How do you stop ttc affecting your life?

(44 Posts)
Happilymarried155 Fri 28-Dec-12 10:37:39

I'm so depressed, it's been two years and not a single bfp, a lot of friends are due this year and I just want to cry. I feel like I don't know how I can get through another year of heartbreak and the not knowing. We are starting treatment in a few months and I think that's adding to worries. How on earth do people do this for years?

twinklestar2 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:07:07

Happily - we should have an appt date in 4 weeks

loobloo Fri 18-Jan-13 21:52:11

After 2.5 years ttc, every month is like a sledge hammer hitting me down further. Not only is the arrival of AF a shock, as I convince myself I'm pg, it feels like my body is a) playing a sick joke on me and b) letting me down. It also seems the months I get more pg symptoms the heavier/ painful the AF is.

Soph80 Fri 18-Jan-13 21:35:39

I'm finding yoga / pilates is helping, especially the relaxation bit at the end. Trying to 'exhale' all my worries haha

twinklestar2 Fri 18-Jan-13 21:26:37

Oh and I have had blood tests and I've had the pelvic scan.

Happilymarried155 Fri 18-Jan-13 10:43:20

It's not too bad at the moment, I'm not feeling to depressed at the moment which is good and I'm hoping that this continues. I'm feeling more hopeful and it's not that long until April!!!
How are you getting on?

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 18-Jan-13 10:29:39

Just wanted to say good luck to you! And asking how the not-letting-it-take over is going.

Happilymarried155 Fri 18-Jan-13 09:35:09

Yes iui in April 3 attempts and then we go on to Ivf. But hopefully we won't get that far!
Will you have to wait long for your appointment? Have you had your blood tests etc?

twinklestar2 Fri 18-Jan-13 09:10:42

That is ace! I'm sure you won't be waiting too much longer now.

Oh does take vits but I'll specifically get the pycno.

No big news here. We went to the docs to get referred to the fertility clinic so we are waiting for an appt.

What's the next stage in April? IUI?

Happilymarried155 Thu 17-Jan-13 22:18:01

His morph went from 1% to 4% and the count was 4 times higher which is a relief, I have been pumping him full of vitamins for the last few months smile fingers crossed, but I am relieved!! Any news your end? smile

twinklestar2 Thu 17-Jan-13 21:47:29

Brilliant news! How much did his morph go up? So happy for you and fx for BFP before April :D

Happilymarried155 Thu 17-Jan-13 18:07:01

Hi twinkle,
Not sure if your still around but dh results came back, a million times better literally!!! His morphology had improved and the count and amount of motile sperm was four times better. The zinc and pycnogenol is obviously doing the trick! I'm so pleased and can only hope it happens naturally before our appointment in April! smile

twinklestar2 Wed 02-Jan-13 20:35:21

Thanks lemon and cold for your input. We've tried not changing our lives, then kinda changing our lives and neither have worked so I thought trying to get healthy can only be a good thing? I could do with losing a stone and oh was drinking far too much and we both let smoking creep back in again so a bit of a health kick / detox is needed.

Happily - we have docs appt on 15th to ask to be referred to next stage.

coldcupoftea Wed 02-Jan-13 09:21:30

It took us 2 years to have DD1- we were on cycle 5 of clomid and on waiting list for ivf.

I still remember how awful it was- a very hard time in our life. The only positive is that we now have 2 beautiful and much cherished daughters, who are so very loved because they were wanted so much.

I know it's a cliche; but the year I fell pregnant was the year I decided to stop letting it take over my life and I did accept invites for nights out, book holidays, stopped stressing so much about what to eat etc.

Good luck!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 02-Jan-13 09:07:57

Don't worry about the failed IUI, lovely ladies. It is very unlikely to work, IUI only has about a 10% success rate. But getting that BFP the time before really messed with my expectations this time round, so it was a bit of a disappointment. Particularly as since the BFP my intestines really seem to dislike progesterone and I was apologies for the TMI producing a lot of gas during the TWW, which was my single symptom when diffed. So we're just having a last go (number 6 for whoever asked, we got offered 3 natural, 3 SO IUIs, got BFP on first SO IUI) and then have a review at our clinic.

Btw I am not making NY resolutions about getting pregnant, had the fall-out from that one for two years running now. Also I don't believe in all the old wife's tales about peas and peanuts and whatever affecting fertility. My plan is :not overdoing the booze, taking my FA for one more year, not going to malarial areas (for our last big trip pre-possibly-IVF), eating generally healthily and keeping my weight where it ought to be by exercising. I really believe going over-board with all the maybe this affects fertility, and maybe that affects fertility, tales, is likely to make coping with long-term TTC so much harder. Nothing wrong with a health kick before treatments etc, but IMO lots wrong with being completely determined by TTC in too many areas of your life.

Waves and massive good luck to you all.

highlove Wed 02-Jan-13 05:55:38

Ah lemon I had been thinking of you. So sorry to hear it didn't work - it's just crap. I will keep my fingers and toes crossed this month is your month.

Happilymarried155 Tue 01-Jan-13 21:57:01

Don't know if there is any truth in it but I'm prepared to try anything!! No she just said at least two portions of fish a week, plenty if fruit and veg especially leafy greens like spinach. She also recommend zinc for dh to make sure his swimmers are in top form.

Basically the same as us then, month 21 for us. What are your next steps. Im sure il have a breakdown if I don't get pregnant this year!!! smile

twinklestar2 Tue 01-Jan-13 21:37:08

Didn't know that about oj and peas - will avoid smile What about OH? Anything he should be avoiding.

Now in month 18 sad

Happilymarried155 Tue 01-Jan-13 21:12:54

Sounds exactly like me! We are cutting down drastically on alcohol, switched to decaf tea and eating healthily. My Accupuncture lady said that orange juice is bad for women's fertility and so are peas! Don't know of you have much of those. I want to be in the best of my physical health when we start our iui!!! How long have you been ttc twinkle?

twinklestar2 Tue 01-Jan-13 21:00:48

Really sorry to hear that lemon.

Happily - our New Years resolution is to get pregnant. We are giving up our occasional cigarette, alcohol and going organic. Also giving up artificial sweeteners like aspartame so no more fizzy drinks or sugar free/diet drinks - it's all juice and water here. Cutting riiiiiight back on tea and coffee to one/two decaf drinks a day. I spent most of yesterday reading about foods for fertility.

Happilymarried155 Tue 01-Jan-13 20:33:29

Really sorry to hear that Lemondrizzle, how many times have you had it now? Here you have it three times before moving on to Ivf, we are due out first attempt in march.

I'm glad that you feel ok, I always find after the initial sadness of AF arriving that I feeling abit more chilled, the tww of symptom spotting sends be mad!!!

New Years resolution for me, eat better, drink less, stress less and get bloody pregnant!!!!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Tue 01-Jan-13 20:02:16

Just popping into say our IUI failed highlove. Another one and then either quitting of getting the big guns (=IVF) out. Not sure what we'll do... Anyhow. I always feel better hormonally once AF is here, so I am okay. Had a good NYE last night. And wanted to wish you all a good 2013, with BFPs and until then managing to cope, somehow!

twinklestar2 Tue 01-Jan-13 11:51:01

Good luck with the results x

Happilymarried155 Sun 30-Dec-12 16:47:05

Twinkle, yes he did we are awaiting the results should find out in about a week, if all is ok we wait until march for treatment if they are worse we get an appointment straight away. Sorry to hear AF arrived, I can't even say anything to make you feel better. It's so rubbish!!!' sad

I feel a little better today but feel like I am walking around with a bubble if sadness that isn't going to go away! I think I just need to learn to manage and get on with things!

Lambethmum Sun 30-Dec-12 15:51:42

Just wanted to say that I haven't been able to stop it affecting my life for the last 6 years, even though I have actually had 2dc in that time. After 3 1/2 years of unexplained infertility and 3 failed IUIs we did conceive naturally when we had sort of given up, but not really - I couldn't really stop imaginary symptom spotting etc every single period of that time. I then conceived 3 months into ttc again, which sounds amazingly easy, but was actually hell at the time - even 3 months was enough for me to drive myself and my husband mad with tests and panic, what ifs etc. And now it is starting again!

twinklestar2 Fri 28-Dec-12 22:27:10

Hi happily, sorry to hear you're feeling so sad. It's rubbish isn't it? Did your OH have his second SA? AF turned up on Xmas eve... V v hard sad

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