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Acceptable responsibility for a nanny?

(45 Posts)
StiffyByng Sat 01-Dec-12 21:10:50

I'd be grateful for nanny opinions on whether this would be a reasonable set up. A friend and I currently have 18 month olds, at nursery. We are both pregnant and due a month apart, and live on the same street. Neither of us can afford two sets of nursery fees so are considering a nanny share. Would it be OK to ask a nanny to look after two one year olds and two three year olds? We'd hopefully have the three year olds in pre-school for half the day.

StiffyByng Sun 02-Dec-12 12:52:44

Partly because in an ideal world I'd have a full time nanny as I like the fact that they concentrate on my child(ren) more, and partly because it costs less than two sets of childminder fees round here. Also as I said my friend lives four doors down so it's no strain at all to drop off and pick up and we spend lots of time at each other's houses anyway.

nannynick Sun 02-Dec-12 12:56:35

So it's going to be cheaper, which is certainly a benefit. Though I guess that will depend on finding a nanny who will do it for the salary you want to offer.

StiffyByng Sun 02-Dec-12 12:59:17

Even at the £18 gross quoted on here, it's cheaper. We were going to take advice on salary from an agency or two as we are utterly clueless. I know the going rate for an experienced nanny round here for one family is £10-12 net so obviously it needs to be higher than that.

This is still a way off and not set in stone. All your input is really helpful.

forevergreek Sun 02-Dec-12 12:59:48

You say you have an older child with disabilities, and a carer for them. But I'm assuming you look after them and other child alone at weekends? Could you consider getting a nanny just for your house who have experience with special needs an can look after all of your own children?

I have had 3 children in one family with eldest having a disability and it worked fine. I'm assuming by this point the eldest is at school during a chunk of the day, the 3 year old could still go to am preschool or not if you wanted, and 1 year old at home. So a nanny would have all for an hour or so In am and say 3-6/7 pm in the afternoon. That possibility to me is just as possible as a nanny share. ( if your elder child uses a wheelchair one person could push chair, sling baby, 3 year old walk, and you say a car is available anyway).

If your work offers childcare vouchers you can use them against paying part of a nannies wage if they are ofstead registered

StiffyByng Sun 02-Dec-12 13:04:17

Hi forever. That wouldn't really work. Our eldest is very severely disabled and her care is paid for by the LA. She uses a wheelchair, is partially sighted, brain damaged and has a feeding tube and stoma. It takes both of us at weekends to look after our existing children so asking one person to do it alone would be very unfair on them. To be honest, she may not actually be alive by the time the arrangement kicks off either.

LadyHarrietdeSpook Sun 02-Dec-12 13:41:53

OP if it helps our nanny was looking for £14 (net I believe, as she was getting feedback from the nanny agency) for this sort of arrangement.

So I think you're about right with expectations.

Good luck with everything. Your description of your area sounds like it would work well for a couple of years.

minderjinx Sun 02-Dec-12 14:29:21

Sorry to hear your eldest is so poorly Stiffy. That must be a huge worry for you.

forevergreek Sun 02-Dec-12 16:36:58

Sorry to hear that also. Yes if the la pay for her care then your previous Nannyshare idea is probably best. If you can afford to maybe try and get someone to start before you both finish maternity for say 6 weeks so the elder two can get used to them and the arrangement before adding he younger two.

Just as a side, as a nanny I would still be happy to care for your eldest if you ever need to look for someone outside of what you have, so I'm sure others would also but is obviously harder to find.

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 02-Dec-12 18:25:14

sorry to hear about your eldest child sad

at £18gross thats £9 each plus employers ni, plus kitty extra heating/food/petrol/insurance costs- are you saying that cm's in your area are more then £4.50ph?

StiffyByng Sun 02-Dec-12 19:24:49

Hi. Sorry to sound so emphatic! My stepdaughter's physical needs aren't really the issue - she has dementia so takes an awful lot of attention - tends to do mad things, needs reassuring every five minutes etc. Bearable with the other kids for short bursts but I wouldn't want to sign someone up to it every day.

Childminders are about £50-55 per day here, so for two kids, I'd be paying at least £100 per day. So the nanny is perhaps not outright cheaper, but cheaper for the difference in what you get for the money in terms of control, convenience etc. Lots of the childminders round here have assistants and run quite big operations. I'm sure they're brilliant, and like I said, I think they'd be our choice for at least two days a week, but my daughter's current nursery is small with a 2-1 ratio, and I'd like to maintain something like that as much as I can. I have to say, this discussion is making me think seriously whether we could really stretch ourselves and just get our own full time nanny for a bit extra.

Doesn't gross include employer's NI by the way? Actually, we pay NI for our carer from our Direct Payments on top of her wage, which is taxed from her, so I suppose I should have known that!

StiffyByng Sun 02-Dec-12 19:25:51

And forevergreek, you sound great. It's good to know there are nannies out there like you. We had a lot of trouble finding a carer for our eldest, but I think 15 hours a week rules a lot of people out as they want full time work.

marriedinwhite Sun 02-Dec-12 19:34:29

Neither of you can afford a nanny. Would a child-minder be a better option perhaps? Personally, as the mum of teenagers, I think it is too big an expectation. 4 small children and two sets of parent relationships rather than one and presumably if neither family can afford their own nanny and things are tight, the perks are likely to be a bit on the thin side too.

I'm over 50 and have been driving for 30+ years. I find driving a largish mpv quite overwhelming at times.

nannynick Sun 02-Dec-12 19:50:09

It's like the Direct Payments situation... you register as the employer (if you are not one already, which in your case you are) and you operate PAYE, so pay the nanny a gross salary from which you make Employee NI and Employee Income Tax deductions. You pay Employers NI to HMRC, so it's a cost on top of the Gross salary.

Would childminders in your area provide just 2 days of care... maybe something to look into, which would then help you decide if you should look for a full time nanny, and share (or not share) them with your friend.

OutragedFromLeeds Sun 02-Dec-12 21:13:57

I would consider using the nanny for the full five days rather than getting a childminder as well. Could you afford a nanny just for your children for the 2 days a week? For 2 children you would only need to pay £10 net ph I would think and the higher rate just on the 3 days a week you share. I think having your older child welcome a sibling, move from a nursery to a pre-school, then have you go back to work, then bond with a nanny and then have a childminder as well, may be a bit too much. Better, if possible, to have continuity of care.

StiffyByng Mon 03-Dec-12 00:26:13

Our car is only an S-Max. It's easy to drive!

We can both afford the nanny share. We just can't afford two sets of nursery fees, which for just three days would be almost £2000 per month. So other options need exploring.

My little girl would at least have it all staggered. A year between the baby arriving and me going back to work. Probably pre-school starting around the same time as the nanny but I wouldn't be full time for about four/five months after I go back, so not all at once luckily.

My husband is anti-childminder which is why I wanted to avoid it as a full time option, along with my own feeling that big childminding operations sit halfway between nursery and nanny. But I think we need to work out exactly what we're after. I know kids who split their time between nursery and childminder and seem to enjoy it-most childminders round here do mostly part-time places from what I understand. But I would prefer them to be with the same person if at all possible of course.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Mon 03-Dec-12 01:39:55

If I was a nanny - I'd rather do the full 5 days for you, with the 3 days of shared care with the other family.

I think I know where you live Stiffy, does the museum begin with an H? If so I can probably recommend a few good agencies in your area. Let me know!

StiffyByng Mon 03-Dec-12 11:30:24

It does! That would be really helpful, thanks. We could at least have a chat with a couple of them and get their views.

Have sent you a message!

sunshinenanny Tue 04-Dec-12 21:25:43

I often used to work with these sort of ages and ratio's and yes I loved it! But not sure about the share aspect of it as everything has to jell just right.smile

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