Is this normal in hospital?

[elliejjtiny]

DS4 (aged 14 months) had major surgery a week ago. I had to take DS5 (2 months) with me as he is breastfed so we were all squished into a cubicle. I wasn't allowed to leave DS5 at any point so had to take the buggy to the loo etc.

DS4 projectile vomited all over his cot in the night when I was feeding DS5. I couldn't sort him out one handed and didn't want to unlatch DS5 and wake everyone up when he started crying. So I buzzed for the nurse, feeling guilty. Nobody came so I buzzed again. I didn't want to leave DS4 but needs must so I went off to the nurses station where they were all sat doing paperwork. I asked for help and a nurse said she'd be there in a minute. I went back to DS4 and eventually 2 nurses came and cleaned him and his cot up. I helped the best I could with one hand.

I've always thought that nurses do the medical stuff for children in hospital and cleaning up my child's puke is my job. However my mum is horrified and said we should have been in a side room (which I think are reserved for children in isolation or children who are in hospital for months etc) with nurses feeding DS4, changing his nappy and doing all the things for him that I do at home. My mum used to be a nurse but hasn't worked on a children's ward since 1970ish when parents didn't stay overnight I don't think. Can somebody tell me I'm right .

[LEMmingaround]

I don't know but id be mighty pissed off if i were you. What if you weren't there would he have had to sit in his own puke? Since when did paperwork trump patient care?

[starfishmummy]

Sadly it happens because the nurses do seem to expect that a resident parent will do the non medical "caring".

And yes if the parent is not there the kids do end up sitting in vomit, or exploding nappies unless they can maake a fuss themselves.

And before I am flamed by nurses, I have seen this happen. I have experienced it (and complained) when ds was left lying in diarrhoea, and I was told there was no one to help me change him and hs bed as they were busy admitting new patients (the ward took a lot of day surgery patients).The nurse alocated to care for him that day was in a meeting all morning!! (DS had had major spinal surgery and I couldnt lift him alone).

[marne2]

Dd2 had to go to hospital once when she was about 2 years old, she had been vomiting for days and after being stuck in A&e for 4 hours we were sent up to the children's ward, we were given a private room because dd probably had a bug, we were shown to the room by a nurse and there we stayed for the rest of the day, no one checked on her, no one offered me a cup of tea. Dd has autism so I could not leave her alone to go and get a drink or to go and ask for anything, eventually I called my dad on my mobile and asked him to bring me in a sandwich and a drink ( by then I had not had a drink for 12 hours ). Finally at 9pm a doctor came in and discharged her.

So over all it was a total waste of a day and she would have been better off at home.

Also had a bad experience myself a few months ago after having surgery in a different hospital, after surgery no one checked on me, I was bleeding, the nurses were near by chatting about what they got up to at the weekend ( I could hear them but not see them ), in the end ( once I had come around ) I text dh to come and collect me.

[Badvoc123]

I would never, ever let a relative of mine be in hospital alone.
The most basic of nursing duties (making sure your patient is not lying in urine or faeces, not covered in vomit or in pain) are no longer practised.
And until nursing levels rise, and nurses are better supported with paperwork it will not change.

[Sirzy]

Whenever DS has been in hospital I have in the admission paperwork indicated that I am happy to carry out day to day care tasks for him. The only time I haven't been able to do anything was when he was in HDU (so even nappies needed weighing) I did as much as I could even then though. TBH I can't imagine not doing the basic care bits for him.

Any vomit/nappy explosions we have had over time the staff have helped clear up though - generally I clean him they do the bed.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

I work on a children's ward and generally the parents change their children's nappies. If they're not there then obviously we do it. If they ask for help then we help them. Obviously if a child has had major surgery or need moving then we would do it. I always help clean up vomit.

If DS was in hospital I would expect to change him, why wouldn't I? I do it at home.

The priority for side rooms are given to infectious patients or tiny babies, sometimes older teenagers.

[elliejjtiny]

Thanks, I thought I was right . I felt so guilty having to call the nurse to help me as I've always thought my child's puke = my responsibility. He's home now thanks and doing much better than I would be if I'd had that operation. Totally agree that paperwork is important, I just said they were doing that so people didn't think I was asking someone who was resuscitating a child to come and help me clean puke.

I do find that my mum has a slightly unrealistic view of hospital life in 2014. She still doesn't understand why I didn't want anyone except DH and the DC's to visit me on the postnatal ward. I was there because I was ill. If I was well enough to want visitors I'd be at home, they don't keep well people in hospitals these days.

[BobPatandIgglePiggle]

I would expect to do the 'cares' (nappy, food etc) if I was staying to free up some of their time but you needed help and you should have been helped no question.

Ds was very poorly when he was tiny and was readmitted at 4 weeks. I was sat with him in the middle of the night when his left side suddenly swelled up. I thought he'd had a stroke and ran for the nurse. She went for the doctor and came back to say he was busy in his office. I am normally really shy and unassuming but I was desperate and begged her to go back to ask him twice to come.

I totally understand that paperwork is important but I really needed him to come immediately.

[BobPatandIgglePiggle]

I also pleaded to be shown how to do ds' tube feeds as his nurse had 3 allocated patients. At one point he was being tube fed hourly. Feeds were taking up to 35 minutes + paperwork time, sterilising syringes etc and she obviously couldn't do him and take care of the other 2.

[BobPatandIgglePiggle]

I also pleaded to be shown how to do ds' tube feeds as his nurse had 3 allocated patients. At one point he was being tube fed hourly. Feeds were taking up to 35 minutes + paperwork time, sterilising syringes etc and she obviously couldn't do him and take care of the other 2.

[aintnothinbutagstring]

I would expect a healthcare assistant to help out with a job like that. Side rooms are based on need I guess or like you say, to be isolated from other patients. If there was room, I guess they would have put you in one especially since your ds has had surgery.

I've been on children's ward overnight a few times with ds, can't say I've ever had brilliant care, some staff downright rude and horrible, tbh I usually can't wait to get out of there.