Two Week Wait disappointment

[Aurenna]

I'm coming to the end of my first month trying to conceive. I've found the last two weeks really difficult, and I'm not looking forward to having to do it over and over again.

I have an irregular (but works out at roughly thirty-four day) cycle, ovulated on July 10th, and my period is due in three days.

Yesterday, I had some brown spotting and cramps and I thought I had resigned myself to my period coming. Talking to a friend who is in her early pregnancy stages taught me about implantation symptoms and I started to feel more hopeful.

I did a pregnancy test this morning and got a negative, which I was sure would happen but tried it anyway (lol) and now I'm at work my cramps have come back as has the spotting.

It would be weird for implantation spotting to start again, right?

I am now convinced my period is coming and I feel so sad! Getting myself through the two weeks without allowing myself to obsess was really hard - I'm not looking forward to doing it over and over again! :(

How do you ladies get yourselves through..?

[Phryn]

It's a bugger of a thing this trying to get pregnant business.

I found the second month the worst for symptom spotting, and the 2ww was awful. So much information, so many possible signs that could mean that we'd successfully got pregnant, but the same signs could equally mean that the delightful AF was about to appear again! It didn't help that I had a 41 day cycle, and that I thought I'd ovulated around day 15/16 - far too much time to go backwards and forwards between am I/aren't I?

Cycle three I spent most of my time trying to ignore symptoms and just do the baby dance regularly. Didn't really temp, and didn't POAS at all. No joy at the end of that, but I did feel calmer and less stressed out from trying to make sense of every little thing my body was doing or not doing.

Cycle four (where I am now) I'm trying for more of a happy medium. I've doing some OPKs to see if I ovulate, temping (when I remember) and I've bought a clear blue fertility monitor for next month if I need it. Baby dancing every other day but it's just worked out that way rather than I'm scheduling it. Trying not to stress or over focus on what my body is doing. I'm pretty sure it knows how to make a baby, I'm just going to try and let it get on with it and keep a moderate eye on it, rather than interrogate it's every move as that was way too stressful!

I guess what I'm saying is that you will find a way through that works for you. You'll probably go up and down with it, but you'll learn what helps make it bearable.

Finding a friend who was going through the same process in real life and who I could be real with, and who was similarly trying to remain grounded during the process was helpful too. My husband is great, but having a women who is going through the same thing to talked to has been important.

Good luck with it all xx

[Aurenna]

Hi Phryn, thanks for the wise words. I hope I'll be settling in to the process soon. I could do with less mental drama about it - but then I guess we could all say things like that, eh?

Unfortunately my only friend who is in a similar place has already caught and is around seen weeks pregnant at the moment, I think. She's great to talk to because she's been right here and understands but there's always a teeny bit of (acknowledged!) jealousy now.

Fingers crossed I'll be there with her soon. And good luck to you too!

[Whatamuddleduck]

Oh my I'm so similar. First cycle ttc and I've been driving myself nuts for the last week, I think I've got another week until af but my cycles have been a ll over the shop for the last few months. I thought I'd be excited but not overly bothered unless a f was late. Nope, hope has been constantly on my mind. I'm getting bloated so I suspect af will pay a visit in the next few days. I hope this gets a bit more normal soon. Fx for a bfp for all of us next time round x

[MaGratgarlik1983]

Aurenna, I'm in quite a similar position to you. It was our first cycle ttc and I got my AF a few days ago. Roughly have a 31-33 day cycle. Apparently there's only a 20% chance of it actually happening even if you DTD when you ovulate - who knew!! I thought it'd be so easy. I think next cycle I'm going to try not to think about it too much and be more relaxed as I wonder if the stress and pressure wasn't helping. But it's so hard when you want it so much!! This forum has been great for me, a real life line!

[Portlypenguin]

I am in the same position. period due sunday on cycle 3 of ttc#2. Both last month and this month i have virtually convinced myself of pregnancy on non- sensible grounds. DH thinks that it will take longer this time cos i am stressed out about work stuff and potty training ds1. Whether that has a basis i am not sure!

I have no coping advice really aside from distraction.

Am keen on trying ovulation sticks but dh complaining they are weird.

[BobsyBoo]

We've been TTC for 18 months now & every month when AF arrives I struggle. Distraction is good but it's always there at the back of my mind for me.

Portly I use a clear blue OPK which is good, I found the cheap supermarket own test sticks just didn't work for me.

[bexleigh]

Just to weigh in with a different view, I had the opposite attitude. I thought "it'll take a few months just for my body to adjust to no contraception and it'll likely take even longer than that to actually conceive..." I told my husband this and we started casually trying - not every night, probably slightly less than every other day. I would have stepped up the efforts and started using ovulation kits etc after a few more months but it never got to that stage. It turned out we conceived on the first cycle. I was shocked as I didn't expect it to happen so quickly. After puking and feeling really sick one day it eventually occurred to me to do a pregnancy test just to rule it out, I absolutely didn't expect it to be positive.

I really believe it helps to try and let go and relax, at least at first it makes no sense to worry - even if it takes a year or more I believe that's still very normal. No need to feel disappointed after only two months, you're only just getting started... I know it sounds blasé but maybe just try to enjoy the sex and forget that you're TTC.