WWYD- would really appreciate some help.

[TheBrewster]

Hi there, I've changed my name for various reasons but have been a mumsnetter for years - I just haven't been on for a while. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.....
My husband left me 8 years ago for a younger model, when my children were very young.
After a long drawn out divorce our financial settlement ruled that he pay me a certain amount for the children plus their school fees.
I have since remarried, so my money stopped but obviously I still get maintenance for the children (which incidentally is still the exact same amount as it was 8 years ago)
He has just informed me that he has no money....his business has really struggled through the recession and he was going to see the school bursar about maybe deferring fees.
He has asked me to go for a coffee with him-I suspect he's going to ask me to start either paying for or contributing to, the school fees.
I feel so uneasy about this. Morally I feel I should, but he walked out on us and the court ruled he pays.
The last thing I want is for the children to have to leave their school, but for us to contribute would mean quite a massive lifestyle change. I don't earn anything like enough so it would be my husband who pays really.
Sorry if that's a bit of a rant but I'm flummoxed, I really am.
TIA.

[MmmPercyPigs]

I think if he actually can't pay, then what is to be done?

[Movingout]

My husband stopped earning last year. I spoke to the school who were incredably understanding and my son now has a 100% means tested bursary. Most schools have funds in place for families that fall on hard times. Even if they don't give you 100%, they may give you something.

[landphil]

This is a hard situation for you.
However is it actually relevant that you are no longer together?
If you were still happily married and his business went down , you would be in the very same situation.
In fact you are in a more favourable situation because it sounds as if you are married to someone who is not penniless.

[TheBrewster]

Thanks for your replies. I've just had a meeting with him.
He has managed to defer the school fees for a couple of months. Not sure what he's going to do then.
I have agreed to receive no maintenance for 2 months to help the situation.
It's not the end of the world but we'll have to really tighten our belts. At least the DC's are still in school.
One of them is right in the middle of their GCSE's.

[landphil]

very bad timing