Circumcision - really necessary?

[SingSung]

Hi,
Ds is 5 years old, very tight foreskin that balloons when he pees and doesn't retract in the slightest, occasional mild redness.
We were referred to a urologist last Friday who said he needs to be circumcised and has booked it in for this Wednesday.
I've read so much on the Internet and there's a lot of confliction opinions.
I really don't want to put him through the surgery, would 'prefer' him in uncircumcised iykwim, BUT if he's going to have to be circumcised then its better to do it now rather than later...
So the question is, what would you do / what do you think?
Thanks!

[musttidyupBeforeSantaComes]

Do it now. They are very reluctant to do this on the nhs so it must be needed. Will be much much worse if you leave it until he's older. Having said that, you can always ask for a second opinion but I know they don't undertake it lightly.

[redadmiralsinthegarden]

i resisted the pressure from my GP for my DS1. his foreskin retracted naturally at about 6 or 7.
i was adamant that i didn't want DS to be circumsised. i know of men that feel have struggled in adult life with the fact that they were circumsised. And most of the time it appears to be unnecessary.

[chocolatetester1]

A hard decision but if it needs doing, don't worry. Kids heal quickly, both my boys had it very young and healed completely within 5 days. They had the plastibel method, neat and quick. We had a private surgeon at the Portland hospital as it was done for cultural reasons rather than medical. Imagine yours will be on the NHS as its for medical reasons, so the same surgeons but for free, so just as good a job. Good luck.

[RancerDoo]

If a doctor told me to do it, I would follow that advice.
It is a relatively minor op and 'redness' does not sound nice.
A lot of the info on the net is dross (and the doctor has examined your son).

[MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain]

IME there are conflicting opinions on circumcision for non-medical reasons. It seems your son has good medical reasons to need it done TBH, and could potentially face many recurring infections/scarring in the future if it is not done, possibly end up having the circumcision anyway as an older child or an adult.

By all means ask to discuss it will another urologist if you feel a second opinion is helpful for you, you can cancel this op and ask for it to be rescheduled while you decide for certain. But I wouldn't hesitate to get DS done if he had similar problems.

FWIW someone I know very well had it done as an adult and it was not very nice TBH. Stopped the recurring broken skin and pain though.

[SingSung]

Tricky decision, thank you for your opinions.
We're in Singapore at the moment, so I'm not on home turf...
Sounds like as much as I'd like it to sort itself out it might be kinder to go ahead. Have until tomorrow to make the call!

[paddyclamp]

I wouldn't do it! I read somewhere on here that there it was seldom medically necessary as there are a fair few other things they can try first, eg stretching, creams, even an op that's a compromise...will see if i can find a link!

[TheAccidentalExhibitionist]

We have the same problem with my son, he's had multiple episodes of Balanitis.

Our paed gave him Diprosone cream 0.05% Betamethasone. It's a cream that stretches the foreskin as Paddyclamp says.
It gets used daily for 6 weeks stretching the foreskin a little more each day. You have to be careful to put the cream on the foreskin only not on the end of the penis.

It actually worked on my son but it takes effort to sustain as he will have to keep stretching it otherwise it can shrink back.
FWIW I think we are still going for the circumcision. My son, now aged 9 has ASD and very poor hygiene. He found it too traumatic to practice stretching it and it has tightened again. I feel he will continue to have ballanitis episodes which will get worse as he gets into his teens.
Good luck OP!

[Furball]

Ballooning of the Foreskin

Ballooning of the foreskin while urinating can be a normal phase of development during childhood. It is not an indication for circumcision. Ballooning is a temporary phenomenon that arises when the foreskin begins to separate from the glans. It speeds the process of separation and disappears when the process is complete.

taken from this website

[MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain]

That website though Furball, is a very firmly anti - circumcision website. Not really the right place to look for unbiased information. FWIW I am also opposed to it for non-medical reasons and see it as a form of genital mutilation.

But when it is a clinically indicated medical treatment, it is totally different, IMHO.

[SingSung]

Thank you... I just don't know... Dh thinks its a necessity. Will show him that link- thanks.

[Suzannesee]

Without hesitation I would go for it. You have had good advice the NHS doesn't circumcise without good reason. They were unwilling to circumcise my nephew when my sister first reported the problem. Their unfortunate 'wait and see' policy finally ended in his inevitable circumcision which meant he endured about three years of unhappy bouts of suffering and a much more painful procedure that if it had been done when he was younger. Consider yourself fortunate they are offering an early appointment to get it over ASAP.

I really don't understand why being circumcised is looked on as such a misfortune to be avoided in this country when in the US and elsewhere it is routine. Millions of men throughout the world are circumcised and are very happy to be so, and I'm glad I'm married to one!

[paddyclamp]

I think you'll find it's no longer routine in the US

[rosiesmartypants]

SingSung has anyone discussed partial circumcision with you, and if it is a possibility in your sons case?

I know a grown man who had this done, as a 'happy medium', maybe possible in kids too? It relieves the pain and pressure, without taking it all off iykwim.

[Furball]

Suzannesee - the op is in singapore not the uk

[paddyclamp]

Rosiesmartypants Do you mean a Preputioplasty?

[SingSung]

Hi,
Yes I asked about a 'partial' and the Singaporean consultant said that there's more chance of infection.
Tbh, I think it's the consultant that I'm not sure about, so I shall get a second opinion in the full realization that it probably has to be done. But I'd rather not feel rail roaded into the op with five days notice. He has no infection in the moment so not in any pain.
Since being here I find the local dr's quite money orientated, whilst a generalization (apologies if I offend anyone) but they always seek medical intervention as we have to pay!

[TheAccidentalExhibitionist]

Some countries over treat as standard unfortunately, I live in one of those too. Trust your judgement on this, some times it's worth doing something more subtle like a 'partial' as an infection can be cleared easily but a circumcision is for life..

[Debster7808]

Hi SingSung,
It sounds like your son is a classic candidate for circumcision. It is a pity that he is at the age he is if circumcision is the next step. In any case, so many millions of males in the world have had their foreskins removed for all kinds of reasons, what your son will go through, if he does get circumcised, is just what about a fifth of the male population of the world have also gone through. Being circumcised is a very common state to be in, even if it is not the 'norm' in a lot of countries. In many countries, it is the norm, and where it is, most are happy with it. I have a husband and two boys, all of whom are circumcised, and we're all very happy that this is the case.
Good luck with your son. He'll be fine if he does have to be circumcised. It really is no big deal, and lots of people think it's better, my family included. Good luck.

[SingSung]

Thank you very much, all of you, for your thoughts and experiences.

The result is that he didn't have the op today, but he will just after Christmas with a different consultant, who he and I just felt better with. He actually spoke to my son rather than ignoring him!

Thank you again!

[TheAccidentalExhibitionist]

Good news, sounds like you feel a lot more comfortable with the new surgeon. Good luck for the new year.