Choose the sex of your baby?

[SusanL]

Hi there, this is my first posting. I have two wonderful boys but need to have another baby, hormones are racing and the husband has agreed..but I would love to have a girl. Have read books,taken calcuim and magnesuim to alter my ph and have signed onto an American website which sent me four days a month I can have sex on to ensure I conceive a girl, well a 97% success rate! Any advice for me out there. Thank you

[Bambiraptor]

Hi SusanL,
The only advice I can think of is 'Good luck'
I hope you didn't have to pay for the dates, as to be honest it sounds a bit strange.
I hope you get your girl though.
If you did have to pay will you get your money back if you have a boy?

[SusanL]

They offered a 200% refund if it doesn't work. The web-site is www.baby-gender-selection-program.com. I'd love to hear if anyone has used it or indeed any tips on swinging the odds on making a girl. Apparently girl sperm lasts longer and swims slower so its best if I create an acidic environment, thus the change in diet! Amazing stuff, taking me back to school and my science lessons.

[whyohwhyohwhy]

I'm sorry, but am I the only one that finds this distasteful?

Why can't people just be happy with the beautiful babies they are blessed with, rather than having a gender preference. It's very sad.

[wannaBe]

sounds like a load of crap to me and tbh I don't agree with gender selection under any circumstances apart from gender specific disabilities such as muscular distrophy.

And just because they offer a refund doesn't mean they're legitimate. they'll probably be gone in 9 months when you've had your baby so you can kiss good-bye to your money. how much was it out of interest?

[wannaBe]

whyohwhyohwhy agree totally.

My mum used to work for a doctors surgery, and she was telling me once of a couple that had come into the surgery wanting a sexing scan. They wanted a boy, and if it wasn't a boy they wanted a termination, and they wanted the nhs to pay for it. was and that people can be so selfish.

Obviously secretly hoping for one gender is one thing, but wanting gender selection is quite another imo

[barbamama]

But she's not doing gender selection is she - just trying to increase the odds one way or the other naturally. I don't see what is wrong with that as long as you don't get hung up on it or treat a boy baby any differently if that's what you end up with.

The trick is to not have sex right at ovulation but a couple of days before so that the sperm that fertilizes the egg is more likely to be a female one.

[RubySlippers]

you can try all this stuff, but i don't think having a girl can be guaranteed by any means

[whyohwhyohwhy]

gender preference is worrying. if you feel strongly about one gender over the other, enough to try different methods, pay for advice, change your diet etc to get one gender over another, then if it doesn't work, there will be disappointment.

There should NEVER be disappointment over the gender of a baby. It's sad

[whyohwhyohwhy]

wannabe, that is awful about that couple wanting a termination if it was not a boy. this whole gender preference saddens me.

[sherbert]

SusanL , I have no idea whether this method will work. I have heard that altering Ph can make a difference and that there are certain dates on which preovulation that is it is more likely to concieve a girl.

By the way, you might find you get a number of negative responses on your desire to 'choose the gender' but I am with you all the way. I have two wonderful boys whom I love to death, but if i could guarantee a girl I would have another one tomorrow.
Good luck

[barbamama]

It's human nature to have preferences - doesn't mean you will necessarily be devastatated if your preference doesn't work out. I think that is very different from actual gender selection (pre-implantation genetic diagnosis) and cultural extremes where babies would be terminated for being the "wrong" sex. They are very extreme cases and pretty rare in this country - I don't think it is fair to tar the OP with that brush as that is not what she was saying at all. I personally don't have a gender pref and have been v happy to get 2 boys, but I probably would try and influence towards a girl next time just to try out the other flavour so to speak - I would in no way care or be upset if it was a boy though. If you go out to buy new curtains you will have a preference for the colour you fancy to match your sofas maybe - doesn't mean you are going to start tearing the shop apart if they don't have the right colour!

[whyohwhyohwhy]

Comparing soft furnishings and babies... Now I've heard it all.

If I wanted a specific pair of curtains... and when I got to the shop, they didn't have the ones I wanted, I would be disappointed. I would probably buy a different pair, and every time I opened and closed those curtains, I would think about the pair I wanted but couldn't have.

If that is the comparison, then I stand by my thinking that having a gender preference is sad.

[potoroo]

SusanL, try looking for info on the Billings Method. Its a way of working out your own cycle to predict ovulation and can be used as a contraceptive or to get pregnant.

(It is quite technical and you have to map your cycle of a few months but it apparently has a very high success rate if it is used properly).

One of the findings was that generally speaking if you want to conceive a girl have sex a few days prior to ovulation, and for a boy at the time of ovulation. Basically 'girl' sperm last longer and 'boy' sperm swim faster. Fairly high success rate - 90% or something.

BUT there is absolutely no guarentee because there is no way of knowing because you can't know what your DH's sperm are like IYSWIM.

So you have to be sure you want another baby before proceeding because it could still be a boy....

[barbamama]

And apparently there are some men that have a disproportionate amount of one gender sperm or the other so as the previous poster said, even if you follow the timing / ovulation method there are of course no guarantees - all you are doing is attempting to influence it in one direction or the other. there is also some research about making your vaginal mucous more unfavourable to the passage of sperm which would also have the effect of making it more likely for a bigger, stronger female sperm to get through. You would need to check but i think it was something to do with the pH and eating lots of dairy food.

Of course you have to remember that both these methods of swaying towards a girl are actually discouraging conception as a whole so you may find it takes longer to get pregnant - I wouldn't recommend it if you have any sort of fertility issues or want to get pg quite quickly. It took me a long time to concieve the first time and by the second time (quick) I had become very adept at timing with ovulation so it makes sense that I had 2 boys as both were conceived bang on ovulation.

[barbamama]

And by the way, the point I was making about the soft furnishings was that for some people, gender preference is not a big deal, just something they fancy trying. I get a bit fed up of people criticising on these posts about how terrible it is to have a preference - it doesn't necessarily mean you would be devastated and not love a baby of one gender, of course the most important thing is a healthy, happy baby. Having had a mc before ds1 that is why I, personally, don't really have a gender preference. But I understand why others do.

[SusanL]

Thank you for your messages and tips. I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to sway the odds of conceiving a baby girl, obviously! I adore my children and will love my third child just as much as the other two regardless of his/her sex. Over the past three years I have had two miscarriages and I appreciate more than ever that just carrying a healthy baby to term is every woman's dream. However I'll keep you posted as my "girl" dates are next week!

[debinaustria]

I also have 2 boys and if I could sway it naturally to have a girl this time it would be fantastic but I'm 38, and this I feel is a now or never situation so I'm not intending on getting too hung up on it. I'd love to hear about how you get on next week!

[FlameParakeet]

[SusanL]

I paid about twenty five quid for dates, ph strips and regular news letters. My "girl" dates started yesterday and hubby went out on a works leaving do and came home a bit worse for wear so not a great start! Never mind, three more girls days left!

[Tigger13]

Well Done SusanL, seems lots of unfair critism about this. I also have two goregous boys who are my world. My dh and I have always talked about having 3 children if we can afford it, we can't really but with DS1 starting school soon we have decided to go for it (wink)

Anyway we're doing the ovulation thing to see if we could have a girl next time, not bothering with pH thing as I'm to lazy but charting and using LH strips. We're not doing this for any other reason other than we want another baby and if we can swing the balance and maybe have a girl that will be great, if it doesn't work and we have a boy thats whats meant to be! (grin)

I love boys and can't really see myself with a girl but in a very rugby house it would be nice to have a girl.

So good for you SusanL and please post to say how you get on.

[urghhh]

i'm with you, SusanL but would never have paid for it...thats someone taking advantage of you IMO. but anyway...

aside: find it interesting that the support for gender preference thing (on this thread so far, anyway!) has all been about mothers of boys wanting a girl next time. wonder if whyowhy has a girl already ...

[rozzyraspberry]

I too have no problems with people stating a preference for gender. I have two fantastic boys and am currenty pregnant with dc3. Would be very surprised if it's a girl as I've always thought if we had another it would be a boy but will be thrilled with either. Just hoping for a healthy baby like all other pregnant mums out there.

I do have a problem with these sites charging money claiming they can provide 95% accuracy on gender selection. As far as I'm aware the dates they provide you with are standard dates for all ie not tailored round individuals ovulation. So I can't see how this can sway gender. Also op said they would get a refund if they didn't get a girl - how could you prove you followed the plan properly. They could just say you must not have followed the proper dates. It seems like these sites are taking advantage IMO.

Good luck to op anyway.