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Saw this...

20 replies

SigmundFraude · 08/11/2013 10:44

And thought I'd share it, as it's so thought provoking:

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Pan · 08/11/2013 10:51

From the video, he isn't actually a 'single dad'. He is a non-resident parent, with weekend access. And we don't know why this situation came about.

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UriGeller · 08/11/2013 10:55

I'm an NRP. I think this is rather self pitying and pathetic actually. It screams "Me me me".

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SigmundFraude · 08/11/2013 10:59

Well, I guess, it's a little tomaytoes/tomartoes, but yes, non resident parent then, if you like. No we don't know how this situation came about, but I wasn't analysing it. I simply found it very moving Smile.

And this is Dadsnet, so maybe thinking about Dads is a good thing now and again.

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Pipparivers · 08/11/2013 11:00

I find it really disrespectfully to call yourself a 'single parent' if you look after your kids for 1 weekend a fortnight. But I also am not too keen on nrp as I am not sure how much parenting they do?

However it is interesting to see how it can affect that nrp and the things that keep them going in between. I don't think it is relevant to the piece why he isn't more involved. The point is how that affects him

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Pan · 08/11/2013 11:00

Yes, I thought so too. I'm a NRP, and love it when dd is here, as she does - me and her mum work hard to keep dd happy. Talk about it all the time. This chap is pretty much a whiner about himself.

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SigmundFraude · 08/11/2013 11:00

Do you think so Uri? You have a friend in Pan then!

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SigmundFraude · 08/11/2013 11:03

This is quite interesting actually, both of my sisters refer to each other as single parents, I didn't realise the terminology had changed, or at least, I didn't realise that saying 'single parent' was frowned upon. Because when it's your time on your own, you are the only parent taking care of the kids.

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Pipparivers · 08/11/2013 11:04

I want to clarify before I offend. The amount of parenting done is because, how can you in that amount of time? How can they be at the forefront of your mind when you are responsible for such a short period of time. I am sure some manage it, but that hasn't been my experience

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SigmundFraude · 08/11/2013 11:06

'I'm a NRP, and love it when dd is here, as she does - me and her mum work hard to keep dd happy. Talk about it all the time.'

It's great that you and your ex work hard to keep your dd happy. Does that mean though, that others who don't manage to achieve the same harmony that you have, haven't tried hard?

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Pan · 08/11/2013 11:08

True Pippa , I'd never call myself a single dad, I dont have the demands day-to-day that her mum does. We talk just about daily, and we don't stick to our mutually agreed routines, we negotiate and compromise. And dd knows she can't play us off, we're too tight for that.

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caruthers · 08/11/2013 12:53

He doesn't come across as a "Whiner" at all, he comes across as someone who genuinely misses his children.

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Daddyofone · 08/11/2013 14:19

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SigmundFraude · 08/11/2013 14:32

So sorry to hear this Daddyofone, I'm really sorry you're upset. You have to hold on to the knowledge that not everyone coldly questions your situation, they really don't. I don't. It must be really difficult to let go of your child, I can't imagine it. The video is a lot of men's (and some women's) reality, I find the 'well he must have done something, what does he know' line really depressing.

I might start my own forum, where 'analysis' and cynicism is smashed by the ban hammer!

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Daddyofone · 08/11/2013 23:17

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Mignonette · 08/11/2013 23:22

Daddyofone

You'll hear no criticism of your post and intentions from me. My DH wasn't able to have residence permanently for his three children even though he should have done. He sees them all the time as we refused a formal arrangement and said they could come here whenever they wanted to, not whenever their Mother wanted them to. They were all approaching teens and in their teens so they had the freedom to do just that.

I saw his pain and the way society does not acknowledge this in the same way.

My sympathies for you. As your child gets older, things will hopefully change as long as you hang in there and always remain a constant in their life Flowers for you and Wine

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MiniMonty · 09/11/2013 01:22

Bullshit Ozzie "access" as opposed to "contact" and he doesn't even look old enough to have a job let alone kids old enough to fight over.

An "oooh and oh so nice" film in it's way but its aside from anyone's reality. So it's pointless and does nothing for anyone in the long run.

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ChippingInLovesAutumn · 09/11/2013 01:40

You do realise this is a film for Tropfest don't you?

He might not even have kids.

On the other hand, I do know men who feel like this :(

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Pan · 09/11/2013 09:49

Yes the director is the actor who doesn't appear to actually have any children.
I think it's the mawdling aspect that puts me off. Taking photos for 8 months suggests he really needs to move on. And half-eaten plates of food with cups that are still warm harks of a war zone evacuation.

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Daddyofone · 09/11/2013 11:10

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lostdad · 12/11/2013 13:34

The only people I consider single parents are those who care for the children 100% of the time and the other parent is not interested and won't do their share of childcare.

In my books you're not a single parent if you're preventing the children spending time with the other parent whilst telling everyone that you're the only one who does anything.

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