Are men emotionally grown-up enough for a dadsnet??

[DrDaddy]

Yes, I think we are. I'm new to this site and it feels a bit odd posting in the "men's room". I half expected to meet a certain male popstar in here... DW has been a member for ages. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and it's amazing. I'd love to be able to exchange ideas, views, frustrations with other dads. Speaking of frustrations, being a dad to 2 little ones means that a certain activity has been off the menu for some time and it's driving me crazy. I can talk to my close male friends and they will suggest solutions:

1. sort yourself out (yep, been doing that almost every day since I was 14)
2. porn (sorry, it's SO tedious)
3. prostitute / escort (degrading and way too risky)

And before you think it, I'm not interested in an affair either.
But what's so great about this site is that it doesn't have to offer solutions, only support and empathy. I think us guys are up to that too, aren't we??

[foxinsocks]

there are a few men on here and you don't have to stick to the men's room

post any questions in the relevant topic and you're sure to get a response

[UnquietDad]

We've had the dadsnet discussion recently - scroll down for a look. It's full of sarky comments from the resident laydees, though!

[Jazzi]

DrDaddy, dadsnet would end up just being about sex, look it only took a few lines and then you were talking about it!!!

[noddyholder]

no they are too competetive!

[Jazzi]

Which could actually be quite amusing!!

[northernjon]

I'm not sure that I am grown up enough, but am i representative of men generally? It would be good to be able to talk, and sometimes just shout and grumble about things, especially to do with relationships, not least because in some relationships talk is the last thing you do, for fear of accidentally uncovering the truth.

As for the "subject" in hand, it's been 6 years and counting here, and yes, it is frustrating, and no, there is nothing you can do that doesn't feel wrong and dishonest

[UnquietDad]

Generally speaking, would we look at a website that was only for dads? I would but would keep checking it only if it was lively. There are a couple which look interesting here and here although the latter is only for SAHDs. And there is this section of babyworld.co.uk as well. In general, though, there is nothing at all like mumsnet out there.

It's odd because there are a few books on dad-hood which have done well, e.g.
this one and this one .

[Tortington]

i think the whole non sahds /primary carer male posters on mumsnet is very strange.

my thoughts and feelings are very gender biased in that here i am at the moment at work yet still enjoying trivia and gossip with other mums usually about kids although not exclusively.

and i truly dont understand why men who are non primary carers would want to do that?

[UnquietDad]

i sense a time-loop. this discussion has been hads before.

[Tortington]

most discussions have although all POVs have not!

say confucious - not really i said it

[JoolsToo]

UD all the discussions have been done before (usually to death ) that's (mumsnet) life!

Welcome DrDaddy are you in fact a doctor? (could be useful to know!) You've already confessed to being a daddy.

Sometimes it can be very boring around here at other times more lively. We've just had an interesting debate on 911.

[Tortington]

where the mumsnet massive decided the swedish were responsible

[Caligula]

I think you're probably more likely to get different answers from your 1, 2 and 3 on a mixed site because on a dads alone site, it would probably revert back to the old stand-bys. In the company of women, are men more likely to venture out into more emotional territory? I don't know.

Anyway, welcome.

[Caligula]

What are the swedes responsible for btw?

[HappyDaddy]

Emotionally grown up? or just not boring?

[DrDaddy]

Hey - thanks for all the welcomes and replies. Sorry for the time lag in my response!

JoolsToo - yes I am a Dr, but a PhD not a medic I'm afraid. I can bore for the UK on my thesis though

UnquietDad - cheers for the links. I'll take a look.

[MichaelDadOfTom]

Yes it seems that I am not alone. I have just joined after DW has been on here for some time and have been thinking the sme for ages.

It would be excellent if the was some sort of 'dadsnet' type forum. As I said in my post dated today, I am looking into hosting one/starting one up. It does feel a bitwierd haveing a mens room. It's just not the same. I hear mums talking about mumsnet all the time but you wont hear guys saying, 'guess what I found out in the men's room on mumsnet'.

Will keep you posted on the progress of the new site and post a link once its up and running.

As far as the certian activity Dr Daddy. I dont know what to say it fills me with dread. I have one 10month old and since he came along activity has decreased by 50% at least and baby 2 is due at the end of may. On the plus side although quantity may go down quality should go up in theory anyway. I would just stick with option 1. Or try and have a regular time 1/2 a fortnight where someone takes the kids and you can spend some time tgether. Good Luck.

[NbgsYellowFeathers]

Dh was talking about setting up a dadsnet the other night.
Not sure how far he'll get though.

[MichaelDadOfTom]

One way around the problem of dad's not haveing the time to 'log on' is a texting service. I have heard that these are not too hard to set up. It's one thing that I have looked into. Again will keep you all posted.

[foxinsocks]

DrDaddy, if you are still concerned about the lack of sex situation, you can prob get a few pointers from the various threads on it on the site.

But I would say a few things that contributed to me feeling that way for a while - firstly, it takes a while for your body to get back to a reasonable shape and feeling crap about your shape isn't conducive to wanting to have sex/feeling sexy. Secondly, I found it hard being a mum and reconciling that with being sexy iyswim. I needed to be able to 'switch off' after having had the kids all day before I was able to even contemplate doing anything in the bedroom - so even if that just meant having a long, relaxing bath WITHOUT being disturbed at the end of the day.

So from your point of view - lots of positive comments (but mean them ) about dw's body, a bit of space for dw away from everyone, unexpected help from you around the house (or even, if you can afford it, a cleaner!) and if you can manage it, a babysitter every now and then for some time alone together. And try not to put the pressure on her too much because that can backfire and make her feel worse.

[MerryMarigold]

there was a thread started by a man in the usual mumsnet, precisely on the topic of 'no sex' and there were an amazing number of posters on it, including his wife! it was brilliant to have a mix. why does it have to be a 'boys v girls' thing. i think there will always be more women doing this as we love a natter, even if it's on the computer. i know my dh would rather spend his spare time with a martial arts movie than on a site like this unless it was to do with 'how can i turn my child into a genius football star?'

[DrDaddy]

MDOT - thanks for the cross-post. Just posted another on your thread!

MildMannered - PhD is in History. Don't think we're married...

The situation is a lot better now. Partly thanks to getting it off my chest on here and receiving nice advice from both men and women.
It was kind of the reason for the thread in the first place. Can we men get support from this sort of forum? Yes. Could we do it without support from our females MNers? The jury is still out...

[MerryMarigold]

mildmanneredjanitor - you've just given away what your dh thinks of your sex life if you thought it may be him writing the OP!