I've been a bit of a pratt & created my own Credit Crunch - & I can't see a quick fix

[Norton]

I had a bad year last year with the business

So we had a bit of debt

& DH is seriously ill so we decided to take DD to see the country he was born & grew up in

So we had a bit of debt

& as Dh is ill I have started not putting off stuff as we might not do it; if we don't do it now

So we have a bit of debt

But when you put it all together it's a hell of a lot of debt

Now if I cut back on all the spending it means if something happens to DH I will regret it (because of DD)

& if I don't it means we might go bust

& I am feeling a bit sorry for myself

[whyme2]

Oh dear, sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Sorry I haven't any advice but I'm sure someone helpful will be along shortly.

[Northernlurker]

What is the prognosis for your dh. How do you think this year will be for the business and what thihgs do you want to do as a family?

[Norton]

The Dr's won't really give a prognosis - he could go on for ages or he could go tomorrow (useful huh?)

The business shouldn't have a loss this year & will probably keep us ticking over

If we cut back a bit we can pay some off - but it odd little things, a meal out, concert tickets (only £8....but £8 each), going for a day out at a theme park - I just have to limit them I guess

Trying to make memories I guess

[Northernlurker]

Ok well first of all I'm very sorry you have to face losing your dh - must be beyond awful for you.

It sounds like you have some resources though with the business so you aren't going to be plunging yourselfves into a irretrievable situation. I think you do need to cut back a bit but you know life really is too short to be obsessive about every penny. Maybe think about ways to make memories that don't have such a high upfront cost. YOur dd will remember a day out at the seaside with a great picnic and then fish and chips just as much as she would a day out at a theme park.

YOu can't buy time though so enjoy yourselves now but do so with half an eye on the purse because if you get in really deep then worrying about that will eat your time.

I hope you have years and years and years with dh though.

[GothMummy]

Im so sorry. It seems like you have got into debt because of the best of reasons though.

I hope things improve and also to echo PP that you have many many years with DH.

[Norton]

I do find it hard to say no to either of them atm

I guess that is wrong - but it is very hard

I know I must be more careful but each time they ask it's only little bits of money - it just all adds up

I am writing everything down now so I can see what it is all going on - I am scared that we will struggle & that DD's last memories of her dad will be of being short of cash & not doing stuff together

[Northernlurker]

It's sensible to think about money but to be quite honest you sound to me like the sort of person who has a pretty constant idea of where you are financially and that's enough to keep you off the rocks. I think that maybe you are using the money debate as a coping mechanism. What you are facing is just massive and I don't think I could bear to give much of my brain space to it at any one time tbh. So we find other things to transfer our anxiety on to and I think for you it's money. That's ok to a certain extent, that's a coping mechanism but if it starts to take over you need to rein it back and maybe just give yourself a bit of time to think about the bigger picture for you and your family. Have you any support - any specialist nursing care for example - not for the physical side but for the mental wellbeing of you and dh?

[Norton]

TBH with what you have said & what the vicar said yesterday I think I am choosing to stress over the things I can control in order to absent myself from the things I can't control

I have to be stronger with them & limit the spending without cutting it all out & maybe I will consider taking a loan to minimise my stress atm - pay it all off gradually

I know that financially that isn't a good thing but it would give me time to come to terms with the future & learn to live with it

[Norton]

& I am likely to make it all worse as I am so stressed I need to reduce my hours at work which means less money

I think a consolidation loan is the way to go when the 0% runs out

[GothMummy]

How are you feeling now Norton?

Before you take out a consolidation loan I recommend talking to the Citizens Advice bureau - they deal a lot with people who get into a mess with debt and can advise you on the best way to go about this. Would hate to think of you spiralling into debt with different loans.

[Norton]

I have about £250 to pay off each month & about £9K of debt - I think that equates to about 4 yrs of loan

I could pay off more each month but at that level we can still have a life

Currently it is all on 0% until May - so I don't need to worry about it until April I guess

I will be careful as I am a bit of control fiend

[Mousey84]

Well, if it helps, if you can stay at 0%, £250pm should have £9k paid off in 3 years. As a rough guide, for every extra £25 pm you can pay off, you will clear the debt 3 months earlier.

Is £25 a big deal? Its a meal out, or trip to cinema+popcorn (well, depending on where you live). Swap for a shop bought pizza and a night in with a family movie and you have £25ish extra. Or look for kids clubs at cinema - our local ones are a variety of prices, from £1 per person to £3 per person.

Look out for deals on theme parks - sign up for newsletters for local ones.

What about starting a family scrapbook to do in front of a cosy fire this winter. Nice way to preserve great memories for the future and can be relatively cheap if you dont get too excited about buying specialist stuff.

[Norton]

I know what you mean but to pay off even the £250 I'll have to be careful - I have been limiting things to once or twice a month

I think I will wait until April & see how much I have paid off, then see where I go from there