TTC and a teacher?! Join me!

(286 Posts)
HopefulFairy Wed 16-Jan-13 20:58:35

Good morning (evening) Miss/Mrs MummyToBe!

I don't know about you, but I'm finding it hard to balance teaching+TTC. Too tired to DTD as often as I think I probably should be+so overwhelmed with the job that I'm filled with lots of negative thoughts+feelings all the time sad

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to be less stressed if I want to conceive but find that an impossibility.....unless I resign!!

Any other teachers out there feel like this?

sparkle9 Tue 22-Jan-13 19:51:33

Ah I see. Thanks! It's a whole new world of phrases and acronyms!

Bearface Tue 22-Jan-13 20:00:31

What career decision would you have to make ILoveMyCats? I don't mean for you to spill all on here, but just whether to stay in teaching or not? Whether to go for promotion or not? Etc. Sorry - just being nosey, but I felt I reached a point where I had to choose and TTC came into it (especially what will hopefully be the aftermath of TTC) and just wondered about other people's experiences of trying to teach alongside having kids?

Hope everyone is okay. I've just started a new job, but part-time, so should be a little easier to handle than my last job. FX. Now I can devote more time to getting upduffed! grin

ILoveMyCats Tue 22-Jan-13 22:14:50

No probs, bearface. I'm a teacher, but working as a TA & considering going back to teaching. My dilemma is that I'm bored and if we weren't ttc, I'd be looking to move on, probably back to teaching. But, I don't want to go back to a stressful job and find that I'm pg soon after and have to leave & not entitled to mat pay. Or, worse, find the stress detrimental to ttc.
It would be good to go back to teacher salary..... I've been applying for stuff that comes up, but nothing yet. I don't know whether to hold off & see if I get pg this side of the summer and therefore stay where I am. Any views appreciated!! Impatient enough already without the job stuff. Double uncertainty.

BeQuicksieorBeDead Wed 23-Jan-13 21:58:52

Hello Lovely Ladies,
ILoveMyCats I am in a similar situation to you - I am in a permanent teaching post which I really love, but we would like to move closer to my mum when (if!) we have kids...My partner would like to move this year, but that means giving up a perm post, hopefully getting something else when we move, but probably not permanent and I would need to work a year before maternity entitlement kicked in from the LEA...So I don't know whether to jump or sit tight! Ideally, if I was pregnant now, I could go off on maternity after the summer hols and move house then! (ideally she says, thinking about moving with a newborn!)
I am the main earner so the new mortgage would be in my name as well...so we probably couldn't buy a place unless I was still in my current post. Tricky!

On a positive note, the GP took me seriously yesterday and I am going in for blood tests to find out why my cycles are so weird. She thinks stress.

sparkle9 Fri 25-Jan-13 08:18:29

Bequick - I think maternity entitlement is based on continuous service which usually runs across LAs. Do check up on this but I don't think you would have to necessarily wait a year in a new LA as long as you have no gaps in employment dates.

doobeedee Fri 25-Jan-13 15:19:15

Hi everyone. Just got my BFP on first cycle of Clomid. Can't believe it but being cautious as still early days.

Bearface Fri 25-Jan-13 18:13:07

Oh congratulations doobeedee! Fantastic news!

Well, I'm doing supply ILoveMyCats so I'm totally stuffed for any kind of mat leave if I get pregnant now, but I decided that my last job was so stressful (plus a commute) that there was no way I was ever going to conceive being under that kind of stress, so I left anyway! Not sure how I'm going to survive for money if a baby comes along, but will have to just get on with it. confused DH earns just about enough for us to get by as we are, but then at the same time I don't know how I would manage to do my job full-time and look after a baby as well. It's so tricky, isn't it? But in the end I decided that I could probably pick up a job after DC is born (if it ever comes out of hiding!) so will deal with it then. Messy mess, eh?

ILoveMyCats Fri 25-Jan-13 19:37:24

Yes, bearface, I hate it. Was talking to a friend the other night (she told me she was pg with her second, naturally after IVF to have her first), she said she had to learn to stop putting her life on hold waiting to get pg. it can affect every decision from career to house moves to holiday destinations to buying new clothes (that's mine - why buy clothes now when I'll need big ones soon??).
I had a break from teaching & did other stuff, but came back to the classroom a year ago. There's part of me that loves it and another part of me that resents the lifestyle it necessitates.
Maybe I'll just have to go for it. Don't fancy the conversation with the head asking for time off for interviews and school visits.

Anyone doing anything nice over the weekend? Going to theatre tomorrow. Friday night is chip buttie night too! DH on way home with them.

Have a good one. I'm aiming to try not to think about ttc every second!!

ILoveMyCats Fri 25-Jan-13 19:38:06

P.S. congrats to dobeedee!!! Enjoy xx

marshmallowqueen Fri 25-Jan-13 21:13:09

Fantastic news doobeedee that's the 2nd bfp on this thread isn't it? A great start smile

Mrsblackcar Fri 25-Jan-13 22:14:35

Joining here, am a secondary head of department. Yes tiring, I am now in the week after my first ov, thinking it would be very unlikely to hit on our first month trying but still hoping.

And yes very very tired and looking forward to half term

sparkle9 Sat 26-Jan-13 15:42:12

Well we were waiting to TTC for a couple more months to build up a bit of money after an expensive house move. We are away this weekend and I genuinely forgot to pack my pill so maybe it's a sign to start now?!

Onesliceortwo Sat 26-Jan-13 18:54:24

Is there room for one more?! I'm acting head of a primary school - just a little stressful! I've just hopped off the 'due September 2013' bus as I miscarried this week. Trying as hard as I can to be positive but had a particularly tearful day today - here's hoping some positive thinking from this thread will help me along!

sparkle9 Sat 26-Jan-13 23:02:05

Sorry to hear about your mc.

But it's lovely to have you joining this thread. Will you be acting head for some time?

BeQuicksieorBeDead Sun 27-Jan-13 11:35:45

doobeedee amazing news! Here's to a happy nine months, be nice to yourself.

oneslice welcome... Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. My advice would be to take time off if you need it - I hurried back to school after mine because I was leading a residential visit with loads of hiking... and had a really tough class of 40 that I didn't want to leave to someone else to deal with. I think I really buggered up my chances of getting pregnant quickly after mmc because I put work first, despite all the advice from family and friends.

delilahbelle Sun 27-Jan-13 11:41:36

Hi fellow teachers
I have been TTC for 8 years, quite a lot of failed treatments in that time, I'm not on the 2WW from a DE IVF cycle. Transfer was Friday, I called in sick for it, as I have not told work about this cycle. I couldn't face telling my boss about another BFN or chem preg as I've had to do in the past.
So my question is, do I go in to work tomorrow, or do I call in sick again and go to the doctors and ask to be signed off? I'm sure I could cope if I was sat down in a nice easy office job, but teaching isn't like that... But at the same time I don't want to let work down, I had enough guilt about calling in sick on Friday.
WWYD?

delilahbelle Sun 27-Jan-13 11:42:31

Sorry, should say 'I'm now' not 'I'm not' above. Ham handedness over here.

BeQuicksieorBeDead Sun 27-Jan-13 13:12:39

delilahbelle ring in sick. And don't feel guilty, we do too much of that. You are well justified - you have got to give yourself the best chances, school will be there next week! I don't take my own advice obviously, but I should do!

Sparkle thanks for the advice, I will look in to it. Got a feeling it won't work if new school is an academy, like pensions, rights, pay etc etc etc... I am a bit scared of academies but all the jobs I see advertised seem to be academies now.

ILoveMyCats Sun 27-Jan-13 17:35:41

delilahbelle I agree that you should call in sick. I would go as far as to go to GP tomorrow & get signed off for two weeks. You won't even have to think about work that way. It is hard, I hated being signed off (not related to ttc), but ultimately felt better when I did go back rather than going back too soon & feeling worse for longer. School will still be there! You've already planted the idea on Friday. Their insurance will kick in for supply tomorrow, I think, so let them use it. This is too important for you. Also, you'll be closer to half term then. Good luck!

delilahbelle Sun 27-Jan-13 18:02:15

Thanks bequick and ilovemycats
Even though logically that school will be fine without me, and that I have to do everything to make this cycle work, I still get The Guilt at the thought of abandoning my classes.
I shall be strong though and will call in tomorrow morning, I've got to do everything I can to help these embryos survive, and the way I feel my lessons would not be very good anyway. I'm not exactly focused on teaching.

delilahbelle Sun 27-Jan-13 18:03:28

God knows what I do about cover though. Leave my HoD to sort it out I guess.

ILoveMyCats Sun 27-Jan-13 18:19:07

Yes, I know The Guilt. Would cover be any easier if you called this evening? Can you send in work now, so that you don't have to worry any more? I've done that in the past. They will all be fine without you. You'll be missed, for sure, but they will cope. HoD gets paid to sort these things out. Good to give as much warning as poss & would be appreciated too.

delilahbelle Sun 27-Jan-13 18:29:21

There won't be anyone in tonight, so no point calling in early. I'm going to write a rough idea of cover though so I can email it straight in tomorrow morning.
Here's hoping I can actually get a GP appointment tomorrow!

ILoveMyCats Sun 27-Jan-13 20:16:43

Good luck!

Onesliceortwo Sun 27-Jan-13 20:50:54

Thanks Bequick & Sparkle. Bequick - I will go into work - having had a pretty rubbish weekend the frenzy of work I'm hoping will take my mind off things a little, but thanks for the advice. Sparkle, I'm acting until September (here's hoping they actually manage to appoint someone by then!)
Delilah .... definitely take tomorrow off ...... in fact, get the doc to sign you until half term ..... then you're through the 2WW, you know either way and will have time for your head to get around whatever the results are. Just a suggestion, but worth a thought. Fingers firmly crossed for you - Good Luck!

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