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Divorce/separation

Separated from emotionally abusivve exH advice needed PLEASE

7 replies

oaktree43 · 07/01/2012 08:08

I left family home 2 weeks ago (following advice from Women's Aid) after controlling husband got me arrested for common assault. Police released me after hearing my side that he is hostile since I asked for divorce and his allegation totally untrue. Have been at my parents and husband now contacted social services to make allegations of physical abuse by my father and sexual abuse in my wider family. Again false allegations.
We have two dc's aged 6 and 9.
Legal aid has just been denied to sort out arrangements for children
How am I supposed to negotiate with this hostile husband?
He has obstructed me getting back into family home by putting bolts on doors. All our clothes/still there.
Finally kids want to see him but how do I arrange contact? THANK YOU for any advice.

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EllenandBump · 07/01/2012 14:47

On what grounds has legal aid been declined? I am also just divorcing my ex so understand how hard it is. He is claiming i am an unfit mother and i have a feeling he wants full residency. Poor you. Do try to get legal aid or you could try to get a public funding certificate, depending on your income etc. x

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oaktree43 · 07/01/2012 23:31

Sorry to hear you are having to deal with an unreasonable ex too. I believe legal aid was denied because they saw no dispute that could not be sorted out through mediation. Unfortunately mediation did not work as ex was not open to negotiation and I felt intimidated by him as he flung false accusations at me during the session. He is a long term depressive, extremely controlling and now hell bent on being obstructive.
My worry is that when the dcs go back to school on Monday he will go into school and take them which he is entitled to do because I don't have a residency order. I just need to know who can arrange contact for the kids to see ex so we are all happy. I want to be reasonable despite his hostility to me.
I wish you luck with your divorce proceedings and thanks for replying EllenandBump.

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oaktree43 · 07/01/2012 23:34

Sorry to hear you are having to deal with an unreasonable ex too. I believe legal aid was denied because they saw no dispute that could not be sorted out through mediation. Unfortunately mediation did not work as ex was not open to negotiation and I felt intimidated by him as he flung false accusations at me during the session. He is a long term depressive, extremely controlling and now hell bent on being obstructive.
My worry is that when the dcs go back to school on Monday he will go into school and take them which he is entitled to do because I don't have a residency order. I just need to know who can arrange contact for the kids to see ex so we are all happy. I want to be reasonable despite his hostility to me.
I wish you luck with your divorce proceedings and thanks for replying EllenandBump.

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oaktree43 · 07/01/2012 23:37

Oops not sure how that message appeared twice...my impatience probably.

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DioneTheDiabolist · 07/01/2012 23:39

Sorry you are going through this. I have no advice to give other than to post this in the Legal section. You may find someone who can help you get you and your children's possessions and lives back on track.

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oaktree43 · 08/01/2012 11:16

Thank you I will try reposting it.

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trustissues75 · 01/02/2012 00:28

You're going to have to bite the bullet and make an application to the court. You can self represent, though judging by what you've written my moneys in him getting himself a solicitor so this will put you at a disadvantage. You need a C100 form for an emergency hearing due to the nature of the split and your concerns. If you have no money borrow it, but get it somehow. If he takes the children from school things could get pretty difficult pretty quickly - possession is nine tenths of the law. Get yourself a family solicitor pronto.While im all for amicable separation, mediation is obviously not the correct venue. Screw legal aid, get the money and worry about trying to get some of it back later. This is war, make no mistake about that, and you have got to get your battle plan sorted right now. Im going through exactly the same thing with a liar bordering on sociopath.

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