Bedwetting 12 year old

[papalazaru]

My DS has never been fully dry at night - we have gone for months with no wetting only for it to return with a vengeance for 4/7 nights a week, then it'll disappear again. It is beginning to bother him more and more, especially as he had a dry 4 months over the summer and thought he'd cracked it - but now it's back.
I do not make a big deal of it, we manage it and I tell him he is not alone that there are many kids out there going through the same thing. However he really wants it to stop so we went along to the GP who has recommended an enuresis clinic. But I am having difficulty finding a consultant.
So can anyone recommend a paediatrician with an interest in enuresis? We are lucky enough to have BUPA insurance and my GP recommended I research the doctors at three local private hospitals but unfortunately none of the paediatricians list enuresis as a clinical interest. We are in SW London/ Surrey.
Thanks!

[PaulineWhatsername]

My DS was like this until he was 13. Then my XDP moved out and the bedwetting stopped forever. XDP was nice to DS, there was nothing bad going on, but clearly it had some emotional effect on DS.

[Tuhlulah]

I PM'd you yesterday.

[kd73]

The school nurse will have experience and be able to provide practical advice, speak to the school to request contact from your school nurse :-)

[Privatebanker]

Try looking on the Spire website. Search under Consultant, then paed urology. There are several hospitals in your region. You will have to click on each doctor's name to find out what their specialties are.

Has he ever been treated with an alarm? Worked wonders with my DS, but he was a bit younger. Good luck.

[zone6mum]

I don't have advice, just total sympathy. My DS (14) has an almost identical pattern. It's miserable and affects our family life in so many ways. It's hard not to let them know it bothers you. He has hit puberty and is utterly bewildered by his own body.

We don't have an enuresis clinic in our area so that's not an option for us. Please keep us posted. I'd love to know how you get on.

By the way, if you're looking for products, the Eric website does the most comfortable easy to wash bedding - www.eric.org.uk It's expensive but it doesn't rustle or get sweaty. We 'double up' his bottom sheet so he only has to remove the bottom sheet and water-proof sheet to reveal a dry sheet underneath.

Good luck and please let us know what happens.

[papalazaru]

Thanks for all your helpful replies. I know we are not alone which makes it easier for sure. I'll check out Eric for more supplies. He doesn't disturb me at all at night and just moves to the spare bed when it happens (bit of a bugger if we have visitors though!). But it breaks my heart when I wake him for school and he remembers then cries with frustration and shame that he can't stop this.....so unfair.
Anyway we have got an appointment now and have to keep a diary for a few weeks before we see the consultant. But we have done this before in the US before we moved. They advised doing a bowel clear out as there is a link between constipation and bed wetting. We did this and it worked - for a while. Then the pattern started up again. I am beginning to think it could be related to school stress as it always seems to get better in the school holidays. But who knows..... I'll keep you posted.

[papalazaru]

Tuhulah - can't pm you from my phone. Will send you a message when i can get on my computer. Big thanks!!

[redmapleleaves]

We bought the malem alarm from the Eric website for DS when 9, and 6 weeks before going on a 4 night school trip. he'd wet bed heavily each night before then, and the alarm (which had choice of noises, lights, or vibratinos and was attached to pyjamas) woke him up as started wetting bed. It was a miracle. In a week he was wetting less. By the time of the trip he was dry the whole time. Cost around £70 but a miracle.

[zazzabeans]

my ds is 11 next week and he wets the bed 2-3 times every night, we have tried both medications and the alarm to no avail don't know whats next

[piratecat]

dd was wet every night until she was 11. Then a very kind mumsnetter answered my thread last year, and told me about the bed wetting alarm that had worked for her son of similar age.
In fact she sent it to me, and it was so bloody kind of her.
I used it for dd for about a month and it only went and worked!!

You buy some thin pant liners and cut a line across before you stick the liner to the inside of some pants. You then pop the alarm into that split of the liner. The lead goes up and attaches to an alarm that you have pinned to the pj top, or in dd's case she preferred to wear a tighter t shirt. The weight of the alarm sometimes flopped if she wore anything baggy.

We started putting in in the dri nites but it was literally hit and miss. So the liners and normal pants were better.

She hated the whole procedure to start with, but after a few nights she began beating the alarm.

It was amazing, i'd given up really. She has been dry for a year or so now.

[Alanna88]

I can sympathies, all 3 of my boys are wet at night. Ds 1 is 11 and its really getting to him. I have no actual advice, as I have found nothing to work. To help manage it they all wear pull ups/nappies under their pj's, ds1 and 2 use drynites, which try to look like pants but are still a nappy. They are soaked each morning, like so full and heavy its like a brick. He got very upset when his friend noticed his 'pj pants' at a sleepover. He hasn't been nasty about it or told anyone but still he doesn't like people to know. I don't see it ending soon, my 5 y/old actually has dryer nappies than him. Hang in their your not alone. X

[Tuhlulah]

DS 12, still passing urine several times a night.

Have tried drugs and alarm, now using TENS machine for 14 week period.

Have consultations with both TENS nurse and consultant next week and week after that.

next Wednesday we are trying a homeopathist.

Should I let y'all know?

[Tuhlulah]

Sorry, a homeopath. (It's late!)

[piratecat]

not heard of tens machine. how would that work?

[Idohaveoneofthese]

My SIL is a McTimoney chiropractor and has helped children with long term bed wetting problems. It can be an issue of a spinal misalignment blocking the signal to the brain that they need a wee. If you search on the McTimoney website for one near you, some even specialise in children. I always check their GCC no., as the lower it is the longer they have been practicing (e.g. circa 1000 has 15 years experience)
Search here

[SanityClause]

Another vote of confidence for an alarm, although, I can see from the thread that it isn't always successful.

A thought - maybe its not the stress of school, but the eating habits of school days vs holidays? Is he more likely to be constipated in term time, because of eating fewer fruit and veg, or drinking less?

[Tuhlulah]

Piratecat - it's the same as the TENS machines used to block labour pains. It's used to stimulate nerve endings I think. It does make a difference -less output after using it.

DS has 'severe non-monocausal primary' nocturnal enuresis (small twitchy bladder, not enough hormonal messenger to stop urine production, and very heavy sleeper).

DH has this until 15, but consultant says spontaneous resolution doesn't always happen (as you know -loads of adults still wet the bed), and she is very supportive of complementary medicine, as she says she believes in holistic approach. So this is why I am trying homeopath.

[piratecat]

that's interesting. I have no idea what i would have done next had the alarm not worked.
It's not as simple is a thought. I do hope you all get good results.

[mary45678]

Get a good bedwetting alarm. I got a Chummie - www.chummie.com for my daughter and she stopped bedwetting. These things take time, but the results are great.
Good luck!

[Tuhlulah]

Bedwetting alarm may well work, but for certain causes, like if child wets once during the night and is too heavy a sleeper for the feeling of a full bladder to rouse the child.

It didn't work for us because DS wets several times. We were up four times a night with the alarm (which is loud enough to wake the dead, even with just a vibrate). It was just too disruptive, and not going to work for DS, who has small bladder, too much hormone making urine over night, and heavy sleeper.

It is worth a go, and works for many people, but is not a cure all.

And yes, constipation can be a factor.

Really, a child needs to be seen by a specialist clinic. (They check for things like spinal misalignment, Ido, as that can be a factor. Not for us though.)