Why do men watch porn

(56 Posts)
20092012 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:12:37

I know people say its normal for a guy to watch porn but really why do you feel the need to if u have a girl? I'm married with 2 kids in 24 and my husband is 26 we have been married for 4 years, I don't like the fact he watches porn it makes me feel like I'm not enough for him, I can't help but think I'm obviously not satisfying him! When I ask him he jus changes subject like he doesn't want to talk about it so I don't push him! I would like to know from mainly the men hu do feel the need to watch it and why? Also women dont hesitate to comment thanx

hell4heather Tue 22-Jul-14 21:18:45

I'm lurking too. Why men watch porn isn't really an issue. If you are in a relationship with someone, they watch porn and you don't like it you are entitled to say so! If it hurts you and he/she loves you, they should stop. YOU set the boundaries in your relationship. Never forget that.

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla Tue 08-Jul-14 11:21:32

it seems like this post is still open! i'm lurking. :D
men watch porn because thats how they get off - its harder for a man to use imaginiation. I use porn so I can get ideas on how to spice the sex life up! He watches porn to get off while I'm not there ( i don't live with my DP)

PrivetHawkmoth Thu 27-Mar-14 15:14:48

Sorry OP, I realise my post doesn't exactly answer your question - but I think the reasons men watch porn are probably quite similar to why women watch porn. It's extremely natural to be turned on by the thought or image of other people having sex!

I think you need to get your partner to talk to you about it more and be more open so you can understand it - he needs to listen to your concerns and appreciate how it might make you feel, especially if you're feeling stressed or insecure.

PrivetHawkmoth Thu 27-Mar-14 15:05:08

I'm a woman (happily married, decent sex life) and I like watching porn occasionally - it's no reflection on my DH or my sex life, it just turns me on and gives me a good orgasm. I don't think men are always more 'visual' than women, necessarily. I certainly get turned on by visual stuff. I go through phases of liking specific types of porn and am not a fan of the traditional porn actor look at all, or the swearing and fake boobs/fake moaning that's so common in mainstream porn.

I find it gets me thinking about sex more often and improves my libido - the more orgasms I have, the more I want. If I've been busy for a few weeks, sex has got less frequent etc, then a bit of porn can quickly help me get back in the mood.

And yes, there are a lot of ethical problems around porn.. but there are also a hell of a lot of amateur videos out there with consenting adult 'performers' - just people enjoying sex basically.

BreakingDad77 Thu 27-Mar-14 14:41:17

Men are visual creatures, how would you feel if men started saying you cant read fifty shades etc?

If he is turning sex down to wank instead then that is a problem and also if it is some strange fetish you may want to talk to him.

sheriffofnottingham Wed 12-Mar-14 17:42:08

because playing with your bits feels nice and porn helps jolly the job along. generally having a wank has little to do with love or desire it's more like scratching an itch. hangovers, tiredness, insomnia, hunger, anger, boredom... the list goes on, all made better by having a wank

sazgirl Mon 03-Mar-14 14:41:58

I love watching porn. I watch alone and with DH and very regularly. Nothing wrong with it, it enriches and varies our sex life. I feel empowered, in charge and very very sexy...DH never complains he "loves me to bits"
never feel guilty...its just good sexy fun !!!

Berzingaa Fri 29-Nov-13 19:41:45

I'm 20 and my partners 23 we frequently watch porn together, we both have a rather high sex drive anyway having sex 1-2 a night (bar that time of the month) It's fun, I personally don't see the issue..

erilou38 Fri 29-Nov-13 13:26:41

My husband is 26 and he loves watching porn. I guess it'sbecause he is still fairly young and highly-sexed. He usually watching it twice a day. I'm 38, his sexy older Milf he calls me LOL and i have to admit that i love porn too! Quite often we watch it together and then actoutsome of the scenes!

UrbanDad Thu 28-Nov-13 20:58:34

"Scientists at the University of Montreal launched a search for men who had never looked at pornography - but couldn't find any"
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/6709646/All-men-watch-porn-scientists-find.html

VikingTon Fri 08-Nov-13 16:39:04

^ Lol wut

Biggedybiggedybongsoitis Thu 07-Nov-13 09:51:59

To aid masturbation.

MistAllChuckingFrighty Wed 06-Nov-13 21:07:48

I find Stella does fuck-all for my relationship

It makes my husband don a wife beater vest and makes his dick go soft

Just my opinion

Daddyofone Wed 06-Nov-13 20:59:13

I think a thing is that the ramifications of sex if you do it right ( i.e. make a baby ) , on a physical level, are far more serious for a woman than a man. So it's bound to effect perceptions and behaviour. Which is why women seem more interested in things like 50 Shades where she gets her man at the end of a trilogy ( I'm guessing ) , and men are more at ease with masterbating over different porn actors every time they tune in.

So again, purely on a physical level, a man could successfully be party to creating babies on a daily basis in theory, a woman obviously is in a different situation. Which I guess explaines why in some species, males in the animal kingdom have a large group of females that they have sex with and fight to the death for.

openseason Wed 06-Nov-13 12:25:08

to me men are more visual so it exciting to watch its not just men who watch it a lot of women do too sometimes you find yourself watching it to put a bit of spice back n to your own sex life.

Wildcherry1976 Fri 13-Sep-13 08:07:30

Men are visual creatures and porn is an aid to exploring their sexual fantasies. They serve the same purpose as erotic novels. Women in relationships should only be concerned if their sex life is dwindling and/or is non existent. In which case, porn has become a replacement for them.

To the person who posted this thread I say;

Would you rather he stopped watching porn and fantasised about the local waitress at the coffee shop down the street? Everyone needs to fantasise. It is, on the whole, a very healthy and necessary activity and does not mean that you are not enough for him. Trying to suppress that could do far more damage to your relationship than good. You don't need to condone his activity just don't give him a hard time about it. If your sex life is less than Stella focus on improving this without laying blame. Take some risks in your relationship and have some fun.

One could even rephrase the OP to ask "why do women in relationships read Fifty Shades of Gray?

The answer is: because they get off on it. The better question is why does visual pornography arouse such disgust whereas written pornography does not?

Kafri Mon 27-May-13 12:44:37

I kind of see it like this.....

I like reading a book (not porn - just a bog standard book though I did read 50 shades )

DH likes to watch a bit of porn

When I was younger (Ok, so at 30 im not exactly ancient now), it used to bother me but as I've got older I just can't be bothered making a big deal out of it. The internet has defo made it more accessible to both men and women which is fine if that's what you're into. It could be said that the internet has made reading more accessible - downloading books to kindle.

DH watched porn before he met me. It doesn't think i'm not good enough. He doesn't want to go out and cheat on me - it's just something he enjoys so as long as I don't have to hear all about it, then i'm really not bothered.

minkembra Thu 16-May-13 20:08:57

fastloris some of that has been claimed in various studies but the type of man a woman is attracted to varies depending on her cycle.
the biological imperative is to mate with a man with high testosterone but to bond with a man with lower testosterone. less dangerous. so one to bring up kids with and another to actually father them.
plus if same woman sleeps with her partner and non partner within her fertile period she is more likely round conceive to the non partner.

or so some studies say.

then again just because it is a biological urge does not actually make it ok to cuckold your husband!?!

it is also a biological urge to kill any of your partners offspring that are not yours.

that said have had partners who were into porn and others who were not. as long as it is not misogynist paedophilic or otherwise illegal or overly offensive or all day long i am not bothered and don't view it as personal.

likewise masturbation. sometimes a solo flight is less hassle.

AndrewD Thu 16-May-13 19:54:34

I wonder if that's a Dawkins ratified version of the evolutionary justification for porn?

JustinBsMum Thu 02-May-13 14:05:05

I think it depends on how often he is watching it.

If he needs a 'fix' each night before he comes to bed to have sex with you, OP, then imv you can feel offended. If it's for an hour late on a Saturday night, then it's not an issue.

How often do you think of sex, OP? If you're like me, hardly at all, it's not that I am avoiding it but other stuff keeps me busy. So perhaps you (and I) need to loosen up a bit, perhaps sex should pop into your head (is it once a day that women are s'posed to think of it??) now and again and perhaps you should initiate sex with your DH more often so that he sees you in a more sexual way than just a partner and Mum. But maybe you do that already.

RumbleGreen Wed 24-Apr-13 23:08:30

Porn is like fast food instant gratification, no hassle and it's also really easy to find.

Peregrin Sun 21-Apr-13 15:02:24

Standing cheer for Toadinthehole!

If the "need to spread the seed" type arguments were correct, why would contraception be so popular?

Desires can be trained and channelled. I don't agree that they are harmless if left to their own devices. This is not to advocate the suppression of desires, by the way! But I disagree with the general claim that there is no harm in looking.

Branleuse Sat 13-Apr-13 07:24:07

I think people generally have their own reasons for enjoying it, but it's mostly cos it's there and they can and it makes for a better wank

Syl,

Much of what you say about women is, to be honest, also true for men I think. The truth is that a good deal of conclusions drawn about men's and women's sexuality seems to be heavily influenced by gender stereotyping. I think this is because research into human sexuality is still quite undeveloped, and therefore not particularly robust. Furthermore, although this research is in theory scientific, and therefore carries the imprimatur of scientific infallability, the study of human behaviour as a science is quite a different thing to researching atoms and things like that.

I doubt there's any biological reason for men being more inclined to use porn than women. Unless, that is, porn is defined as visual material. But I don't see why that is so. If "porn" simply means material designed solely to arouse, then 50 Shades of Gray is also porn. Yet for some reason, this awful piece of writing is considered in some way more sophisticated than a top-shelf magazine. It isn't - it just takes longer to get through.

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