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Mumsnet Discussions: Disabled parents : no man in my house!! (12 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By AlmostAnAngel on Mon 09-Jan-06 09:38:40
i rang my elderly mum this morning and she is livid!! she has a carer to make sure she is ok in the morning [mum can get dressed herself it is mainly to check she is ok .]and one in the evening to get her bed ready etc [it took years for her to accept any help accept from me] last night her carer brought a trainee carer[male] with her ,and said [prob as i wasnt there] " this is * he is a trainee and is working with me to see what i do etc".........mum heard"this is * and he will be looking after you instead of me"............mum hasnt slept all night worried about having a man in her home...i have called the carers to check if a man did go with her carer and yes he was a trainee..mum has now gone to bed ..what else can i do to get her to calm down she was saying i dont want ANYONE in my house i can look after myself.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By zephyrcat on Mon 09-Jan-06 09:41:48
Hiya Blimey this is the last thing you need after all the time it took for her to agree to having care in the first place If it was me I would ring the carers and probably complain - I would have thought that they should have checked with you first? Maybe if yu can ring them from your Mum's place so that she can hear you tell them that they musn't ever do that again she might be reassured.....
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By AlmostAnAngel on Mon 09-Jan-06 09:47:43
hiya prob is i understand it from both sides ,,the poor sod has to train!..arghhhh! i am just getting 70% happy and im not going to let this pee me off! i am waiting for her carer to ring me so i can get hwr to explain to mum slowly!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By zephyrcat on Mon 09-Jan-06 09:50:52
Yeah true, but they must have loads of others to visit? Hopefully your Mum will agree to listen to the carer....would be a nightmare for you to end up back at square one after getting this far!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By AlmostAnAngel on Mon 09-Jan-06 09:55:30
"deeeeep breath"
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By PeachyClair on Mon 09-Jan-06 09:57:48
Hi This isn't an uncommon reaction amongst the elderly, and indeed has influenced the removal of many mixed hospital wards. And whilst I wouldn't care a jot (IME the males have been put through so much grief about nursisng / midwifery / childcare, whichever non-norm field they've gone into, it's the dedicated ones that make it). However, I'm not an elderly woman and I sure you have the right to raise this with the agency, who should be sympathetic. the reality of course is a carer shortage, but hopefully they'll be able to note this on your mum's file for the future. The whole point of asking about the trainee is to check she's OK with it: he'll just have to wait in the car won't he? Won't kill him, and it won't be the last time it happens. HTH
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By zephyrcat on Mon 09-Jan-06 09:59:39
lol Don't know how you do it. My Mum is having a nightmare with my Nan at the mo and she has wound me up to the point where I can't even talk to her (my Nan) You must have the patience of a Saint!!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By AlmostAnAngel on Mon 09-Jan-06 10:05:57
no !! i dont i just wind myself up ! i used to get really down i look back and at one point i was working taking dds to school working 9=3 picking up dds doing house work cooking ,then going to mums [and dad then]cleaning her house taking her shopping took her washing home then retuned it ironed, i still sort her tablets out...and i wondered why with a small baby at the time too i got clinnical depression as i still didnt think i was doing enough! ,,,
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By AlmostAnAngel on Mon 09-Jan-06 10:10:18
ok im off to do some work you take care swiper
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By zephyrcat on Mon 09-Jan-06 10:11:23
you too xx
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By AlmostAnAngel on Mon 09-Jan-06 15:08:52
zeph!!!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By my3kids on Sun 22-Jan-06 10:18:52
no no no not on you shoudl ring the ppl who supply her so called carere and tell them you want a woman ONLY your mum has the right to ask for a woman carer


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