Anyone else planning quite far ahead?

[Cosmogirl]

Hi,

I'm a new member to MN. I'm turning 25 later this year and have been married for over two years but with blokie for seven years.
Basically am thinking of TTC towards end of next year after I turn 26. I know this is very far in advance but am bit of an over-organised type!
I will have been married almost 4 years by then and with partner for well over eight but still feel worried about whether it will be the "right time".....Any thoughts? Or even better anyone in a similar situation?
xx

[burek]

there is never the perfect time but once baby arrives you will know it was meant to be, whether you plan years ahead or have a 'special surprise'. You'll love it either way, I'm sure. Good luck and welcome to mumsnet.

[Cosmogirl]

Thanks Burek. I've heard and read so many times that there isn't a perfect time to have a baby but for some reason I still keep obsessing about whether I should ttc at 26 or 27 or 31 etc etc... I guess I am overthinking the issue, which I have a habit of doing.
I am definitely starting to feel broody though and it is something which wasn't in my mind a few months back.

[burek]

can't talk for anyone else but I spent a long time thinking about the big when and feeling broody. It's possible that it comes of reaching a certain age and mother nature kicks in, and also from being in a long term relationship and you start thinking of the next steps for you as a couple. It will change your life though so be warned!

[AskABusyPerson]

If you feel broody and can imagine your life being turned upside down by the most amazing thing ever to be created then I'd say you're ready!

Says the woman who fell pregnant in Dec 01 having just booked the Orient Express honeymoon for the following September...oops! Up to last November I had maintained I didn't want another child but then started to imagine what it would be like with another, gazed at pregnant women and newborn babies with a 'yes please' in my thoughts....so now we're going for No.2!

I too am a bit of an over-organiser (well, apart from the blip in Dec 01!!!) and have already been admonished by dh for being to scientific about ttc (best days, avoiding soya (apparently not sperm friendly and I'm vegan so eat tonnes of it!) etc) - he's getting a bit stressed out by it all so I'm now not talking about it to him (thank god for mumsnet!) and will just jump on him when I know it's the right days!! He's not great with medical stuff - not sure to this day how he survived long and arduous labour of dd!

Good luck! Relax and enjoy ttc when you start!

[EachPeachPearPlum]

Hi Cosmogirl,

I'm in a similar situation to you in that I've just turned 25 and have been married for 2 and a half years and I've been planning starting TTC this spring/summer since last year. This was kind of based on a house move, but also my DH was not really feeling ready 6 months ago. Anyway I came off the pill in January to give my body time to recover and I started taking vitamins and folic acid but the house move has been delayed a bit so it's all been quite stressful. I think planning too far in advance has made the last few months a bit difficult, but partly because I'm desperate for a baby and DH isn't so it doesn't sound like you're in that boat. Anyway we are probably starting trying next month .

I think some people seem to just know it's the right time and others feel like there isn't going to be a perfect time but they don't want to leave it too late and it's not a bad time IYSWIM.

Hope this helps - I think the main thing is that you and DH can agree on it and are aiming for the same thing, so if it helps you to discuss/plan this far in advance then it must be a good thing

[potoroo]

We planned a few years in advance so that we could get in the last few bits of non-baby friendly travel that we really wanted to do.
(There is still lots of baby unfriendly travel we want to do - but after the DCs leave home).

Be warned though - it happened first go for us (TTC) so make sure you use other contraception once you come off the pill

[Cosmogirl]

I too think I will come off the pill quite a few months before we TTC. I have been on it since I was 17 so I would feel better to have a few months of getting periods back to normal. I know a lot of women come straight off it and try but perhaps this is why some are disappointed at first. If you get used to knowing you cycle and recognising when you are ovulating it has got to increase your chances of getting a positive result. Good luck with TTC this year EachPeachPearPlum. I think we are in the minority planning these things so far ahead. Most seem to just go for it but I'm just not that kind of person. I want to make sure financially, emotionally and physically that DH and I both feel ready. x

[EachPeachPearPlum]

Thanks CG, and good luck to you for next year!

[throgmorton]

Burek - 'change your life'... I didnt even RECOGNISE my life when I had ds

Cosmogirl - I have worked outt hat optimum time for me TTC no2 will be between Spring-Autumn 2009 so yes plans are in the offing

[Cosmogirl]

Hi throgmorton, I'm glad to hear someone else on MN is planning further ahead than me! Time goes so scarily fast though that I'm sure it will creep up on us quicker than we think. x

[suss]

just be careful most of my friends who thought it would take months to conceive have been taken by surprise. Equally though it you do try now or next year and you do find you have problems you have youth and time on your side. Whatever happens its always the right time!

[mangojuice]

We planned our 1st child well in advance too, definitely a good thing in my opinion. It gave us chance to buy a bigger house, pay off our credit cards etc etc so when we did conceive things were pretty organised.

I was 25 when I fell pregnant, we now have two children. I took folic acid for a year beforehand and followed the advice in Zita West's Fetility and Conception book, and fell pg straight away.

It's definitley worth sorting your finances out beforehand, it has made a massive difference for us and I can be now be at home with the children until they go to school. Oh, and have one last big holiday, that's the one thing we wish we had done!

[Cosmogirl]

Suss - yea, I think that 26 seems a good age to start trying and my DH will be a few months away from 30 then so a good age for him as well. We both joined the gym recently so trying to get fitter and get him to cut down on alcohol in preparation for next year! It would be great if we fell straight away but I am prepared for the fact that it may take a few months.

Mangojuice - I hadn't heard about taking folic acid a year before TTC. What is the thinking behind this? I'm a bit naive about the folic acid thing....does it have any side-effects?

[mangojuice]

Tbh I don't think there's any real benefit to it, I think it just made me feel like we were preparing if you know what I mean!! (And I wasn't on the pill at the time so it was just in case)I think a healthy lifestyle in advance has benefits though

[EachPeachPearPlum]

I think folic acid reduces the risk of birth defects. My doctor recommended taking it for 3 months before starting TTC and then the first 3 months of pregnancy, but I'm sure taking it for longer doesn't hurt. I've been taking it for 5 months now as we didn't know exactly when we were going to start trying.