Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

(1000 Posts)
ZingWantsCake Wed 04-Sep-13 21:42:54

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

Redshoes56 Thu 05-Sep-13 01:42:20

I got a call back from the nurse today but was in a meeting. She didn't leave any info about the semen analysis except to say she'd call me again tomorrow, but did drop a bomb on my voicemail that even though my tubes are open, my uterus is slightly septated. I didn't even know that was a word. It apparently means I am likely doomed or may even need surgery according to Dr. Google (yes, I know, I should wait until the call tomorrow to jump to conclusions!). Nervous.

Minion Thu 05-Sep-13 07:05:16

Morning fredsters.

Name: minion
Kids: not for the lack of trying
TTC: officially the 1st jan but that's when I was ignorant and thought you get up duffed any time willy nilly, so let's say the 1st may

Viroids, I am having the weirdest ERTD. I got that horrible brown sludge and its The most bloody painful ERTD that kept me up an hour last night. Knew this one would be a killer from the fact since the moment I iced I have cramps. So, off to chemist today, what should I pick up oh knowledgable shaggers?
What's good to kill off the pain, apart from a gun?

ZingWantsCake Thu 05-Sep-13 07:45:55

minion I PMd you

BroodyTroody Thu 05-Sep-13 07:54:05

Minion, when I was younger, I used to use a TENS machine for period pain, but that would only be worth investing in if they're consistently bad.

Nothing worse than dreadful period pain that you can't seem to do anything about hmm

lil1ady Thu 05-Sep-13 08:38:14

morning all

red Lol at FBI. hope u get better news when you speak to the nurse today. try not to worry until you know the facts. Dr goofle thinks he's such a know it all but sometimes he's just a bow tie smile

min only thing I find helps is a hit water bottle but I've been lucky and never had them as bad as you. [hugs]

DulcetMoans Thu 05-Sep-13 09:18:15

Oh no red, what a horrible thing to hear by voicemail without anyone to speak to. Google does bring up the worst though so hopefully the nurse can give you more details.

I just went back and looked at my picture zing, haha. Not sure what it was but I think it's a lady with a head scarf? Maybe she is a dulcetmoaner!

Redshoes56 Thu 05-Sep-13 12:24:56

I can't see most of the pics sadly, except for coffee's coffee!

min feel better. An electric heating pad does wonders.

AQuarkTooFar Thu 05-Sep-13 12:40:50

[🚀] red hope u get some better info today! What a crap message to be left.

min hope you are ok, that sounds awful. flowers

In the twot now! Might carry on JSing eod for the fun of it though probably won't be arsed though. Unfortunately if it doesn't happen this month I think we will be taking a wee break from it. Don't want my due date to be on sil wedding day!

AQuarkTooFar Thu 05-Sep-13 12:42:15

Aw my rocket didn't work! sad

Will try again ............🚀

Yay!

ZingWantsCake Thu 05-Sep-13 13:16:16

.A
|.|
/|\

there's your rocket Quark!

you like?

Redshoes56 Thu 05-Sep-13 13:17:02

I can still see only squares, no icons! I feel gypped, cheated and swindled. I'll blame the government wink

Redshoes56 Thu 05-Sep-13 13:17:32

Oh, I see that rocket, zing - nice one!

fifi669 Thu 05-Sep-13 13:41:34

dulcet you were a bride!

DulcetMoans Thu 05-Sep-13 13:56:14

Of course! I can totally see that now. Amazing!! I love it!

I think I am having a squinny day in my head. I want a baby and I want it now! Watching midwife programme until after midnight last night was probably not a good idea.

AQuarkTooFar Thu 05-Sep-13 15:38:40

Thanks Zing!

Dulcet I know the feeling, I watched that programme yesterday and then read some birth stories on here and the sobbed about the fact I am not pregnant! <stomps feet and throws a tantrum>

Curly86 Thu 05-Sep-13 17:13:39

quark dulcet my OH has banned such programmes as I blubber too much! He has put them in the contraband category

I also am twotting --or I would be if I wanted a baby which I totally don't mr Sod if you are listening!

red that totally sucks as an answer machine message and to say she would call again tomorrow does she not understand that you need to prepare a cape etc and be having a baby now!

fifi669 Thu 05-Sep-13 18:11:39

Loving the cunningness of red with her reverse psychology smile

fifi669 Thu 05-Sep-13 18:12:24

Sorry i meant curly.....

Alohomora Thu 05-Sep-13 18:23:14

Name: Pizza
TTC #2 since Feb 2013

Name: Zing
Children: yes
TTC since Aug 2013

Name:Curly
off pill since Nov 2012
TTC #1 since Mar 2013

Name: Fox
TTC #1 since Dec 2012

Name: Bearfacedchic
Kinder? Nooooo
Ttc #1 since forever it feels like but actually August 2011. Currently undergoing investigayshons.

Name: AQuarkTooFar
No Kids
Ttc #1 since nov 2012

Name: lil1ady
Dcs: no
TTC: #1 since Nov 12

Name: Fifi669
One DS
TTC#2 since April 13

Name: dulcetmoans
No kids
TTC: march 2012 with break

Name: BroodyTroody
Ttc #1 since Feb 2013

Name: Redshoes56
No kids
TTC: Hmm....May 2012. Also being poked by the FBI (f***ing barren investigation)

Name: minion
Kids: not for the lack of trying
TTC: officially the 1st jan but that's when I was ignorant and thought you get up duffed any time willy nilly, so let's say the 1st may

Name: alohomora
Kids: Two cats and a dog
TTC: This is cycle three

Ladies, I'm officially icing. I am just SO GLAD it confirmed that I know my body quite well - I had runny mucus yesterday and had the most intense dream tonight about snogging Barney Stinson. And ta-dah, smiley face!

Gives me some piece of mind, at least - now for the cape tonight! Just glad I'm not working til 10. It's been 5 years to the day that I moved here from Germany, it would be awesome if it was also the day we managed to make a baby!

curly of course you don't!!! Maybe that'll work...

AuntieMaggie Thu 05-Sep-13 18:29:41

Hello ladies. Thanks for the new thread Zing.

Name: AuntieMaggie
TTC: June 2013

minion a concoction of various painkillers, hot water bottle and bed.

ZingWantsCake Thu 05-Sep-13 18:34:16

Name: Pizza
TTC #2 since Feb 2013

Name: Zing
Children: yes
TTC since Aug 2013

Name:Curly
off pill since Nov 2012
TTC #1 since Mar 2013

Name: Fox
TTC #1 since Dec 2012

Name: Bearfacedchic
Kinder? Nooooo
Ttc #1 since forever it feels like but actually August 2011. Currently undergoing investigayshons.

Name: AQuarkTooFar
No Kids
Ttc #1 since nov 2012

Name: lil1ady
Dcs: no
TTC: #1 since Nov 12

Name: Fifi669
One DS
TTC#2 since April 13

Name: dulcetmoans
No kids
TTC: march 2012 with break

Name: BroodyTroody
Ttc #1 since Feb 2013

Name: Redshoes56
No kids
TTC: Hmm....May 2012. Also being poked by the FBI (f***ing barren investigation)

Name: minion
Kids: not for the lack of trying
TTC: officially the 1st jan but that's when I was ignorant and thought you get up duffed any time willy nilly, so let's say the 1st may

Name: alohomora
Kids: Two cats and a dog
TTC: This is cycle three

Name: AuntieMaggie
TTC: June 2013

Curly86 Thu 05-Sep-13 19:25:37

I haven't used any contraband, I've eaten all the bad stuff drunk what I want and have openly said at least 3 times per day it would be awful if I fell pregnant now because its just not the right time... I'm hoping that someone up there hates me enough to make it happen :-)

ChubbyKitty Thu 05-Sep-13 19:57:45

Oh hai.

Room for a little chubby one?

Bearfacedchic Thu 05-Sep-13 20:42:49

Aw Red- what an awful message to be left. What Lik said was spot on about dr Goof. I hope it's better news when you speak to her. thanks

Hi Kitty! Welcome! Add your details to the list above as we're doing roll call.

Bearfacedchic Thu 05-Sep-13 20:43:53

Who's lik? I meant Lil!

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