general list of unreasonable behaviours

[chocoraisin]

hi, I intend to file for divorce on grounds of adultery but if H doesn't agree (he bloody should, he's been seeing her in our house/bed!) I need to have my back up ready.

Also, we have a relate session (one off) on Friday where he has agreed to hear me out about how I feel about our relationship ending. We have one DC and one on the way together and I would like to take this opportunity to explain to him that, yes the affair was unforgivable, but I am absolutely sick to death of his unreasonable behaviour too.

Things that have been horrible to live with include:

Refusing to allow me to spend any money at all, despite me being the main wage earner. Then when family members have out of kindness, bought me gifts for the home that we 'couldn't afford', he has complained excessively about how stupid, unnecessary and materialistic these items are (blinds for the front room for example) and how selfish and controlling I am for 'changing the house' without his consent.

Refusing to allow me to meet any of his friends, and telling them I am a bitch before they meet me so that when he has seen friends in our home they have all blanked me/made it incredibly uncomfortable for me to be there

Dropping out of family occasions so that he can have parties in our house with friends while me and DS are away

Leaving DS with adults I don't know so that he can go play football instead of take care of his son.

Refused to do anything 'family' other than walk the dog, an activity that causes me pain due to a hip problem I have, so that I either accept that family time is painful, or have to opt out and stay away

Taking our DS away without me for the day with his family and refusing to allow me to come so that I 'had no excuse for not doing work' in his absence

Blaming depression for his refusal to have a sexual relationship, then claiming there is absolutely nothing wrong with him but in fact I am completely unattractive/undesirable/put on too much weight when pregnant etc (I am not overweight)

Instructing me to take the MAP when he did have sex with me, telling me he never would have done it if he'd been thinking straight/realised who he was with!!

Refusing to give birthday/anniversary gifts because they are unnecessary

Never spending time with me one-to-one and refusing to go out with me or do anything that would be seen as being part of a couple

Insisting on a gym membership for himself so he can go out most evenings and playing football 2x a week, irrespective of any family commitments

Expecting me to cover all illnesses with DS and take time off work, do all childcare on my days off whether he is available or not, despite him being a student with much more flexibility/free time

I could go on... I just don't know how to word them under typical unreasonable behaviour headings...

advice would be really gratefully received.

[GoldenMama]

Wow. I'm sorry I don't have any advice on the correct ways to tell him what a complete W*nker he has been to you. I do however think you will be so much happier without him in your life.

Good luck with it all

[chocoraisin]

thanks Golden