Skint and single? How on earth do you manage dating?

[nkf]

I think that I might be ready to take the plunge back into the dating game or whatever it's called nowadays. Not going to be easy because I am not - ahem - particularly young. Or particularly glamorous, Or particularly anything but there you go. Still fancy giving it a go.

The money thing worries me. Going out more, buying better clothes, going on dates - it will require more money won't it?

How do you date on a budget? A small budget I might add.

[nkf]

Any ideas?

[MissPricklePants]

I am skint and single, and my answer is I don't date. Cannot afford a sitter, to go out etc so I just don't. Not the best advice to your OP but maybe somebody will have a better suggestion!

[nkf]

I hear you. Does it bother you?

[PigletJohn]

"How do you date on a budget? A small budget I might add"

dining out at the carvery. Steak night at Wetherspoons. Haunt the clearance basement at Debenhams. Romantic weekend away in a Travelodge during their discount week. Meeting people who are equally skint will prevent a clash of expectations.

meeting someone nice is harder than managing on a budget.

[MissPricklePants]

nkf it did bother me but it doesn't at the moment, I have been single since 2009 so used to it now.

[OverlyYappyAlways]

Yeah the lack of clothes is not a great help, I am a 2/3 date person, anymore than that and I am re-wearing clothes, thankfully I do not date often. I am on a dating break, I will collect clothes and save money for when I am ready again, or something

[dashoflime]

From my experience:

1. Invite equally skint male friend over to your house
   

1. Drink white lightening in front of telly
   

1. Fall into bed for sloppy drunk sex
   

1. Assess potential for relationship over tea and cornflakes the following day.
   

Two slight disclaimers:

Isn't suitable for proper grownups
Doesn't lead to very satisfying relationships

[nkf]

Thank you, Dash. Do you have the recipe for White Lightnings?

[dashoflime]

Oh my God!! Scrub White Lightning, its been discontinued!!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Lightning_(cider)

And I quote: "White Lightning was most commonly recognised by its distinctive blue bottle design, low price and high strength, making it popular with those wishing for alcoholic intoxication at a minimum price"

[dashoflime]

May I suggest instead

[nkf]

According to Wiki, "In Scotland, Buckfast is associated with drinkers who are prone to committing anti-social behaviour when drunk..."

Hmm. Maybe not.

[dashoflime]

Sorry nfk, I'm just joking

More seriously, I do think entertaining at home is the way to go

[nkf]

I was joking too. Feel weird about entertaining at home. Too domestic and all that.

[dashoflime]

Oops
Your too dry for me nfk. I like your style

[StuffezLaBouche]

Haha! Good thread :)
While feeling particularly low recently I invested £29.99 in a Match.com subscription. I am KICKING myself now as

a) I am beyond skint and £30 is a lot of money.
b) I have no clothes to wear so have been reluctant to get talking to anyone on there.

So not money well spent.

In my line of work it's fairly impossible to meet new, single men so I think I am destined to be single for the rest of time.

[Meglet]

I don't. XP was kicked out 4yrs ago and I barely even talk to men, let alone date them!

Kids, work and the gym / my sanity come first. I can't afford baby sitters and evenings out on top of that.

[OverlyYappyAlways]

Don't entertain them at home, it's a nightmare trying to get them out.

[nkf]

I won't be entertaining at home. I have children and I don't want to get into domestic stuff with a man. Been there.

[OverlyYappyAlways]

Oh no I never had them home when DS were there, actually not a bad idea then they would run...No seriously I am not one for 'oh this in uncle peter this week'

I stupidly thought wine + DVD meant wine + DVD, it doesn't.

[FlatCapAndAWhippet]

I dont date either, single with dd since 2009 and really cant see it ever changing. I dont mind, we're very happy. A good job really though as I cant afford to go out, pay baby sitters and buy new clothes.

Sorry - that doesnt really help you.

[HollaAtMeBaby]

I think a walk in the park with a coffee is a good first date. If you get to a second date, make the man pay

[iamonstrike]

I think it's better not to invite them home, it just gives out the wrong message. And I'd hate to be running around tidying up before a big date!

I have cut back on spending to be able to pay for babysitters - of course they're expensive but it's more important for me to have adult social time than anything else. I used Match.com and I think it gave me freedom to date a lot of men who I wouldn't otherwise have met. All of them have been happy to pick up the bill for dates - don't see that that's unfair as usually they have much more disposable income.

When you get to a more serious stage, you can negotiate sharing the cost of babysitting (most men are fine with this, since it would otherwise mean you'd struggle to go out) or you can have a few cheaper nights in. So the expensive bit of new clothes, babysitter etc is only during the early stages anyway - and I see it as an investment if it leads to a committed relationship, living together, shared expenses anyway.