Do you tell anyone you're TTC?

[Ladyboluna]

I have, my partner couldn't wait to tell his parents we were so even though I wanted to keep it to myself I felt obligated then to tell my parents.

Some of my work colleagues I see outside of work as friends for meals and outings so I told them and seeing as I work in a hospital I was happy for others to know as if a patient comes on the ward who has a certain condition or had a type of scan I could say I don't want to get involved just incase as I'm near test days, etc.

But.

It's been 12 months now and I'm starting to get sympathetic looks. I think when we told family we kinda expected it to happen quicker than it has done as well. Work colleagues are fine as the ones who are friends outside of work can talk to me about it without needing to give me that weird sympathy (they're the same age and many are trying themselves or have babies and tried for a while), and others I just work with work in healthcare so understand a bit about issues and professionalism about them. But its family! Subtly being asked and knowing winks. Ahh I know they mean well but it makes me feel embarrassed.

I kinda feel like they're hoping for another baby in the family from me and they're sitting there waiting with big grins and it makes me want to run for the hills and start my own tribe.

Anyone know what I'm saying?

[MrsG12345]

I totally get where your coming from. We have told both sets of parents, my siblings and my 2 best friends know but other than that we haven't told ppl. We've been married for a few years and lots of ppl ask the question but I just say "oh we will one day but not just yet etc..."

The ppl we have told have been very understanding and helpful etc but I can imagine others just waiting desperately and I'd feel pressure.

[Bellabutterfly2014]

Hey, we've only been trying a tiny little while and we haven't told any family members at all, I've told my best friend and that's it!!! She's already got a little boy, stopped taking the pill and was pregnant within like 6 weeks!!!!! I am really hoping to fall pregnant soon, it's only the first month of ttc and I am already consumed by it and can't think of nothing else!!! My partner works a dreadful shift pattern and I am already worrying about it all before I even conceive!!!!!!!! The last thing I want is my mother involved let alone the monster-in-law!!!!!!!!!! My partner already has kids so for his family it's a case of, "been there, done that" got the tee-shirt and so it won't be that much of a novelty for them whereas for my family it would be the first grandchild!

[weeblueberry]

I didn't tell anyone apart from my mum in case it took ages. But then I'm a total neurotic mess so worried about telling people even when it got to the 12 weeks...

[Ladyboluna]

I was happy with my in laws knowing really, as they've also already had one and I see them more often than my own parents. Wasn't going to be secret for long as I'm drinking less and avoiding something things near AF due date.

[Bellabutterfly2014]

A girl I work with told us all she had been trying for 4 years, they've had all the tests, no reasons why it hasn't happened but every month she comes to work practically in tears as it's just not happening. She's said she regretted telling people she was ttc, soI have learnt from that. I am just worried if I get pregnant before her, how she'll be with me??? Her sister announced her pregnancy on Facebook as she didn't dare tell her and she was in bits, her sister is not married, is 5 years younger and has an on/off relationship with her partner while my friend has always worked hard, had a lovely home and she feels like it should have been her first!!!! She also goes out every month and buys baby clothes and apparently has drawers full of them so I've also decided that nothing will be purchased until I am 12 weeks!!!!

[Ladyboluna]

Bella maybe you should try and say to her that there isn't someone in a room somewhere looking down a list and deciding who deserves getting a BFP before anyone else, it's totally and completely luck. Personally nothing will convince me otherwise - even if you're told you have amazing eggs and your partner has Superman's sperm you can still not be able to conceive.

Perhaps she needs to get a new hobby or a new focus. I had a few months where it was all I could think about and I would count down the days till AF (more than I do now, now I only start thinking about possibilities a few days before) and it would just destroy me each month. Getting really into my uni work and getting back into reading and crochet has really helped take my mind off it and give me small goals through the month to keep me busy, e.g. finishing a scarf or finishing a huge classical tome.

And buying baby clothes seems like torture to me. Poor lass.

[Bellabutterfly2014]

Hi Ladybulana, I totally agree with you. I feel really sorry for her and she'd be a great mum. She has a lovely husband, nice house, they just desperately want their own family.

Her husband bought her a gym membership for that very same reason except she gets upset going in as the crèche is right next to it ( not very well thought out I guess but it's the nicest gym in town). The buying of baby clothes is like an obsession. It's very very sad to see. She doesn't hide it tho, we get paid and that dinner she goes out and comes back with bags, she doesn't show us but doesn't take a genius to work out what's in a mothercare bag!!!! She said she'd seen a counsellor about it but she's still doing it afew months later!!!!! We are all quite worried about her and all hope that it will happen soon for her.

I aim to try to keep quiet if I can!!!!!! Until 12 weeks then tell my family, and then think about getting afew bits although I'm always online looking but not buying at ideas etc etc and reading reviews. X x x

[BrixtonBunny]

We have told some friends of ours who started TTC at the same time, which is really lovely as it means people to share the experience with, and I've told my best friend (with DP's permission). We haven't told our parents as worry that it would create more pressure on us! X

[Sunnydayz99]

We've been trying for about a year and just starting some tests as I'm 36... My husband is keen that 'we' sit down and tell his folks, but to be honest I said maybe he could do it when the time seems right and drop it into a conversation, so it's not seen as a massive big deal and putting them on the spot - I really don't want those sympathetic looks and awkward silences after that kind of conversation... As much as I love them to bits, some things needs to said more informally rather than some announcement being made, and me feeling like I'm a failure.... Have told a few close friends but trying to keep it quiet from work as don't want to risk being thought of as not committed/looking for an escape route! Think it could be easier for guys at work if they are having issues ttc?