Elderberry Pavlovas And The Eternal Sausage of Wang (Part 4): a frightfully good thread for the over-30s TTC their first baby.

(996 Posts)
viviennewestwould Fri 25-Jan-13 18:58:59

Over here, sausage-wangers!

Bunnygirlie Sun 27-Jan-13 10:09:47

Yes yes yes let's have some random facts about you lovely ladies too!

Aquarius1 Sun 27-Jan-13 10:23:13

Aquarius, 31, cycle [think its 10 now] 5ish dpo, af due 4 feb-ish, lazy so-and-so who's still in bed whilst typing this.

soph hello- are you new or have I missed something? Tell us about yourself?

Bunnygirlie Sun 27-Jan-13 10:29:35

Bunny, just 33 (eek), CD2, cycle 9, married, have 2 furry babies and work in a boring office job.
MotherOfCleo, 29, ttc#1, month 4, bfp due 1 feb (fx)
Sophie80, 33 ttc#1, month 19, AF due next week (not sure of date as some scumbag has nicked my phone!)
Aquarius, 31, cycle [think its 10 now] 5ish dpo, af due 4 feb-ish, lazy so-and-so who's still in bed whilst typing this. 
Happylass 34 (but not for much longer boohoo) CD2 of cycle 6. AF due Feb 21st
Viv, 41 (fuck off!) 5DPO, 11th cycle since mmc, champion sausage-wanger, nice tits.

2cats222 Sun 27-Jan-13 11:14:53

Added myself....

Bunny, just 33 (eek), CD2, cycle 9, married, have 2 furry babies and work in a boring office job.
MotherOfCleo, 29, ttc#1, month 4, bfp due 1 feb (fx)
Sophie80, 33 ttc#1, month 19, AF due next week (not sure of date as some scumbag has nicked my phone!)
Aquarius, 31, cycle [think its 10 now] 5ish dpo, af due 4 feb-ish, lazy so-and-so who's still in bed whilst typing this.
Happylass 34 (but not for much longer boohoo) CD2 of cycle 6. AF due Feb 21st
Viv, 41 (fuck off!) 5DPO, 11th cycle since mmc, champion sausage-wanger, nice tits.
2cats222, newlywed won't shut up about it & 31, CD10 of cycle 7

2cats222 Sun 27-Jan-13 11:17:01

One for the sausage wangers... I genuinely saw a comedian last night called Phil WANG I am not joking!! www.avalonuk.com/artists/view/120
He was fucking brilliant

2cats222 Sun 27-Jan-13 11:30:15

And (I know you old timers will have seen these before) but these help prove all the POAS and observing everything you wipe is worth it....

General getting pregnant stats vs stats for those charting CM/BBT (in bold);
1st month 30% pregnant vs 38% pregnant
By 3 months 59% pregnant vs 68% pregnant
By 6 months 80% pregnant vs 81% pregnant
By 12 months 85% pregnant vs 92% pregnant

viviennewestwould Sun 27-Jan-13 13:01:04

MOTHEROFCLEO IS AN INTERLOPER 'COS SHE'S NOT EVEN 30 YET!! [chucks sausage at Mother's head for being such a nubile, young wench]

2cats, I hate your statistics, they do not apply to me. A 41 year-old has only a 5% chance of conceiving each month. In 1.5 years, when I am 43, my chances of conceiving drop to 1% each cycle [runs off to kill oneself]

The good news is I have just come back from church where I was reminded once again that Jesus loves me and there are greater things in life than squeezing a brat out of your vagina, having it hanging off your tit for twelve months and then being hated by the evil bastard from the age of thirteen grin

Aquarius1 Sun 27-Jan-13 13:20:15

viv I'm so glad to hear your/Jesus's perspective on things wink I skipped my church this morning for a lie in and brunch with oh (I go to an evangelical /fairly happy clappy C of E here in Yorkshire) so will contemplate your thought for the day instead

Soph80 Sun 27-Jan-13 13:31:01

2cats - what about by 19 months lol?

Had a lovely, calming pilates class today only to return to find AF has reared her ugly face! Looks like round 2 of clomid starts tomorrow hmm

viviennewestwould Sun 27-Jan-13 13:49:34

Aquarius!! I, too, go to an evangelical C of E (no clapping though, or handling serpents, or speaking gobbledegook). I am a terrible Christian but trying to follow Jesus' teachings smile

Soph, sorry about AF. Remind me - were you ovulating before being prescribed Clomid?

happylass Sun 27-Jan-13 13:53:09

As if the "I got pregnant the 1st month of TTC" threads aren't bad enough. There's now one for women who got pregnant after being sterilised. Seriously!?!

2cats222 Sun 27-Jan-13 14:14:02

Happy I hope you threw some sausages at said woman's head

Soph sorry about AF

Aquarius - a fellow Yorkshire lass eh? I am now an honourary Southerner (not by choice) but hope to move back 'oop North' someday when i find the strength to drag kicking and screaming husband up there

Viv Sausage wanging taken like a man for pissing you off with non applicable stats (I am pretending they apply to me too but being as I am not 21 they don't)

Anyone got any motivation tips for me? House looks like a bomb has hit despite lots of hidying (shoving stuff in cupboards) and I am too lazy to do anything about it argh

Aquarius1 Sun 27-Jan-13 14:44:08

viv serpent handling?? We've had a donkey in once (for the nativity) ...Don't think actual clapping goes on much (apart from for the kids' worship) but there's a bit of hand waving /guitars/drums/Christian rock songs that sound like U2 songs.... I too think I'm doing fairly awful job of being Xn (and not in a fake modest sort of way) -at least we're honest with ourselves about it.

2cats this isn't something I share with a lot of people but this might motivate you- I cleared out a room that we don't use much last autumn and found quite a few carpet bugs on the floor and under things. not harmful and apparently v common, but unsightly &can eat through carpet -regular cleaning/tidying keeps them at bay, (with the help of a cleaner) and that motivates me(!) pretty gross I know.

Aquarius1 Sun 27-Jan-13 14:48:56

Ps 'ey up lass and all that 2cats (have to confess i've adopted yorkshire as home for past 10 yrs odd but originally from the midlands (not brum))

retroelement Sun 27-Jan-13 15:18:03

I am also originally from Yorkshire (God's own country, although I am a confirmed atheist) but an honorary southerner now. I even sound posh, although I will never drop the short "a" in bath, grass, etc.

Anyway. I have today for the first time had some EWCM. AF is due tomorrow, and Dr. Google tells me this could be a sign she's on the way, but WTF? Why now and not, you know, around ovulation when it might actually be useful?

2cats222 Sun 27-Jan-13 16:01:02

Retro snap - I say bath properly (there is no r in bath!) but the yorkshire accent comes back quite quickly when i'm home or on the phone to parents etc, OH finds it hilarious!

Alternatively your EWCM could be a symptom of something else?? <Runs away fast from Viv wanging a sausage at me symptom spotting>

viviennewestwould Sun 27-Jan-13 16:18:37

Aquarius, the reference to serpents relates to those loons in America's bible belt who take a verse from the Old Testament entirely out of context and lift up venomous snakes during their services with the 'knowledge' that God will protect them. When various members are bitten and writhe around shrieking in agony - or worse, die - the congregation merely shrug their shoulders and say the victims were clearly not God's people hmm

Retro, fertile cm can appear right the way through the luteal phase and simply demonstrates a surge of oestrogen. Unfortunately, it does usually mean AF is on its way. At this stage in your cycle your best bet is to use it to stick wallpaper up.

So...I'm 5DPO and feeling a baby kicking - could I be pregnant?

MotherOfCleo Sun 27-Jan-13 16:24:24

haha, viv Im galloping towards my thirtys at a rate of knots I shall hit the big 30 in March. I appologise for being a very bad elderberry, please good christian can you show forgivness grin

<runs away before viv can catch me and neatly dodges her flying bratwurst>

viviennewestwould Sun 27-Jan-13 16:40:24

[beams beatifically at Mother]: bless you, my child.

I need help shouting out the demons (actually, not demons - statistics I masochistically devoured last night re ttc over 40) which are telling me I have only eighteen months to conceive. When I reach 43 I have almost zero chance of getting pregnant with my own eggs. We will never be able to afford donor IVF. I am feeling really, really miserable about these statistics. Yes, I know there are women who get preggo at 44, 45 etc but, really...they are very, very few and far between. I read last night that, if you read about women over 43 having babies they are most definitely not using their own eggs and had IVF. Iam 42 in August sadsadsad

2cats222 Sun 27-Jan-13 16:41:38

oooh viv you MUST be. I assume you're having some BH at this stage too

Aquarius promise I don't have that much mess! Just lots of honeymoon laundry, unpacking, stuff to go in the loft post wedding that I seem just to be moving around from room to room!

2cats222 Sun 27-Jan-13 16:46:20

and viv i wish I could say something to help/make you feel better/change the stats. Perhaps just wine / flowers / tea & biscuits and a hug. At least youre doing everything you can to make it happen and that has got to give you a much much better chance <hugs>

retroelement Sun 27-Jan-13 16:55:09

The stats are just that, though - population-level statistics and averages. Have you had tests, viv, to find out what YOUR fertility is?

Soph80 Sun 27-Jan-13 17:05:36

Viv - yes I was ovulating before clomid. You were right about it not making any difference sad

2cats - used to it now lol x

Pipbin Sun 27-Jan-13 17:53:40

Evening ladies.
The stats from earlier just go make me think that it's all just way to distract us until we get a BFP. I wonder what the stats are for people just not using any contraception and not charting etc.

Welcome Soph, nice to have another long termer here.

Bunny, just 33 (eek), CD2, cycle 9, married, have 2 furry babies and work in a boring office job.
MotherOfCleo, 29, ttc#1, month 4, bfp due 1 feb (fx)
Sophie80, 33 ttc#1, month 19, AF due next week (not sure of date as some scumbag has nicked my phone!)
Aquarius, 31, cycle [think its 10 now] 5ish dpo, af due 4 feb-ish, lazy so-and-so who's still in bed whilst typing this.
Happylass 34 (but not for much longer boohoo) CD2 of cycle 6. AF due Feb 21st
Viv, 41 (fuck off!) 5DPO, 11th cycle since mmc, champion sausage-wanger, nice tits.
2cats222, newlywed won't shut up about it & 31, CD10 of cycle 7
Pipbin, 37, cycle 17, I think, AF due 31st Jan

Sonics Sun 27-Jan-13 17:58:59

Hello ladies, can I add myself to your merry band? (Soph I'm not following you, promise!!)

I've added myself to the bottom of the list

Bunny, just 33 (eek), CD2, cycle 9, married, have 2 furry babies and work in a boring office job.
MotherOfCleo, 29, ttc#1, month 4, bfp due 1 feb (fx)
Sophie80, 33 ttc#1, month 19, AF due next week (not sure of date as some scumbag has nicked my phone!)
Aquarius, 31, cycle [think its 10 now] 5ish dpo, af due 4 feb-ish, lazy so-and-so who's still in bed whilst typing this.
Happylass 34 (but not for much longer boohoo) CD2 of cycle 6. AF due Feb 21st
Viv, 41 (fuck off!) 5DPO, 11th cycle since mmc, champion sausage-wanger, nice tits.
2cats222, newlywed won't shut up about it & 31, CD10 of cycle 7
Pipbin, 37, cycle 17, I think, AF due 31st Jan
Sonics, 32, cycle 19 (1 MMC August 2012) AF started yesterday what a bitch

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