My DW and I have a beautiful 6 week old son, born prematurely at 34 weeks, so he's pretty much term now.
My problem is that DW gets very tired and has had DS in bed with her while she is sleeping. I am very much against this from a point of general safety as well as the heightened risk of SIDS.
I have seen DW asleep with him in bed four times now:
~ Properly asleep on one side of the bed with DS on the other. He was uncovered, but - in my view - could easily have been should DW had rolled over with the duvet.
~ Found that DW had fallen asleep while breastfeeding him lying down - they were both facing each other, with DW's breast in front of DS's face, which could have smothered him if she has rolled.
~ Found that DW had fallen asleep while sat up in bed with DS asleep on her chest - DW did not have hold of him and he could have rolled off into duvet or off bed and onto the floor.
~ Watched DW fall asleep sat up in bed while DS slept on her lap - he could have rolled off into duvet, or had his head pushed into chin.
DW doesn't see the problem and says she is comfortable with co-sleeping, saying people have done it for centuries and it's important for bonding. She says it is safe, and that she would hear/feel/sense that something was wrong with DS if he stirred. I don't disagree that it is an old practice and good for bonding, but what if DS is not in the position to shout out - for example if DW had rolled slightly while asleep after breastfeeding, as his face would have been covered. Also on two of the above occasions I have moved DS back into his cot and DW has remained completely oblivious to this.
I am worried sick and having regular night terrors whereby I wake up thinking DS is in bed and has died somewhere amongst the covers. I make sure I remain awake during all the night feeds (I'm up anyway to change him) until I know DS has been put back into the moses basket, which I know DW is not impressed with.
Advice and experience please. Am I worrying unduly?
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DW asleep in bed with newborn
44 replies
Commodore · 14/11/2012 12:08
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