how old is too old for a man to ttc?

(7 Posts)
remnant Mon 04-Mar-13 19:56:41

simple question really. Is there an age at which you would say it's too late for a man to have a baby?

I know there are increased risks of autism and schizophrenia developing when the father is older, and there's no way to screen for this, but I don't know how much these risks increase with the age of the father.

If you're ttc'ing with someone 50, or you are a man over 50 ttc'ing or over I'd be really interested in hearing your perspective on it.

IllGetOverIt Mon 04-Mar-13 20:02:02

A relative had his youngest at 54.
Personally for me it's too old.

My main concern is how they'll manage as they get older and hell be 60 by the time dc starts school.

He's a good dad etc. can't fault him on that. But I do think he's a bit old tbh.

notsoold Tue 05-Mar-13 20:53:51

Hi remnant...smile

I have relatives (3sets) when the man were older than 50, in one of the cases my uncle was 59. But I am south american and at that time people started early and kept having children until menopause kicked in. At all 3 cases the childen were perfect and had both set of parents and lots of older siblings as suport.
But like you I wonder as my dh is 54.

hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 22:06:06

Hello Remnant. My DH is 52 and I think he's been an amazing dad to our youngest (he was 48 when DS was born). He found it difficult at first, was very reluctant to have another baby, and it hasn't all been smooth sailing, but he is great with him now that DS is 4.I think our LO brings so much laughter and fun into our home that wouldn't be there otherwise and I love hearing the two of them playing and being silly (men never grow up, so it is perfect,really grin)

My Dh would tell you he feels too old.That is partly because we have 5 kids in total and the eldest is 21. By the time our forth child was 5 (which is when I started wanting another baby) my DH felt "ready" to move onto a different time of life - one that involved less babies,more free time. So I think in our case it is more about having done the baby thing and not wanting to go back, IYSWIM? Not so much about age.

My DH is actually a very young 52. In both appearance and attitude, so I honestly don't feel age is an issue.

In terms of being older when our youngest grows up, I personally don't see it as an issue, and I think DH only does because it means financially we won't be as free as we might have been. I still feel quite young at 46, and having lost three dear friends/relatives when they were in their 40's, has helped me see that the number(age) makes very little difference. young parents die and get ill too, so I don't see that as an issue at all.

I know how hard it is when discussing this with our significant others. My DH says he doesn't feel the longing for a child like I do. He doesn't feel attachment while I am pregnant, but as soon as the baby is born, he tells me, he has a fierce desire to protect and love the baby above all else. That isn't something that can change with age.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Tue 05-Mar-13 22:11:14

I wouldn't really judge whole age ranges. For some 40 would be too old, for others 50 would be too young. There is no "typical" 50 year old for example. Some are groaning when they bend down to tie their shoe laces and others are trekking to the North Pole.

My DH was a very late father to DD and she couldn't ask for a better one smile

cassell Tue 05-Mar-13 22:15:35

Dh was in his 50s when ttcing both of our dc, certainly no loss of fertility here, bfp first month of ttc with both. Both dc seem healthy and no signs of any problems.

crazyhead Wed 06-Mar-13 07:02:35

I don't think there is any rule on age, we all just have to make our best judgment on whether we can be a decent parent. And none of us know how long we'll live or be healthy

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