quesion about what to do with a friend who is about to embark on assisted concepteion?

[NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess]

I have a really good friend who is about to start assisted conception using donor sperm.
she's very very excited, as is her partner and so am i. so excited i keep seeing things i'd like to get her/them as little good luck type pressies.
I'm just not sure if this could be seen as a bit presumptuous. i mean - what if it doesn't work - this time or next time or ever. (i'm such a pessimist)
but on the other hand i want her to know i care.
what do you think would be a suitable sort of good luck type gift? folic acid? socks? little vests in impossibly small sizes? or something neutral like a plant?

[TotalChaos]

books/DVDs?

[AllwaysDoingSomething]

Nigella, its great that your friend is able to talk openly about assisted conception and you're there for support. I'm currently going in the early stages of a Frozen Embryo Transfer cycle and a very dear friend sent me a good luck card wishing us every success. Knowing that she is rooting for me and will share my joy or pain helps. I would steer clear of anything baby related though. There will be plenty of time for you to buy baby items when she is expecting. Good luck to your friend.

[Madoldbird]

A voucher for a beauty treatment? I would think anything relaxing and de-stressing would be good. It's lovely that you want to show that you are thinking of them.

[WorzselMummage]

My mate god me a little card from clintons or somewhere, its credit card sized and goes in your wallet. It says on the 'hang in there' and then a lovely little poem. We've been ttc for ages and have been through the mill with a MMC and other stuff, it really cheered me up infact i look at it a lot when i am feeling down. Maybe you could get your mate something ilike that ?

[minster]

Oh god don't get anything baby related - beauty treatment vouchers are a good idea (or vouchers for a meal?). We got good luck cards & flowers when we had treatment, which was nice.

[nomoremagnolia]

Beauty treatments are a nice idea - just bear in mind that some things like a spa day might not be suitable once she starts the treatment (if it's IVF anyway) I had two pamper days (one a "relax before IVF" present, one a birthday present) and I had to squeeze them both in before starting IVF as clinic advised me not to go in hot sauna/jaccussi etc when doing treatment. However I know Gillydaffodil has been enjoying hot baths whilst preparing to do IUI (neither of us is allowed baths now we're 2ww-ing, hot or otherwise) so it might be worth checking what type of AC she's doing.

A lovely friend of mine (who I met on here - Ready) sent me some beautiful flowers when I got confirmation that I'd switched my system off and I was about to start the injections.

Your friend is lucky to have you to share it with Just let her talk about it when she wants to and talk about everything and anything else when she doesn't. Oh, and don't try to be funny/make light of it - when I mentioned frosties (frozen embryos) to my Mum she went off on one about what if you prefer coco pops? I think she was trying to make light of it but I was she wasn't listening/taking me seriously.

[NigellaTheUndomesticGoddess]

lovely ideas - thanks.

[MrsTittleMouse]

A card is really good, as she can read and re-read the message whenever she wants. I would also point out that she will be under a lot of pressure (from herself, if no-one else!) and so it's not a good idea to ask her how it's going every time you see her. She might just want to forget about it for a while. A neutral "how are you doing today?" is much better and she can just say "fine" and move onto other topics if she likes.