Help! What a mess!!!

[mumandthree3]

I'll try and keep this concise, because believe me I could ramble on for a week, theres so much going on. Any advice would be gratefully received!!

I split with my partner in Nov 2008 due to his abuse to me and my eldest two children. I have paid the mortgage for our jointly owned home since 2009, it had been allowed to go into arrears by my ex, and i've caught up. He has issued court proceedings with respect of the property. He wants it sold so that he can buy a new place with more space. The house is currently worth approx 10,000.00 less than we paid for it.

(I know the judge presiding over the case and he's a real pig. I'm sure he will love my ex!)

We have two children together, one of which has special needs.
He has remarried.

He only has fortnightly contact on a saturday due to the abuse (personally I feel even thats too much as he still abuses the children only now its mentally not physical), He is taking me to court to get it overnight. I'm fighting it, fighting, fighting.

I asked the council if we could be rehoused and they told me that only a two bed would be possible due to having two boys of 6 an 8. Problem is the boy with special needs cannot be in the same room as his brother. I do have support from IDS and other organisations who said that they would help me get a 3 bed, but it feels a bit insecure.

Private renting is not an option as I have dogs, and the rental market around here is expensive.

I was informed that I may be able to stay in the property until my youngest son reaches 18. But he would then claim half of any equity.

He has told me that the mortgage I pay is in leiu (spelling?) of rent. News to me.

Has anyone else faced a similar situation? What course did events take? Can anyone advise me how to proceed, and what I should expect?

[mumandthree3]

Fiolondon thankyou for your reply. Yes I have done the maths and it doesn't make much financial sense to rent atm. I am worried about the future tho, I'm not sure where I would go once my youngest reaches 18, I wonder if the the council would rehouse us. I will look into whether or not we are Tenants in common as that definitely needs changing if its not.

[mumblechum1]

Was it your solicitor who suggested a Mesher order (ie that the house is transferred to you until the younger child is 18, then sold and the equity split)? That can work well when the children are older and therefore the husband doesn't have to wait too long to receive his share.

So far as the mortgage being paid in lieu of rent, that's one way of looking at it, but you could also argue that as your husband is still on the mortgage deed, he is still responsible and should at least pay something towards it.

It's hard to advise without knowing all the figures, what other assets there are, pensions position etc. If you need some free legal advice you may want to post over on legal with a bit more info and either I or one of the other family lawyers over there will hopefully be able to help.

By the way, you must be in an extremely small town if there is only one District Judge there and you know him or her! Most towns have 5 or 6. If you know the DJ socially then you can ensure that your case is dealt with by a different judge, if necessary at another court.