Sacred to concieve after MC

[childmindersam]

OK i know there are lots of threads but i need advice.

DH and i had been ttc since i came of the injection in FEB 2003. In June the doctor agreed to do tests to find out if their were any problems. I had a blood test and results said i was ovulating fine and hormones good. Then i found out i was pregnant!!!!! Unfortunatley i had a MC at 7 weeks whilst on holiday. Conincidentally i lost the baby on the day my son was born 4 years earlier which made it harder to deal with! Thought id be ok to try again str8 away and the doctors agreed so did but when my af was 4 days late i panicked and was relieved when it arrived. My dh didnt understand when i told him i wasnt ready to try again (he cried alot after th mc and i didnt so think he got it out of his system whereas i hadnt) I think my dh took it personnally as now i feel ready to try again this month and he is being abit distant about it. Tried to seduce him etc and talked about it and he says he wants a baby too but is worried im still not ready.

Sorry its long but needed to give whole story.

What should i do. Im not 100% certain im really ready and am sure that if i did get pregnant id spend the first 12 weeks scared to move etc... Not sure how i would cope with a 2nd mc.

Any advice?

[suzywong]

First of all - no earthly reason why you should have a second mc, but as I know, you can't get that thought out of your head for first 12 weeks. You'll just be in the same boat as everyone else.

Am I right in thinking it's about 3 months since you had the mc? In terms of your body and your womb being ready to receive another embryo, you should be about right to ttc on the fourth cycle/month.

I can understand DH not being on the same wavelength as you, they handle these things very very differently. IME it is better to resume your sex life first rather than resume baby making, seems to take the pressure of all concerned emotionally and performance wise. (just to give you some background, I had a mc at 12 weeks, pulled my hair out and made ttc a chore not a pleasure for 4 months and then on the fifth month we just didn't 'go' for it and ended up conceiving the first of our two DS's)

HTH

[marthamoo]

You will be scared when you conceive again - I'm afraid there's just no way around that I miscarried my second pregnancy at 8 weeks after 2 years of ttc - and when I had my next positive pg test I sat on the bathroom floor and sobbed at the thought of going through a m/c again. I worried myself sick 'til I got to 12 weeks (and never really relaxed at all - I don't think you ever do when you've had an unhappy outcome to a pregnancy). But I made it - ds2 is almost 3 now, and he was absolutely worth the worry and the stress.

Agree with suzy, just leave it (as far as you can) to chance and see what happens (though make sure you are taking your folic acid!) One miscarriage doesn't mean you will have another.

If you feel you are still too scared, then leave it for a while. After my m/c I couldn't face trying again straight away so I had a 6 month break. It did take some of the immediate pressure off but, tbh, made it no easier once we did start trying again.

Good luck.

[childmindersam]

thanks for the advice. I spose no matter when i concieve i will still be scared of having another m/c

[Quackers]

Hi there, there is a lot info about this and many of have really encouraging stories to tell you. Just to give you a couple of facts which do sometimes help in this situation. The chances of having a single m/c are about 25%, THE CHANCES OF HAVING 2 IN A ROW ARE 5% AND CHANCES OF 3 IN A ROW ARE 1%. Does this help? I had 2 in a orw and it was absolutley awful. I wanted to go ahead immediately but DH was not ready to loose another. I pushed and got pg and we lost again. The third time I got pg and bled at 8 weeks and she is here today , 11 weeks old. NEVER give up. It is VERy tough and I know how hard this bit is. I had bleeding problems after each m/c but still managed to get pg and I carried to term this time. I am now starting to look forward to sex again, rather than baby making. I hope this doesn;t come accross as smug at all, but I know at this point I wnated to hear positive stories and life on the other side. It took over my life. I wish you the very best of luck. You obviously can get pg and every pgcy is unique and deserves your 100% positivity. xxxxx Try the Lesley Regan book When a m/c appens, it's great and you will feel MUCH more positive after reading it.

[childmindersam]

thankyou so much for your story! It does give me hope and im glad you had a happy ending!
Think my dh and i will have a chat tonight!

[hana]

childmindersam,
I have had 3 losses - one before dd (now 3) was born. We waited 3 months to ttc which is what the GP and other doctors advised at the time. Got preg a few months after waiting 3 months - that was our dd. Last summer I lost a baby in July and just waited a couple of cycles to start trying again - got pregnant in Sept but m/c at 8 weeks. Was devestated and know now that it wasn't long enough.
You will know when you are ready to try again and your dh also has to feel the same way. Some people are ready before others - it's all different. I hope when you have your chat tonight you come up with your decisions - good luck whatever it is!
I am pregnant again, 7 months now. So there are good stories out there like Quacks has said!
Lots of luck.

[Quackers]

How was your chat? How do you feel tody?

Hi HANA!!!!!!!!!!!!