Feeling scared and lonely =(

[BettySpaghetti514]

I'm already a mum of one, he's 5 years old, we live together and I'm expecting my second child - a daughter - in October with my partner who lives nearby and has two older children aged 12 and 14 (they live with mum).

I have post traumatic stress disorder and have problems with anxiety and with pregnancy fuelling it all the more it's becoming difficult to remain positive!

I've started experiencing difficulty leaving home other than to do certain thing like nip to the shop at the bottom of the road, take my son to school (not even that now - it's the holidays, yay!) or go to the hospital and straight back - It feels rather pathetic really =(

have tried talking to my other half about alsorts in the couple of years we have been together and he is trying in his own way but I feel small, useless, stupid and embarraced by everything I want to talk to him about, pregnancy seems to be helping the resurfacing of some old demons too which has been really hard.

Terrified about the birth, getting support and understanding from my partner, being able to cope emotionally, oh yeah and we're looking for a new house to move into aswel....why not??!

Feeling lost, dazed and confused....

Is this normal??

[Blue2014]

I don't have kids yet so can't comment on that but if you are feeling this way maybe ask your GP for a referral for therapy? Waiting lists shouldn't be that long and some trusts will prioritise you if you have young kids etc.

In the meantime set small goals for yourself and work to achieve them, be aware that anxiety will have you worry about all kinds of nasty stuff that will never happen. When you feel awful, take a deep breathe, focus on relaxing your body, count your breathe in and out for a few mins. You are not small or useless, if you have PTSD it's beause you survived something - you survived - that makes you pretty incrediable, no?

Getting the right support is really important, you are worth looking after

[bessie84]

aaahh bless you, hope your holding up, i have this too (but not (yet) pregnant again)

please speak to your midwife and ask for help, as you know from experience, this may get worse after the baby arrives. xx

[BettySpaghetti514]

Don't get online much so sorry if my reply is a little late - thankyou xxx

I'm sort of floating through it but feel isolated and rather 'in a bubble', I feel over empathic to the point where I'v been actively avoiding certain conversations and situations just in case it overwhealms me - totally scared of breaking down in front of people which ironically feeds the feeling and makes it wose if it does happen!

My other half is trying in his own way, does a bit more around the house and such, goes out with the kids and asks me whats wrong but everytime I try to open my mouth I a.freeze up as everything seems to suddenly become massively magnified and makes me want to hide, and b.I don't know if ot's just general male female miscommunication that's typical of any relationship or whether he doesn't get what's going on because it's just too much of a mess and too complex - who knows?? Feels like it will be this way forever on most days =/

Due to see my midwife again in a week or two, will try to speak to her but I have no idea what they can do, the general response I've come across so far has been that most if not all therapies are pretty much unavailable until after the birth of my baby - Bessie84 It did get worse last time and I've brought it up a couple of times so far with various health staff such as doctors consultants and midwives but again just keep getting the general, 'wait until you've had the baby, I'm sure you'll be fine' kind of response so far, I'll have another push though, feels like there's a big storm on it's way otherwise!!

xx