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Conception

Any older mums had a successful pregnancy after 2 mmcs??

32 replies

bearsmom · 21/05/2007 17:27

I'm 42 and have just had my second missed miscarriage in less than twelve months. I really thought the one I had last year was a one-off but both babies died at 7 weeks so a pattern seems to be developing. With the mmc last year I found out the baby had died at a scan at 10 weeks and had the actual mc the following week, and with this one I found out at a scan last week when I should have been 9 weeks pg and I'm now waiting for the pregnancy to mc naturally as I don't want to take the pills or have a D&C if I can help it.
Are there any older mums reading this who had a successful pregnancy after mmcs? Did you try anything in particular to maintain the pregnancy? (I don't smoke, didn't drink during the pg, I eat healthily and take my folic acid and multivits). I have a ds and have read that women who have sons as their first child tend to have more mcs than those who have girls. Has anyone had the immunoglobulin injections I've read about to try and combat this? Sorry, I'm probably clutching at straws here, and perhaps, as the radiographer suggested, I'm too old, but I don't want ds to be an only and want to do anything I can to make our next try successful (have never had any problem getting pg, it's staying pg that seems to be the problem). Thanks for reading.

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feedmenow · 21/05/2007 17:31

I'm afraid I have no idea, but just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss and that I hope someone knowledgable comes along soon to offer some advice.

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bearsmom · 21/05/2007 18:01

Thanks feedmenow. MN has been a great help to me, only discovered it a few months ago, and wish I'd known about it last year.

Hoping someone out there has some good advice/inspiring stories for me ...

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Nightynight · 21/05/2007 18:14

I was 36 when dd2 was born, after 2 miscarriages in less than a year, similar to yours.

after 2 mc's it is hard to believe that you will ever have another baby, but many women have done - good luck.

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Muminfife · 21/05/2007 18:19

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fryalot · 21/05/2007 18:24

I had 2 mcs after dd1.

I now have 3 lovely children, albeit with a ten year age gap between numbers 1 and 2.

I was 34 when I had dd1 and 36 when I had ds.

I wish you the very very best of luck

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bearsmom · 22/05/2007 09:09

Thanks to all of you for posting, it's good to know that having 2 consecutive mcs doesn't mean I'll never carry another baby to term and your stories have left me feeling much more positive about trying again.

Muminfife - congratulations! All the best with the birth.

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VictorVictoria · 22/05/2007 09:13

Hi bearsmom

I am in exactly the same position as you. I am 39, one DS who is 23 months and have had two miscarriages in the last 6 months.

I am lucky enough to have Lesley Regan as my consultant who assures me that it is very unlikely to be the start of a current miscarriage problem given that I have carried a successful pregnancy to term. Its just that the olser you are, the chance of miscarriage increases. Afriend of mine has just had a baby aged 42 after 3 miscarriages. she had all the tests and it was concluded that there was nothing wrong except her age.
Good luck and never give up hope

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yaddayah · 22/05/2007 09:22

bearsmom,sorry for your losses, not me but a friend (aged 39)i know had 6 similar m/c all between 6 and 9 weeks, she had the immuno injections after an admittedly stressfull pregnancy (on bed rest etc) she had a healthy baby girl last year

Wishing you every success

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SJLTM · 22/05/2007 09:44

Hi bearsmom,
In my 20's I had 3 babies in 4 1/2 years.
Then in my 30's with a new partner had 2 mcs close together and then a another baby at 32.
After another mcs at 38 had my last baby at nearly 39 !!
It was suggested that maybe a new partner was the reason for the mcs but I'm not sure, perhaps it was an age thing. Sorry for your loss, don't give up. Its easy to say don't worry but as a also spotted with the last one I never actually believed I would have her until I held her !! iykwim.

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plummymummy · 22/05/2007 10:01

Hi bearsmum, just wanted to say sorry for your losses. I wish I could put the clock forward and tell you that I have had a successful pg after m/c but I am only 4.5 weeks into the pregnancy. Very interesting that you say m/c more common after having a boy - where did you hear/read that as I would be interested to find out more about it. I had ds when I was 32 then had 2 m/c last year (aged 33, then 34)and am now pregnant again. Like you, I have always conceived easily, though I think the last m/c messed about with my fertility a bit and it took 3 mths to get pg this time. Some encouraging tales here so hope you feel reassured. I lost mine around 7 weeks too - I think that stage is a milestone for many women in their pgs after m/c. I hope you go on to have a successful pregnancy.

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Juicylucytoo · 22/05/2007 10:08

Bearsmom. I had mmc + ERPC at 6 weeks when 38 nearly 39. Fell pg again 4 months later at 39 and am now expecting my baby any day (will be 40 next week).

You're not too old. It does get harder for our bodies as we get older, but it is not impossible. Radiographer is a git for saying that. It's not like we think we're 20 and don't know that our age doesn't help.

Don't give up.

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katelyle · 22/05/2007 10:21

Hi. I miscarried at 37, had dd at 38, miscarried again at 42 and had ds at 43. Not the same pattern as you, I know but I did have a healthy baby at 43, so it does happen. I didn't do anything special, but I think I did go into "buddhist mode" and tried to be as accepting as possible of whatever happened. Very hard, I know, and my thoughts are with you.

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DaisysGotABigBump · 22/05/2007 10:35

hi Bearsmom....sorry you're in this awful position at the moment, and I take my hat off to you for sounding so brave about it all

I had DS when I was 33, then had a MC at 11 weeks in Nov 05 (age 36) and another one at six weeks in April 06 (age37). I'm now 37 weeks pg and although its been a stressful pg and I've not been terrbily well, all seems well with bub. I'm now 38.

Like you, getting pg hasn't been the issue and it always happened the first month of trying, but I wasn't given any explantion of the mcs other than "one of those things".

I hope you have the strength to try again, and if you do get pregnant, there's a fantastic support thread on here for women who are pg after successive MCs.

Wishing you strength for getting through the next few weeks and Good Luck for the future

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DaisysGotABigBump · 22/05/2007 10:36

PS...my SIL had her No. 3 at age 42 and my cousing had her first (after being told she'd never have children) at 45. so it can and does happen!!

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evenhope · 22/05/2007 11:08

I had exactly the same pattern as you. I had 2 missed m/c, one at 11 weeks in August 2005 and the next at 7 weeks in Feb/March 2006. I then conceived again in June 2006 at the age of 43 and my 10 week old DD is bouncing on my knee as I type I will be 44 next week.

I didn't take vits, or folic acid (superstition because I had taken it during the 2 lost pgs) and my previous 3 kids are all boys.

HTH good luck.

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bearsmom · 22/05/2007 15:33

Thank you all so much for telling me your experiences. I've gone from thinking there's no hope for me to at least knowing that my age and mc history don't make it impossible that I could have another baby. And the thought of all your against-the-odds babies is making me smile.

VV - So sorry about your recent mcs and I really hope you have good news. From all I've read/seen Lesley Regan is amazing and very successful. She deserves a medal for all the good work she's done.

Plummymummy - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that all goes well this time. I found the study on mums who have boys first having more subsequent miscarriages by Googling "antibodies after giving birth to a boy" and this is one of the sites I came up with new scientist There are lots of other sites but they all seem to be reporting the same study.

Juicylucy and Daisy - great news! hope all goes well when you give birth.

Thank you all again.

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plummymummy · 22/05/2007 16:19

Thank you. I read the article. Very interesting. Isn't it amazing after all these years that they're only finding these things out now! Glad to hear that you are feeling more positive

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karma · 22/05/2007 21:03

Just wanted to say that these stories have reassured me as I've just had my second early mc in 4mths. I am 38 and have two ds 4.5yrs and 2yrs. First mc in feb at 5 weeks, the second on sunday at just under 5 weeks. Things have felt really bleak these last few days, but reading these stories have given me some hope. I hope bearsmom that things work out for you. It's good to hear some success stories.

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KristinaM · 22/05/2007 21:08

I've only had one mc but I had healthy full term babies at 42 and 43. And I fell pg straihgt away as well. So the radiographer is a cheeky cow you are NOT too old. Good luck

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plummymummy · 22/05/2007 22:04

So sorry to hear of your losses Karma. Hope you conceive again soon.

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Surfermum · 22/05/2007 22:09

I was 41 when I had dd, bearsmom. I'd had 2 mcs prior to that at 9 weeks and 5 weeks. I don't think I did anything different 3rd time round though, so nothing I can advise you to do. Good luck.

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margoandjerry · 22/05/2007 22:18

I had two mcs and a termination at 16 weeks for genetic abnormalities so I was also feeling like you - I'm too old, I can't carry a child, a pattern is forming etc etc.

However, I had all the testing and nothing really came up and less than a year after the termination I finally gave birth to a healthy baby.

I know it's hard to take comfort but I always thought it was better to be in my position (conceiving but not sustaining a pg) than not conceiving at all. I took the fact that I seemed to get pregnant easily as some kind of good sign. And the same applies to you. I really, genuinely think it's easier to treat mc than unexplained infertility and for the vast majority of mcs they are not "caused" by anything specific but are just one of those things and you just need to keep trying for your turn.

On my down moments, I convinced myself that with my 3 out of 3 failure rate, I would never get to be a mother. Now I can see that that was rubbish - everything was in place and it just took time. Take heart. x

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macmama73 · 22/05/2007 22:23

I am sorry for your loss.

I had 2 mc before falling pregnant with dd, one at 8 weeks and one at 11 weeks, when I was 28/29. I went on to have 2 normal pregnancies, my kids are now 5 and almost 3.

I am pretty sure that there is nothing you can do to maintain the pregnancy. I took hormones during the first two pregnancies to help stop the bleeding and it didn't make any difference. In fact, the first time my doc signed me off work and I spent over a week in bed.

I also wouldn't say that a pattern is developing, it is not extremely unusual to have 2 mc. The docs here said that they wouldn't investigate or do any test unless I miscarried 3 times as many women then go on to have a normal pregnancy after 2 mc.

Good luck!

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Uki · 23/05/2007 00:26

Hi bearsmum

sorry for your mmc's

I just want to echo what others say, I've had 3 mmc's all about 7.5 weeks, and also have had ds in between, from my studies I'm not convinced by m/c after a boy being likely it's a very minimal study and not that great a pecentage really.

I can't really say my age was a reason, I'm 32 now, but even though your chances of m/c go up. I'm pretty sure you have the ability to carry another baby, I have so many older friends that have had no m/c's so some say it's just abd luck.

I would try and push for a simple blood test to check for thrombophilia, hugh's syndrome etc. Just to rule it out. I had this after two and again after 3rd, and things changed so i am now pg but on asprin. I really think it can help for 2 or more m/c's i think my problem is blood doesn't flow too well, an important thing if pg is to progress after 7 weeks.

I can understand you not wanting a d&c, although could get hard waiting, so be open. i didn't start m/c till 12 weeks with last one, my body took longer to realize not pg.

Anyway hope you are ok, and can join us on the pg after m/c thread soon.

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macmama73 · 23/05/2007 00:50

Just wanted to add that D&C is something that I found less traumatic than the thought of waiting weeks for my body to realise that the pregnancy was over.

I live in Germany and D&Cs are the prefered treatment, my doctor said that otherwise the womb could get infected. I realise now that this is obviously not a common thing to happen, otherwise more British women would have had problems.

Although it was horrible, it was over quickly. The 2nd time it was done in the outpatients clinic so I was able to go home in the evening. It helped me grieve and then I could put it behind me.

Funny, I haven't thought about it in ages, but writing it down is making me sad. I remember making them give me a 2nd scan before I would let the operate, just in case the 2 docs who had scanned me before had made a mistake. It was difficult letting go.

But as I said earlier, I did go on and have 2 lovely healthy children. Sometimes I think that although it was horrible, it makes me appreciate my dcs more, having gone through that.

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