TTC and a teacher?! Join me!

(286 Posts)
HopefulFairy Wed 16-Jan-13 20:58:35

Good morning (evening) Miss/Mrs MummyToBe!

I don't know about you, but I'm finding it hard to balance teaching+TTC. Too tired to DTD as often as I think I probably should be+so overwhelmed with the job that I'm filled with lots of negative thoughts+feelings all the time sad

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to be less stressed if I want to conceive but find that an impossibility.....unless I resign!!

Any other teachers out there feel like this?

Thatssofunny Thu 07-Feb-13 20:04:30

Well done Laura! That's great after all that stress. smile

Anybody got any thoughts on a little issue I've got at the moment? Jobs are coming up at schools around me (my current commute is about an hour each way...but I only started at my school last summer; I was at my previous one for several years, so I don't change schools frequently) and I am very tempted to at least try and get something closer. Thing is, if I manage to get pregnant, I'd have to go on mat leave in November (or the months after...). I don't feel it would be right to go off on mat leave straight away, but I also don't want to stop ttc again. We've been trying for ages, it seems, and I don't get any younger. We did take a break for a while for my current job, to avoid me getting pregnant within the first academic year. Would it look really, really bad, if I went off so soon after starting? Not sure what to do, really...

ILoveMyCats Thu 07-Feb-13 20:40:43

Yay Laura! Was thinking of you, so glad it went well.

thatssofunny my career dilemmas also revolve around the worry of turning up somewhere and being pg soon after or already being pg etc. I've come to the conclusion that this is not the end of the world. Employers have to find mat cover all the time. You do not have to sign a non pg agreement when you accept a job, after all! I have known teachers falling pg soon after joining a school. A good friend started a new job (not teaching) already pg, but didn't know at the time. She wasn't entitled to enhanced mat pay, and is main earner, but they survived and have a gorgeous little creature. She returned from mat leave to a promotion and had time off for post natal depression. Immediate pg did not harm her career. The main thing is your happiness. Nothing stopping you applying for jobs now & withdrawing if you find yourself pg before offer stage. No worse off, but at least feeling more positive about doing sthg to change your situation. Keep ttc and apply for jobs that you want. I'll be doing the same, so can compare notes!

DH's first suggestion to my medical dilemmas after GP was that I need to do more exercise!!! He doesn't have a clue. He's also suggested that I might be diabetic! After a bit of reasoning from me, I have booked myself in for a private blood test tomorrow. I want to know one way or the other as I want to apply for a job I've seen.....

Gooseysgirl Thu 07-Feb-13 22:29:12

Hi all, haven't been on for awhile... I mostly access MN from my phone and managed to lose the thread til today. Keeping everything crossed for you Delilah. I remember when I was pregnant with DD I did loads of Internet cheapie tests for the first couple of weeks and the lines kept getting darker so hang on in there! Our first attempt at TTC DC2 has not worked, AF actually came a few days early to surprise me!! It's worked out well though cos we have to visit family for a wedding on 16th Feb and I will be well past ovulation then otherwise would have been a nightmare trying to get the privacy for DTD!!!! Work v stressful for me at the moment, am hoping it won't start affecting TTC. Also had obs today which didn't go great but it's SEN school so behaviour issues affected things, less said the better. Feedback tomorrow... Eeeek!!

Bearface Thu 07-Feb-13 23:53:35

Laura, I'm really glad everything went well for you! That's fab. Hope the other stuff starts getting sorted out too.

ILoveMy and Thatsso - I keep thinking the same about starting jobs but lots of people on MN and DH keep telling me that you can't put your life on hold in any direction. Those people who might judge that it's not great planning obviously have no idea that TTC is not something you have much control over unless you're one of the lucky few. If I did have any control then I would have got pg in August 2011 when we very first started not using any contraception. Life just doesn't work that way though and sometimes unfortunately it's a bit messy. Schools cope though and that's the way it is sometimes. That's my humble opinion on it anyway.

Goosey - good luck for feedback tomorrow!

Ilovemy - hope you get to the bottom of it all soon.

LauraSmurf Fri 08-Feb-13 07:15:32

Well ladies the dream for this month appears to be over. Woke up feeling cranky and there's fresh red blood. I'm a bit gutted. I really thought this might be it. Oh well at least it's half term next week.

Bearface Fri 08-Feb-13 16:47:47

Oh Laurea- gutted for you. sad It's horrible when you really think it's your month and it turns out not to be. It's weird isn't it, because you feel so sure. It's so sad.

I've just been thinking lots today about the convo earlier up this thread about whether to apply for jobs while still TTC and I'm just wondering, if you say got a job now and in the meantime got upduffed, what would happen? Nothing? Of course I'm sure people would be quite annoyed at you, but I just wondered what if???? Any thoughts anyone. Of course, the whole thing would be so much easier in some ways if recruitment didn't have to happen so far in advance, but anyway ... I've seen a job I want to apply for and am now in that dilemma situation, but am not even going to think about it until if I get offered an interview.

Happy Friday everyone! smile

Bearface Fri 08-Feb-13 16:48:23

Sorry Laura, not some half-arsed version of your name!

marshmallowqueen Fri 08-Feb-13 18:54:44

laura sorry to hear this is not your month it's always a disappointment.

I have had a bit of good news today. after 3 years of TTC and lots of heartache dealing with the NHS we heard today that we have been referred for IVF. This thanks to pushing for a second opinion and referral to a different hospital. I know still a long way to go but feel we have made it over another hurdle. If anyone has any advice or experience to share it would be gratefully received.

Hope everyone has a good weekend and fingers crossed it doesn't snow!

Bearface Fri 08-Feb-13 18:56:28

That's great news marshmallow! Really pleased for you. smile Sorry you had to keep pushing for it though - it shouldn't be that way.

delilahbelle Fri 08-Feb-13 19:05:48

I'm on this thread marshmallow, loads of IVF support. Congratulations on your referral. :-)

marshmallowqueen Fri 08-Feb-13 19:47:51

Thank you so much for your kind words. We are cautiously excited smile. Thanks delilahbelle for letting me know about the thread I will get myself on there.

ILoveMyCats Fri 08-Feb-13 20:03:07

bearface I have always hated how far in advance you have to commit to a job, and even moreso now. My wise old dad always says the time to panic is when they offer you the job! Until that point, try not to think about it. Easy to say, I know. If my blood test is bfn I'm going to apply for a job next week.. I've spoken to the head before about other vacancies and she's contacted me a couple of times for short term things (never met her as I'm not going to leave a perm job, albeit as a TA, for 4 weeks work). School is in special measures, but is close to home & my lovely neighbour is a parent there & governor & says the head is great (new as dead wood has been cut out!).
My other ttc while having a life dilemma is clothes shopping......any thoughts?? I don't think this is my month, just a weird cycle. Results tomorrow & then clothes shopping!!

Had training on restorative justice today. Anyone else use it?

ILoveMyCats Fri 08-Feb-13 20:03:40

P.S. very happy for you marshmallow!

Bearface Sat 09-Feb-13 22:58:16

I think I'd like your wise old dad ILoveMyCats. You're right that I shouldn't worry too much about it and I'm going to push it to the back of my mind. Weirdly though I'm in the 2ww and I've got about 5 days to go but I don't feel the overwhelming urge to POAS that I normally get, so I'm thinking that maybe this is because I really want that job!?

Your job prospects do sound promising though ILoveMy! Good luck with it!

Never used restorative justice, so no, sorry. Sounds interesting though - do you think it would work?

Thatssofunny Sun 10-Feb-13 15:32:49

Sorry to hear that it didn't work this time round, Laura. sad

ILoveMyCats my previous school used restorative justice, although I didn't feel it to be appropriate in all cases. (We had one where a student accused a teacher and that teacher was put through the restorative justice routine, basically implying that he had been in the wrong and needed to apologize. Most staff and union did not agree with that. He was fine, parents needed to sort out their sprog, really.) Moving to a school in SM is generally a tricky situation. I moved in the summer, knowing I was walking straight into an inspection and a rather tense school environment. It worked out ok, though.
I can understand the wish to work closer to home, which is the main reason for me wanting to apply at the moment. However, interview date would be 4th March,...and the earliest I can test is 1st March, so it would be really, really early days. I'd hate to start at a school and then leave for mat leave a few weeks into the academic year. At the same time, I'd hate to pass up this opportunity and then not be pregnant for another year. Does anyone have any experience with going into a new position that heavily pregnant? In most other workplaces, you don't apply and interview so many months ahead of the start date...

ILoveMyCats Sun 10-Feb-13 17:59:52

thatssofunny, I agree with your feelings about not wanting to arrive at a job heavily pg, but IMHO, I think you should still apply and go for the interview. If you're offered the post, you could ask for a day to think about it to give you another day to test. If you are pg, then you can be honest and turn it down and say why. If you're not, then you know you'll be a month less pg in Sept! I have no direct experience of this, but common sense suggests that schools must encounter this as the recruitment process is so far ahead. Would you consider taking a couple of months off ttc if you get the job so that you wouldn't be pg in the first term, say? If you don't feel this is an option, then just keep ttc. You'll be in your new position for long enough to give them notice to get cover.
Thanks for your thoughts on SM and restorative justice. I'm not sure it's being used very effectively at my school. Also there are children for whom it would not work. SM does concern me, but I've had a look at their Ofsted stuff and it's to do with pupil progress rather than behaviour, which I can cope with!

Thanks for your reply, bearface. My dad has his moments!

Blood test came back bfn. After a bit of googling I've found that the pregnacare vitamins I've been taking could have been responsible for the dizziness & delaying my cycle! I've stopped taking them today and do feel a lot better in myself. How bizarre! After a heart to heart with DH, we've decided to stop using OPKs etc until the summer and adopt the just shagging approach while my cycles settle. Once I get af I'll get some acupunture booked in, but my focus will be regulating my cycles with the view to starting charting etc in the summer holidays. May join the just shagging thread....but will keep posting here, my spiritual home!

Bearface Wed 13-Feb-13 17:50:33

ILoveMyCats - sorry that it came back BFN. sad But I'm on the Just Shagging fred and everyone there is lovely , so do come on over. I'm mainly on there, but I do hop about trying to get a range of ideas and to 'meet' different peeps.

I think my ERTD is round the corner. Due tomorrow or Friday and I can feel some twinges beginning. We did it at the right times too. It's soooooo frustrating. Why won't it happen? Sigh. . . Nearly half term for me though, so I'm hanging on for dear life!

How's eveyone else?

Onesliceortwo Wed 13-Feb-13 20:13:01

Bring on half term .... just saying!

AmelieRose Wed 13-Feb-13 21:14:58

Hello all - not posted in ages but have been keeping up to date and lurking!

marshmallow that's fab news. Laura rubbish about AF, fingers x for next cycle.

My period has gone seriously AWOL and have been having pg symptoms - nausea, tiredness, peeing all the bloody time, dizziness and headaches... But POAS twice 5 days apart and both BFN.

Hoping AF still on its way back after mc but waiting around is annoying! Plus I appear to be tormenting myself with fake symptoms grin

Had a shocking day at school today (training day) so am in bed with a film, hot water bottle, sleepy cat and some chocolate. Can't shake the grumpiness though and am annoyed with myself!

Bearface Thu 14-Feb-13 17:42:37

Ooo - sounds promising Amelie!

My half term has started today - wooo hooooo! and Fridays don't count for the rest of you who have to work tomorrow

marshmallowqueen Thu 14-Feb-13 19:15:03

Thanks Amelie, hope you end up with BFP very soon.

My half term starts today too bearface yippee!!. ERTD turned up yesterday 5 days early so definitely having a glass or 3 of bubbles to celebrate valentines night with DP.

Happy half term people x

BeQuicksieorBeDead Fri 15-Feb-13 20:23:06

Hi Everyone, Happy Half Term!

I have been mad busy this week (I am sure you all have been) trying to get everything done before the holiday, and have still managed to bring home many bags of assorted papers which I wish someone would set fire to. eventually I get fed up of carrying them around and start a new, empty bag....there are hundreds of them lurking in my spare room. God only knows what horrors they contain.

Well this week I have had sore boobs, pink spotting on Wednesday and nausea when not sdtuffing my face...good right?! I am 11 dpo and to scared to test. Is anyone else coming up for testing time who wants to do a double dip?!

Thatssofunny Sun 17-Feb-13 10:40:12

Half term is over,...and I've got to go to school tomorrow. I don't want to. sad Funny that, I used to love going to school...and couldn't wait to go back after the holidays. I really need a nice class next year; it's no fun this way. I'm good at running my class like a bootcamp when I have to, but I don't like it. (Might be the reason why this is my third "challenging" class in a row. Loved my last one, though. They were hard work, but I really liked them. Their current teacher can't stand them. hmm )

Preparing lessons and planning everything, but just can't seem to focus on anything. Got a fixture next week as well,...Need to concentrate. Really.

BeQuicksie I wish I could join you. Sounds good so far. I'm only 2 dpo. Waiting game. brew

Amelie Any changes, yet? I had dizziness and all that last term, but that was down to the Pregnacare vitamins I was taking. Thought I had a virus, which was going round school at the time.

AmelieRose Sun 17-Feb-13 10:52:35

No changes yet! Still waiting for AF but my imaginary symptoms have vanished so am assuming it was just a virus after all.

I've started charting my temp just out of interest - and it seems I have a weirdly low temp confused. Anyone else experienced this? It's quite odd!

Any news BeQuicksie?

BeQuicksieorBeDead Sun 17-Feb-13 14:34:31

Hi All,
I think Aunt Flo is on her way....feel fat, fed up and have got heavier spotting, like I get before af. Bugger! I can't believe my body would be so evil and pretend to be pg! My bbs still hurt, never had this before, hopefully it means my hormones are doing a proper job.

Thats I had a class just like that last year as well! I loved them, but by heck they were hard work. Their current teacher is seriously considering a career change....does anyone else feel immediately defensive when someone slags off your class from last year?! When I hear about how they can't do this or that, I feel like pulling out evidence that I taught them properly last year and that they have got redeeming features!

Amelie I started charting this month too! My temperatures were always below 36 celsius for the first half of my cycle - my gp was worried it might mean hypothyroid...but it turns out that is normal for me. Might be worth getting it checked out if it continues, but it can be effectively treated so don't worry about it (or google it, deadly)
Also, you will get lower temperatures if you take your temp orally (I do) and if you mouth breathe during the night! Also if you take it at different times you will get a variation. On my chart on FF you can see where the weekends are without looking at the dates! It has taken me a month to start seeing a nice smooth line on the chart, without crazy rocky mountain peaks, but you will see a pattern forming even if it does look wacky day to day.

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