over the line: would this be grounds for divorce for you?

[whatchamathoosit]

lately I've come to the conclusion that my partner loves himself a bit too much...in other words, i swear he wanks off at least once or twice a day. AT LEAST. now i have no problem w/ him doing what he needs to do in moderation, but it's become such that our relationship is pretty much devoid of intimacy; he has replaced masturbating w/ having a sex life w/ me. Also i'm realising that he may be taking part in this behaviour when I happen to be out of the house (creepy, as if he's 14 and i'm his mum or something) and sometimes this happens when he's supposed to be watching our preschool aged child. THIS, in my opinion is impermissible. The idea that he's doing such a thing whilst our daughter is innocently watching Cbeebies downstairs makes me see RED!!!!
My proof about such a thing is many, many times when i leave the house--to run errands on the weekend for example, i come back to a load of HIS clothes (namely underwear) washing in the washing machine (hmmm, that's interesting), or even more blatant, finding his underwear in the basket w/ wet, conspicuous stains on them. are all men ridiculous wanking monkeys? it makes me feel like he's a pervert.

[AnyPhantomFucker]

are you sure he isn't just incontinent of urine ?

[whatchamathoosit]

he doesn't have any incontinence issues. i'm sure that's not what it is. thx though.

[GypsyMoth]

Why don't you ask him?

[Lovingfreedom]

I wouldn't say that masturbation is grounds for divorce. It does sound like you have some issues in your marriage though. Are there any good bits in your marriage - from the tone of your post I'm reading that you don't like or respect your DH very much - might be good reasons for that. Can't tell from what you've written. Is he bored, depressed, lazy? Have you grown apart in other ways?

[Collaborate]

The unreasonable behaviour "ground" for divorce is a very subjective test, so it doesn't matter what other people think.

You should speak to him though, rather than post to hundreds of anonymous message board viewers. Maybe he'd think you asking us lot about it rather than talking to him about it would also constitute unreasonable behaviour.

[Lovingfreedom]

I wasn't talking legally - OP asked if it would be grounds for divorce for you? So I think she was asking for personal reflections. For me the masturbation wouldn't be but it sounded like there was other stuff. Not sure why asking people's opinions in an anonymised way would be unreasonable..

[suzikettles]

Why would he need to change his clothes if he'd been having a wank?

Has he never heard of tissues?

[Belle50]

My husband is a wanker too!