so if I was going to orchestrate an "accident" for baby3 how would I go about it?

[spaghettiarms]

I have a very regular - predictable cycle,
DH and I talked last week and although he says he couldn't agree to another baby if we had an accident he would obviously go with it and adore the child (his words not mine)
Having thought that I never would I am now considering orchestrating an accident. He will never agree to not use a condom. so how on earth can I do it?

I am aware that it is a devious question and the best way would be to gently convince him that it is a good idea but he wanted one child, we have two so three really would be hard for him to agree to.

any thoughts (good or bad - I can take it!)

[TalkroundupElf]

Hmm tricky one. How would your conscience feel knowing it wasn't a true accident? And would you come clean in the end?

[ladytophamhatt]

what would he do if he found out you'd tricked him?

I doubt he'dbe pleased....

IMO you're mad to even concider it.

[scorpio1]

i think you need more chats. having an 'accident' is awful.

if he says he would go with it and adore the child then you need to work on what scares him nd prove it will be fine.

you cant go round stealing sperm.

(something close to my heart - waited and fought DH for 18 mths for db3 - i respected him enough to not steal it. i now am 32 weeks and know i have his full support becuase he consented before conception).

You did say you could take the bad Good luck in your wish though.

[Rosa]

Sorry but I could not live with myself for lying to my dh for something like this..Now buying another pair of shoes from the housekeeping ( and saying I have had them for years ) is another matter !

[Lulumama]

i thikn it is a terrible idea and it will be hugely obvious to your DH if you suddenly had an accidental pregnancy a month or two after this conversation.

tricking someone into something as huge as having another child is horrible.

if he could be gently persuaded openly and honestly, then surely you should work on that rather than being decieitful

if he does not want more children it might be for reasons that will change in time or when your other DCs are older

talk ! you must communicate.. this is a terrible idea..

he will always suspect , i think...

[crokky]

spaghettiarms - I would try to talk to your DH to see why he doesn't actively want a third child and see if you can come to an agreement with him. If he is not totally against the idea, he may come round.

[ladytophamhatt]

Scorpio, it took me about 16 months to convince DH to have No#3 too. It was hard work but he changed his mind in the end
(he changed his mind on boxing day 2002 and I was PG before 2003 arrived)

[spaghettiarms]

I love you lot!

I know you are all right.. In my heart I know I cant do it, I also know that he isn't going to consent.. I guess I really need to work on me - and get used to the idea of no more babies.

I wouldn't be able to lie to him so if he even looked quizzicaly (sp?) at me I would end up telling him and he would be so disappointed with me.

I guess it is in Someone highers hands and if we are meant to have another baby then it will happen without me having to lie. IYKWIM

Thanks again

[scorpio1]

took me 6 months to conceive db3 so even more hard for me, iyswim? DH told me in Woolies he had changed his mind i couldn't do it without him though - i needed his sperm, yes, but more so HIM and his support.

How did you get him to have 4 then??

[ladytophamhatt]

ha...Ds4 was an accident.

a real one though

[ladytophamhatt]

he's our surprise bonus baby

[spaghettiarms]

OOhh I would like one of those

[scorpio1]

hee hee LTH i've never had one of those...think i may have had enough of being pg for a while now though!

[missmama]

DH and I have agreed that we are not trying for a baby......
just that we are doing nothing to stop one.

[spaghettiarms]

MissMama, I wish that I could get Dh to agree to that, he hit lucky first month trying with DS2 and that wasn't with alot of action iykwim, so he is under the impression he has "supersperm"

Good luck hope you hit the jackpot soon

[mears]

My DH did not want to go for baby number 4. I said fine, no sex then. He soon changed his mind

[missmama]

TBH spaghettiarms I have friends with newborn babies and they worked on DH far more than I did. Every time he walked into a room at one point somebody put a fluffy bundle into his arms

[spaghettiarms]

Ooh Good idea MissMama... neighbour has a 7 week old...

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

Don't do it

[Heathcliffscathy]

i honestly think that if a bloke came on here posting the same thing as the OP he would be totally and utterly eviscerated and his wife advised to leave him.

WTF kind of marriage do you have that you would even think about decieving him over something so massive.

despicable.

[spaghettiarms]

sophable if you read the thread you will realise that we have a great marriage and the reality is that I couldn't do it, it just crosses my mind.

[Heathcliffscathy]

glad to hear it.

[yesmynameisigglepiggle]

needles in the condoms then put them back in the drawer before he uses them. I must be devious, I would be tempted to do it. That said I am the one who carries and feeds and looks after the babies.

[amamess]

Go4 it!!

[scorpio1]

Go for what - lying & deception? making someone be a parent???