Mumsnet Discussions - Nanny 20 weeks pregnant when she started job!!

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Nanny 20 weeks pregnant when she started job!!

(131 Posts)

By Wed 04-Nov-09 23:41:04 Add message | Report | Contact poster

Get this... I have just gone back to work 3 days a week, started on 1st September. Found lovely nanny. DD and DS love her. She has just told me she is... wait for it... 28 weeks pregnant and due on 23rd Jan!!! She was 20 weeks when she started, apparently did not know until she was 22 weeks. You may well be wondering why I did not notice her bump. Well, dear MNers, she is very generously upholstered and you can't tell (yes, really). Nanny loves job and DC and wants to take a short time off and come back to work with the baby.

I was initially supportive but DH dead against it. DD aged 6 and a breeze but DS aged 2 and very hard work not to mention has speech delay and needs nanny's full attention for his speech development and Makaton signing etc.

Do not want to pay nanny top whack to look after her own baby in my house and put her newborn baby's needs ahead of my own children's. Cannot imagine that this is anything other than problematic.

Thoughts anyone?

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Wed 18-Nov-09 14:14:28

I think it's any sick leave in the final 4 weeks that triggers automatic maternity leave, not just pregnancy related illness. Probably best to double check that point.

If you can determine when she should go on leave, why not ask her to leave from the earliest point (i.e. week 29) and get a new nanny from then on? That was you are not having to worry about her going into labour on the job.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 17-Nov-09 22:49:51

i am a childminder and i had my daughter around 37 and half weeks mayb 38 and a half. i work monday to thursday so when i finished on thursday i inteeded to start back on monday but my waters broke the early hours of friday morning. at the time i looked after 2 boys 1 who had just turned 1 and the other who had just turned 2. sometime i did get tired but i rested when the 2 of the went for a nap which was usually at the sametime. also in the afternoons i would just take the child out on random walks about to stop me sitting at home and feeling tired it also helped to the the almost to year use to walking at once my daughter was born he was out the pram and onto buggy board. so it may not be that bad letting her wrk right up.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 17-Nov-09 20:03:40

Hi ya
She knows about the rule where if she has a pregnancy related ailment past a certain point the maternity leave automatically starts. That applies to office workers too - of course. What is upsetting her is the fact that she could hire someone to start from X date as maternity cover, then if the nanny goes off and the person can't start earlier it's getting cover for that period or taking time off. When you have limited time off per year, this isn't actually a minor inconvenience. Her husband is a teacher, like my DH, and can't help.

Maybe just postpone the temp appt til nearer the time? Also not exactly a relaxing route but it might be the best option.

Of course this can't be helped - and as I said in her shoes, probably I'd try to work as long as I could too.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 17-Nov-09 18:20:50

Harriet - think there is something in the maternity leave rules about what happens if someone takes off a certain amount of time sickness as a result of pregnancy... that after a certain point, maternity leave starts regardless of what was previously agreed with employer. Found it... see BusinessLink: When maternity leave can begin
It's only if the absence is after the beginning of the fourth week before the Expected Week of Childbirth.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 17-Nov-09 18:03:34

Harriet, yes, really worried about Nanny working until 37.5 weeks as she wants to. I had DS at 32 weeks. Might try altering her leaving date if fantastic candidate wants to start earlier but again rocking boat dangerous IMO.

Am weak with worry over all this and spending all my energy on making sure everybody OK/ Nanny not about to lose it/ burst into tears/ go on long-term sick leave/ go into Labour in middle of school run. Walked out of door yesterday looking like scarecrow. DH has added no value thus far and I am not holding breath. He has magnanimously congratulated me on handling of situation however... great.

On positive note, weight dropping off with stress. Size 10 pre-baby trousers now fit like glove. grin

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 17-Nov-09 10:34:58

There is nothing my friend can do about this, accd to her HR department. Is really worried about the nanny being exhausted towards the end or even what she will do if the nanny goes into labour(which I can understand, my DD2 was born at 35 and a bit wks). I would be curious if other people have been in this situation.However, if I were facing only stat maternity pay I suspect I would do the same thing. And of course in an office you're allowed to. I caused a lot of inconvenience to my colleagues, it has to be said, not being better organised when DD2 came (thought I'd be late again).

Another offshoot from orig discussion sorry.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 17-Nov-09 10:30:27

So could you say, no you can't work until 38 wks (as my friend's nanny intends to) you have to start it by X (if you got a good temp lined up?)

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 17-Nov-09 10:27:00

Interesting parallel with landlord and tenant law. Re point 5, only sanction for not telling you by 25 weeks is that she is not able to start her leave when she wants. eg Nanny tells you at 28 weeks she is pregnant and says she wants leave after 32 weeks. You say no, she can take leave from 36 weeks, she is thoroughly grumpy and then is off sick from 32 weeks anyway... like I said small employer screwed all ways. Other overarching prob is that she is looking after your DC and you must keep good relations and avoid risk that anything you do or say can be seen to be discrimination. Yes, Nick I have letter in writing.

Blood pressure going up all the time and presentation critical to job progression on Wednesday morning.

Otherwise life is just a walk in the park (NOT) hmm

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 16-Nov-09 16:31:30

I wondered that, Blondes. It doesn't sound like natural justice, as tribunals would put it. Things should be fair, not weighted towards one side or the other. And women should be a bit more professional. 'I was scared of telling you' doesn't really cut it IMO. One just has to bite the bullet and explain. Like a grown up.

Nick, it was two years ago but I just bear grudges a long time ... grin

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Mon 16-Nov-09 11:07:13

so what is the point in having the 25weeks rule if when you dont tell your employer that you are pregnant then it doesnt make any difference hmm

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Nanny 20 weeks pregnant when she started job!!