Hi there,very new to this , anyone else got a Deaf dh, ???

Hi there, very new too, is that a totally deaf dh or a selectively deaf one! My dp is partially deafin one ear, but totaly deaf hen being asked to do things

Hi there no dh is profoundly Deaf, but lip reads amazingly well and has very good speech,as well as being totally gorgeous lol

not yet but it's coming - his mum is two-hearing-aids deaf and it's early onset.

Do have a very good deaf friend with a 2yo though - apparently his ds has now cottoned onto the fact that daddy can't hear without his aids in and now wakes him up in the morning by trying to shove them into his ears...

badge thats sooo sweet mine just jump on him and scare the life outta him lol

My dh really does have hearing problem but refuses to get it checked out. My evidence of this problem is that :
He often mishears me.
He can never hear me if I call out from next room.
He often misses things in conversations with a group eg in a pub with friends, he repeats a point someone else has made.
On holiday in FRance, he coulndt hear the crickets - and they were really loud.

He's v sensitive about it and would never where a hearing aid at this stage, as he's so vain.

Having a profoundly deaf DH must require a fair bit of adapting with kids. What strategies do your children and he have?

we are still learning just try to keep background noise to a minimum and always talk to his face,never shout or try to do the t a l k r e a l s l o w thing as that just pisses him off hope this helps

LGJ's dh had a cochlear implant.
Look out for her.

thanks thats interesting my dh is totally against them ,but hes about to undergo all the testing for one as they will be better able to sort out his aids after ,so we are told

DH and I both hearing, but dd (10months) is profoundly deaf in both ears. Is your child/children hearing?

MummyMelling


Why oh why would your DH be anti ??


It has changed our lives immeasurably.

Did it take awhile to get used to LGJ,or was he able to 'decode' sounds instantly??

I'm moderately deaf, and I should wear aids but won't. I find it so hard to understand things through hearing aids and simply can't decode. I also lipread and get by fine with this. I can fully understand why somebody wouldn't want a cochlea implant, as there is no way I would want normal hearing. As well as decoding, I couldn't cope with all the background noises that normal hearing people hear.

More or less instantly.

I always tell the tale of post switch on.

We were driving for Southampton to Surrey after switch on, I was ringing everyone to tell them it had worked and he could hear again, I was using his work mobile.

He then heard me saying it is wonderful Sally, he can hear me.

Sally, Sally ??

Sally lives in the Middle East get off my bloody works mobile.

He was using the phone within a month.

thanks for responses,he just thinks its better to have analogue [getting digital as soon as they make one powerful enough for him ].i think its because he dosent like the idea of something attarched to his head and still having the earpiece.he dosent like seeing small kids with implants as he thinks it should be their choice and once its done thats it.the whole Deaf thing is quite a political minefield really ,something i find quite hard to get my head around. both DS are hearing as they are previos husbands.

I would always implant a child, that way they have a chance of keeping up with their peers.

Sorry, but that sort Militant deaf shite,really winds me up.

Sherlocklgj... was your DH born Deaf or Deafened, and what is [was] the level of his hearing loss?
DH thinks he is whjat he is and why would he want to be hearing, he can use certain phones if he switches to loop,and his nokia mobile has a loop he wears around his neck

how did he adapt to hearing background noise all the time? I am very sensitive to loud noises as it is, i really dfon't think I could cope with normal hearing.

He went from slightly deaf to profoundly deaf over a period of 3 years and when I say profoundly he could not use the phone.

He had no relationship with our hearing then two year old, he used to withdraw into himself in company. Basically I was losing the man I fell in love with.

Deafness is a curse.

DH,was deafened at 6wks,they found out at 3yrs old,he had aids after that,do you have any special equipment to help at home [ie] smoke detectors ,baby alarms that type of stuff, as we only just got married and im not sure what is out there wtc etc

K

It gave him a headache for the first day or two, then he was tired for a day or two, then he just got used to it.

Catrin DS1 (5) is deaf, rest of family are hearing, have you been on the NDCS website their chat section is really helpful.

We have an alarm on the house, and we as an additional had a strobe light attached to that, so if I was not here the smoke alarm would go off, so DS would hear it anyway, but it also strobes in our room.

Baby alarm I am afraid that all fell to me.

DH is profound,he lipreads a lot and if im stood behind him and talk, or if he is concentrating on something else he cannot hear me unless i raise my voice

if I was profoundly deaf I would probably feel differently. I can manage though. What I hear is equivilant to what a hearing person can hear underwater, and I am used to it. I don't revel in being deaf at all, and there are times when I wish I had been born hearing, but I don't think I could make the change now.

You see I can not understand why someone would chose to live like that, when help is at hand.

Unless of course he is just afraid of the unknown.

you guys are brill so much info coming thro, plus its nice to talk to those in similar situation, i do agree with the not agreeing on the political shite,we are all but human.but im sure DH is a lot more knowledgeable on it all,apparently hes now ostracised by the deaf community cus he married a hearing person !!! so much for love huh

Kelly1978... did you go to mainstream school or school for the deaf??

I am really at that! I don't understand how anyone can feel that protective of what is still a disability no matter how you dress it up!

One of dd's closest friends has a hearing difficulty - don't know to what degree but her speech is noticeably affected (and her behaviour, understandably) - she had to wait for over 2 years for a detailed test. I just don't get it.

mainstream with support. Not that I ever really needed it. I did wear aids up until I was 10 or so, then had my ears pinned back (I had ears like an elephant!). After several weeks of not being able to wear them I never could get used to them. Plus I hated the look of them. They wre huge back then!

apparently hes now ostracised by the deaf community cus he married a hearing person !!! so much for love huh

You see this is what I am talking about.

When was the last time a hearing person was ostracised by a whole strata of society for marrying a deaf person . ??

mercy, they should have done that far sooner, my ds has still not passed a hearing test and has had loads. I am confident he is hearing, he jsut can't concentrate on the test due to ohter issues.
My speech was affected until I was about 12 or so, then I caught up. I spoke slowly and slurred, and mispronounced a lot. People thought I was stupid.

i really dont know if DH would cope with being hearing now and i would be worried about if it would change our relationship....plus he cant hear me snore or fart in bed!!!!

One last question and then I am going to leave this thread.

If he was blind and he was offered glasses would he wear them, or would he rather stumble around in the dark, because he didn't want something on his head.

Dh had 16yrs of speech therapy,if you listen to him you would only think he has a moderate hearing loss ,his speech is really very good,unless he gets tired then it can go off a bit,and he does get a bit lazy around people he knows well.

lol,he wears his glasses!!! but i know what your saying ,still hes going for the testing soon so we will have to wait n see

Where is he being tested ??

Please let me know the outcome.

it souns like it would be good if the two dhs were to meet!

its in Bath,and i think its going to be quite soon, i know he has to have an M.R.I. as part of the process.Where abouts are you from and what age is your DH

great minds kelly or even to chat via pc im sure dh would be wanting to know lots

If you CAT me I will get my DH to talk to your DH via MSN.

We are in Surrey.

DH was implanted at Southampton, and he was 47.

my FIL's hearing started to deteriorate in his 40's (15+ years ago) but still won't accept it but will happily spend £££ on designer glasses! Mad.

Kelly, dd's friend is coming up 6 and has only started speech therapy this year. Poor wee thing (and her parents) should have had some support years ago.

im not set up for cat but i will find out DH works email then i can post it back on here for you or just give you ours melling06@hotmail.com
not sure if hes set it up for chat yet it might still be email only im a technophobe so its no good asking me lol

Have emailed you and set you up on MSN, you may get a grey box saying I have added you, click accept. And Robert should be your uncle.

Cool thanks for that will check it in a sec x

LGJ,had alump in my throat reading about that...

What was it like at switch on?

Obviously as your dh had been hearing for a long time,he had a lot of stored auditory memory.

My MIL, is deaf and also blind. It is amazing what she can do. I am in Bath, do you live near here Mummymelling?

He did have a lot of stored memory Moondog, but we had to be very brave and let them implant the good ear.

When they were tuning him, he said it was just a series of beeps, then he could hear the audiologist, though they sounded strange, then he said I sounded strange but more familiar. IYKWIM

This girl is amazing, we see them semi regularly and she is just loving life .

DISTEL, we live in a village 3miles outside of Bath,nr Radstock

Do you find the hospital helpful?

Sorry Distel who was that question for ?

mummymelling. We had to have ds tested at the R.U.H as he failrd his hearing test. I find it incredible and very humbling when you hear how other peole live.

I moan about so much in everyday life, makes me realise how lucky I am.

DISTEL..Its not bad. All audiology units within the NHS across the country need updating and imoproving. Not entirly their fault cos of stupid managers who have no idea about the department making up stupid rules. They have lost my hearing test records twice now so best to get a copy off them and keep it somewhere safe.

Mummy Melling Darling, wonderful, incrediably sexy husband!

Just in case you didnt guess that was DH putting in his twopenneth lol

(Goegteach - used NDCS website lots to start, but less so now. Was v useful for general info as diagnosis was very sudden and we were quite confused by everything. DD failed neonatal screening twice then diagnosed with hearing impairment at 6 weeks, profound at 7, aided at 9. Is your ds profoundly deaf/implanted?)

my mum was born partially deaf - the hairs in her ears don't stand up, they lie flat and so they don't pick up sound properly.

She wore hearing aids at school and hated them. Partially cos they made her stand out but also cos she said they were heavy and the amplified sound hurt.

She lip reads very well and although was told she could never become a teacher she has now been one for over thirty years!

She still won't wear hearing aids as she finds the extra noise too confusing and painful. However as she can hear a bit and lipreads well it isn't too much of a problem.

Embarassing confession - I didn't realise my mum had hearing problems until I was a teenager and someone pointed it out. I had always done things like stamp on the floor when I wanted her attention, but I didn't really notice anything different between her and other parents.

Catrin, DS1 is severely deaf, possibly deteriorating. He was diagnosed at 3 and wears hearing aids which luckily for us he loves and work well for him.

Hi MM

My dh is deaf and has hearing aids. I've read all the thread now.

We got the baby monitor for hearing but to be honest its really expensive and we didn't buy it. It was a present for when our dd (6 months) was born. I have found that our dd has to be screaming for the alarm to go off. So its good if I am not there but no use if we are both in.

I haven't got a smoke alarm etc for deaf and should. If I stay out somewhere or work late I make dh stay up till I am home or my younger brother stays or dh stays at his parents!

I am there with you on the snoring in bed ha ha! x

this is a great thread, my DH also has hearing problems, not completely deaf but struggles to hear high frequencies (in otherwords - me )

Currently uses a songbird hearing aid (very small, fits just inside the ear and makes him look as if he is working undercover for the FBI), but they are going out of production soon.

Looking for an alternative, he doesn't want to go bavk to the NHS style external hearing aids, but all the other options seem so expensive.

Don't know whether a cochlear implant would help in his case though, we've never been offered it

Miss polly


He will never know about a CI as long as he is giving money to robbers and thieves like Hidden hearing and the likes. ( I speak from experience)

He needs to go back to the NHS, they now do ITE (In the ear), digital aids, in most areas.

We're the other way around. Dh has very sensitive hearing and I'm the deaf one. I started losing my hearing in my 20's and now wear 2 hearing aids. I'd love digital hearing aids but I've been warned that the waiting list around here is 18mths-2yrs.

Hi Sherlock, his songbird has been fantastic though, so we didn't mind the monthly fee. Can't remember how we ended up with one, but probably got a bit disheartened with the NHS. Will go back though and start insisting (and I'll tell em you sent us )

my dh has selective hearing.
he hears beer, sex, xbox, food ok but not much else.
then gets upset when i wont repeat myself.

<<sorry to follow you around everywhere 1b1b but if it wasn't for the xbox I'd worry we were married to the same guy. >>

So glad this thread is getting a small but devoted following!!! lmao , thanks for the info on baby alarms, im going to start working 2 nights a week ,so thought they would be handy, but if the kids need to be screaming, well by that point they would have got up and got into bed with DH, so he would be aware of them...

Karenj1980 ... what part of the country do you live in???

MM - My dd is 6 months and apart from trying to walk in her baby walker there is no way DH can be woken iyswim apart from the alarm.

I am in Aldershot in Hampshire.

Its my 2nd year Wedding Anniversary and I could just wake him up right now and tell him how much I love him but then I can't can I?!!! The things that are restricted - but I do really love him!

Sherlock - Thank you so much for your opinion on Hidden Hearing. I have found them to be so expensive. My DH parents were paying and they always seemed to be buying new ones for him. And its great sometimes that he can hear a little better with the newer ones, but the price of them is SHOCKING!

By the way MM and anyone else out there - have you noticed that TESCO sell the hearing aid batteries in the battery section. They are much cheaper than hidden hearing - 24 hours (fantastic) and you get points!

MM - It is fantastic to know that there are others out there. I'm very proud of my DH.

Do you go to any subtitled shows at the cinema?

sometimes we go to cinema ,but they always show at such odd times,like nobody deaf ever works!!!!.im really proud of what my hudh has acheived,he never thought he would marry, and we got married 1st july06, he works for Seeability a charity for visually impaired with learning disabilities. we get his batteries from audiology a box at a time, he used ti buy them but they are free from there

my DH spends a small fortune on DVDs because they have subtitles in them.

Hi MM

Where do you live then?

I work for a cinema lol, so the best thing is to contact them in a nice way and ask. They normally do the films on a Monday - whats your local one?

Congratulations on your wedding day. My DH too thought he would never marry, have a job he loves and not just be "the deaf one" and is the top team member, and have a child.

Karen x

We live near Bath,have tried that with the Odeon and they wernt interested really ,besides it gives DH excuse to buy his DVDs lol,was your dh born Deaf or Deafened, did he attend mainstream school? mine did till 16 with a phu attatched then went to deaf boarding school [MARY HARE] till he was19, [hes 31 now] we are trying for our 1st baby together ,but he is DAD to my 4yr and 2yr old

He doesn't know if born deaf as he passed all tests till age 3 or 4.

I'll speak to the team at Bath - Any preferences of films coming out soon? I know the Manager personally x

Oops forgot the rest of the message - the post arrived!!!

I don't think he went to a mainstream school but he could of.

He is 29 this year and we just had Chloe 6 months ago.

Thanks for the offer apparently DH went for interview depor trainee ass manager there[didnt get it]and they said there are only so many films with subs and they all have to share them so they can only show them when they have got them.

whats your dh name? if it was a group interview i think i know who he is?

thats rubbish about subtitled shows - there are a few film distributors who don't do a subtitled version but the discs are available for other films. the problem is not enough of us to go to demonstrate just how great it is.

x

DAVID ...and i think he had several chats with the manager, they were odd said that even if he got the job he wouldnt be in Bath Odeon,as they dont employ peeps at their local cinema and he would have had to go to taunton or wales or slisbury to work....very strange. Anyway he is really happy working for Seeability at the moment,and its better money so its better all round really.

How funny is that? I was one of the panel for the Odeon doing the interviews. I gave David the thumbs up and got back from my hols and realised he didn't get it. They only took one guy on and he quit straigt away!The job was for a regional place in the South West Region so they could of been posted as far as Wales!!!!

It's a small world x

how spooky is that ill tell him when he gets in from work!!! we just found out yesterday were expecting our 1st baby [and last!!] together . xxand DH went to see audiologist yest and came home with new digital aids,to try for 2 months, bit mean as they havent tuned them to replicate analogue,they just wanted to see how he would get on with them..poor mans brain was frying yest and what with my news as well...meltdown lol

Congratulations to you both, that's amazing!!

I don't know much about hearing aids as yet, as dh mum and dad always got them. Not no more, so I'll need some help on who to get them from. They are so expensive!

you should be getting them free off the N.H.S. god forbid that your going to pay for them..does your DH see audiology at your local hosp?? if not he needs to see G.P and get an urgent referall asap for an up to date hearing test and be fitted with new aids, my DH wears the really dark brown ones designed for black people as they blend in so well with his hairline they are barely noticeable ,xx

just a thought if your DH needs any advice etc just let me know and ill get my DH details so he can contact him etc xx