DH worrying about losing a child overboard. Is this possible?

(36 Posts)
DonnaNoble Wed 13-Jul-11 20:32:04

My parents are wanting to take myself, DH, DB, SIL and our 4 children away on holiday for their 40th wedding anniversary. DB wil not fly, so a cruise has been suggested.

The children would be aged between 2 and 8 when we went. DH is not keen as is worried about one of our 3 lively boys deciding to leg it overboard.

Is this a risk? He has got me worrying now and my mum is pretty cheesed off.

Relizabeth Sat 16-Jun-12 14:23:13

It's fantastic going on a cruise holiday with children!! Ours are 14, 6 and 4 and we have been doing this since our 6 yr old was a baby!

It's great because every one gets a holiday parents and children. They get to do their childrens clubs which are full of exciting activities and new friends and you get peace and quiet todo your own thing.

Go for it and don't worry about the overboard stuff-it won't happen as you are all loving caring parents and granparents!

Enjoy and have a wonderful time!

RoyalOakMaiden Tue 12-Jun-12 16:08:55

Old old Oooold thread.

Wonder if the OP got her holiday? Or if any children fell overboard and drowned...

belgo Tue 12-Jun-12 16:05:18

A holiday villa with a swimming pool is far more dangerous then a cruise. Children die every year in swimming pools on holiday.

ChopstheDuck Tue 12-Jun-12 16:03:33

I've often wondered this, but after reading the thread I think you are worrying too much.

When I think of all the things that the dts have gotten up to on holidays - dt2 was climbing swinging on a flimsy wooden fence at the top of a 700m deep canyon in Provence last year when my back was turned for a second! Luckily another tourist saw him and stopped him. All over the place there are risks from rivers, or heights, I think a cruise ship sounds quite safe in comparison.

belgo Tue 12-Jun-12 16:02:38

I remember one of my children standing on a chair next to the railings, of course we made her get down quickly, but I suppose that way it is possible. The same way it is possible for a child to fall off a balcony. Very rare, but can happen if they are allowed to climb on tables/chairs without being supervised.

stillfeel18inside Tue 12-Jun-12 15:57:31

OP I worried about this before going on a cruise a couple of years ago (Royal Carribean) but honestly, I stopped worrying once on the cruise because the railings are really high, at least on this particular ship (voyager of the seas) and there's nowhere a child could slip/squeeze through, however determined. I did worry slightly when we had one very windy day at sea so insisted the kids (10 and 8 then) didn't go on deck on their own that day. Depending on their age, cruises have such a safe feel that the kids do pretty much roam free most of the time and that's part of the fun - getting to know the ship and deciding what they want to do at different times - so it's probably not practical to decide the solution is to ensure they're with you at all times unless they're very little.

However fears can definitely ruin a holiday - I too remember a villa with pool holiday when I spent the whole time living on my nerves - not fun!

Mum2be79 Sat 04-Feb-12 16:43:51

As an avid cruiser with many cruises under my belt I can assure you that it is NOT possible to lose a child overboard unless of course they are climbing/mucking about or pushed!
The guards are so high they come up to my mid chest (5ft 3ins) and perfect height for resting arms on at chest level. Safety is so stringent that it really is not possible.
Yes there have been cases of people 'falling overboard' but these have been due to drunkeness, stupid behaviour, assault and murder. NEVER has it happened to a small child.
As for your 'lively' boy - I have met dozens of lively children (some of which believe me I have that split second thought whilst looking over the rails ...) and none have been that stupid to leg it overboard. Either your child has something seriously wrong with their behaviour or you're not giving your child much credit for sanity and intelligence.
Go for it - cruising is brilliant. 9Although we're not going until DS is three because Princess don't provide much for the younger child and charge the same rate whether a child is 6 months or 16 years!!!)

nannyl Tue 19-Jul-11 09:31:50

Have done 4 P&O cruises

in all honesty there is no way they would accidently fall over board onthe main passenger decks
No more risk than in any normal modern shopping centre with different levels

the deck boundries are high and not climb able

you could NOT trip and fall over board by mistake.

slightly more risky is your balcony if you have one.... but again only if you allow your child to perhaps stand on the chair on the balcony or sit on the side....
and they are always saying do NOT sit on balcony rail

Also on the main passenger decks (which are up high) even if you fell climbed by using furniture as a climbing frame, over you would probably land on a lower deck, not in the sea.

If you are really worried just get a room that doesnt have a balcony.... and main passenger decks are as safe as any other public place which is not on ground level

Jacinda Sat 16-Jul-11 01:24:23

Children can and do go overboard on small boats and yachts. Commercial cruise ships are something entirely different. They are basically huge floating hotels designed and built with safety of all passengers in mind. Toddlers or drunken tourists falling into the sea wouldn't be good for business.

Bear Grylls lived (lives?) with his young children on a boat.

Isla77 Sat 16-Jul-11 00:05:52

There is a Cruise Critic section on TripAdvisor. This has been discussed on there and people who have been on cruises with young children have been very reassuring. Also on the cruise section under travel on Mumsnet. You might want to check on there. Hope you work something out.

ebbandflow Fri 15-Jul-11 22:39:27

Personally I'd be worried sick, and be relieved that your DH is against the idea.

Mollyfloss Fri 15-Jul-11 22:31:43

Georgimama: It sounds like you think worriers are a bit ridiculous. I wouldn't say most people are gripped with fear for their children but parents generally do worry a lot, it's natural. In a way because we worry we pay attention and often that is what keeps kids safe although you can't protect them from everything.

Donnannoble: I get your husband with the balcony thing. It does happen although rarely and if you can stay on the ground floor then it's one less worry.

Mollyfloss Fri 15-Jul-11 21:56:46

Georgimama: It sounds like you think worriers are a bit ridiculous. I wouldn't say most people are gripped with fear for their children but parents generally do worry a lot, it's natural. In a way because we worry we pay attention and often that is what keeps kids safe although you can't protect them from everything.

Donnannoble: I get your husband with the balcony thing. It does happen although rarely and if you can stay on the ground floor then it's one less worry.

DonnaNoble Wed 13-Jul-11 21:59:46

Oh meant to add when we did go to hotel abroad DH insisted on ground floor room due to safety. As it happens the week we were away a little boy died after climbing over a balcony. Not in our hotel but it was in the news.

DonnaNoble Wed 13-Jul-11 21:57:17

Wow thanks for the swift replies. To answer a couple of questions, DB has a longstanding flying phobia so when the idea of a family holiday was suggested it was never an option. My parents are not loaded, but mum has been planning this huge holiday for ages. I can see that's it's going to be hard to please everyone though!

My boys are lively, boisterous and quite over excitable to be honest. Nothing unusual there i guess. It's generally hard to have a relaxing holiday with them. So far we have either been to cottages in England in the pouring rain, or twice we have been to a hotel in the Canaries. A villa with a pool would worry me too much until they are older and better at swimming. Generally though it's DH that panics more than me. I can see his point though the 3 year old is a particular muppet !

Anyway mum is bring the brochure and holiday details over tomorrow so I will report back then.

Hassled Wed 13-Jul-11 21:14:13

I think they'd have to work really really hard to go overboard. And presumably at those ages they're not going to be roaming free, are they? An adult will be with them.

BUT - if you're fretting and your DH is fretting, then it's not going to be much fun for you.

Re the "will not fly" - how cast in stone is that? Any room for manoeuvre? GP will prescribe something to keep him calm during the flight.

Other than that, looks like the shuttle to France and a drive/train to somewhere - could the rest of the family fly and you meet them wherever?

Georgimama Wed 13-Jul-11 21:13:38

I am amazed at the existence of people who apparently spend their lives gripped with fear that their children will go under train tracks, over the sides of ferries etc.

Lollyheart Wed 13-Jul-11 21:10:30

I doubt very much that that would happen, I understand stand the fear tho, I dread having to go on a train with my dcs, I worry the will fall on the tracks, but when we are getting on a train it's never as bad as I fear, does that make sense lol.

suzikettles Wed 13-Jul-11 21:05:17

I was worried about our swimming pool this holiday and then discovered that it's now the law for all pools in France to have alarms, plus we prepared ds (4) with ground rules about noone being allowed at the pool on their own and were lucky that he was more frightened by the idea of the alarm going off than he was curious about the water...

Can you contact the cruise line and ask about how safe it is for children/what precautions they have to make it impossible for there to be this sort of accident?

What other holidays do you go on? What risks exist with those (eg child falling out of a window)? Do you think a dc is more or less at risk? Why?

Sorry, that should read 18 months and 8!

suzikettles Wed 13-Jul-11 21:01:31

I think you owe it to your mum to explore this fear a bit further.

Is it likely? Is it even possible? Is there anything you can do to minimise the (even tiny) risk?

But, as a previous poster said, it's no more irrational than your brother's fear of flying...

We go transatlantic regularly with four children aged between 18 months and 2 and have never lost one overboard. In fact, allowing for the fact that the North Atlantic is choppier than most, none of our children could actually open the door to get out on deck, even I had trouble. Balconies are of a non child climbable height and they wouldn't fit through the railings.

Trust me, I wouldn't risk my little Houdini on a 7 day Atlantic crossing if there were any chance of her accidentally walking the plank.

could you not take a sleeper train over to the continent for example? orient express if they're loaded?? lol

or go away in this country? there are beautiful areas of the UK.

It's difficult, and I think your mum will have to accept that it's going to be very hard to please everyone tbh

the thing is, if there is even the slightest possiblity that a child could squeeze through railings/climb over stuff then it isn't worth it because you will just spend the entire time trailing around after them and worrying.

it's easy if you have one child, maybe even 2. but I know what it's like with 3 small boys and trying to keep an eye on ALL of them. it's certainly not going to be a relaxing holiday lol

i can really understand why your DH is concerned. As previous posters have said though, it may be that it really is impossible for them to get anywhere near the side, in which case you'd probably be just fine.
But if it's going to be a cause of anxiety then I'd maybe talk to them about other locations?

Mollyfloss Wed 13-Jul-11 20:55:39

It is highly unlikely they will go overboard but that won't stop you worrying so it won't be much of a holiday. We rented a house with a pool once and I spent the entire time worrying about my 2 year old (especially as the first day she went under for 2 seconds, whic visually was disturbing enough), When inside I checked the doors were locked every 2 seconds and when near the pool I could not relax at all. The results is I won't be renting a huse with a pool until my kids are fabulous swimmers (they are learning to swim on a weekly basis). The risks are obviously higher with a pool but you'll still probably worry too much and even if it is a bit irrational your Mum should understand your DH's fear. Couldn't you fly somewhere, let DB take the boat and meet them at the destination. Surely there is a way to make everyone happy. (How come your Mum isn't cheesed off at DB not willing to fly - how is his irrational fear acceptable and not your DH's?)

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