first pregnancy and home births advice and experiences wanted

[iwillbepgbydec2007]

hi all. i am just looking for a bit of advice and personal experiences of others.

basically i am neary 10 weeks pregnant so have a lot of time to decide. i have told the midwife at my booking in appointment i would like a hospital birth but having thought about it i am now not so sure.

i know for a fact my hopsital is over run with pregnant women and i am facing probably only having one scan on the nhs because of this. i do not fancy having my baby in an over crowded hospital where the doctors and nurses are stretched and i possibly may have to wait for attention when it might possibly be required urgently. and also the risk of contracting mrsa bothers me slightly!

if i opted for a homebirth i feel the care would be more personal and it would be a much more relaxed atmosphere for me and my dp to have our firstborn.

i have discussed my thoughts with family and friends and i would say the majority are advising me against homebirth for my first reasons mainly being "i am totally unaware of the pain i am going to have to face" "somthing may go wrong" "i might not be able to reach the midwife in time" (we live 10 minutes from the hospital)

i just dont know but i want to do the best by me and the baby.

your thoughts would be fab!

thanks in advance x

[lulumama]

there have been threads on this recently, so if you do a search you'll find plenty of info

firstly..congratulations on your pregnancy! i'm guessing by your name, it is a much longed for baby.

secondly, it is impossible to transfer from hospital to home for birth, but you can transfer from home to hospital...so if you thin k you want a home birth, then book one, you can always change your mind!

homebirth site here should also be useful

you might also want to think about having a doula for extra support, before , during and after delivery, who can also transfer in with you, should you need to go in, and are worried abotu lack of support in hospital doula uk

and do lots and lots of empowering reading about birth

Ina May Gaskin

Sheila Kitzinger

Janet Balaskas

Penny Simkin

you must do what you feel is right for you, and don;t be scared into doing something that other people think you ought to

the majority of first time mums who transfer to hospital from home do so because they feel they need more pain relief, not because of anything dire going wrong

also, you can have birth pool , gas and air, and even pethidine or meptid if you need it

as regards the pain, you might be amazed just how much pain relief you get from being able to move around as you wish, get in and out of the bath/ birth pool or shower, massage, and just being in your own environment

and you get to clean up in your own bath and get in your own bed afterwards

wish i;d had a home birth

[mckenzie]

I had a home birth with baby no 2 and with hindsight, i so wished I'd pushed for one with my first child (pressure from DH and others not to).
I think your personality comes into the choice a bit. I'm a bit of a control freak (in a nice 'Monica from Friends' way I think) and so being in my home where I was in charge (or so I thought) made me so much more comfortable.
Ditto Lulumama's advice. If you think you might want a home birth then opt for it as you can change it to hospital birth at any time. But you can't change hospital birth to a home birth at the last minute, certainly not where I live anyway.

Good luck and hope you enjoy your pregnancy.

PS. if your DP is concerned about your choice he can always talk to the midwife as well. My DH had a long chat with mine before he felt comfortable with my choice for baby no 2. Now he says he is so pleased that he was persuaded to go along with it. It was a great experience for all of us.

[cheritongirl]

hello there and congrats on your pg.
I had a HB with my first baby 8 months ago and it was as great an experience as birth can be i think! For me, being in my own environment, having a birth pool and not the hustle of a hospital was the best thing to get me through a long labour (i was in hospital twice at beginning of pg because i was v ill and realized then that i didn't like it much!). Also having a great supportive mw and dh helped and a DOULA - would really recommend having one if you can afford it - lulumama will tell you more !
As you say, you have plenty of time to think it over and there are of course some situations where having your LO in hospital is best for both of you, but if you are low risk then being at home is wonderful.
Do your research (read the books recommended below) and come to your own decision - mamy people also said to me "is that wise the first time?" but i think as long as you have an open mind and are prepared to transfer to hopsital, it is a great option. All the very best to you

[eca]

hi there
I had a hb with first baby 10 weeks ago and it was WONDERFUL!! I had a lot of opposition to my choice. Even one of my mw's was very negative. But I considered it all and felt that it was what I wanted. The thought of being in hospital really made me uncomfortable. Ok...

pain - my mws were big on this point. When I said I was squemish of needles/blood and a bit of a wimp mw was saying I really ought to go to hospital. Another was labouring the point that I don't know what it will be like etc etc. WELL I did it with zero pain killers. The only thing I had was a tens and I only used it for about 1hr. I used active birth techniques - breathing/movement etc and coped really well. So well I didn't realised how far on I was and had to call mw in a bit of a hurry when I started wanting to push . I had pethadine on standby and was willing to give g&a a go, but there was no time in the end.

dangers One mw -who was supportive of my hb- chatted through what could go wrong. She said the main 2 things were 1- baby needs resuscitating, she said that they are trained to do it, but don't have the drugs they do in hospital. And 2- I would bleed excessively. Then they would call ambulance and put me on a drip and take me to hospital. I felt happy with both these things. And I understood that as it was a hb if the mw's had concerns they would transfer me to hospital sooner rather than later IYSWIM?

care You get 2 mw's with you the whole time, all through. I thought that sounded so much better than a busy hospital mw.

afterwards the most wonderful thing was using my own bathroom. Not having to worry about cleaning it first, or what I might catch. Not having to walk across a ward. Not having lots of other people around. AND dh not having to leave us alone and go home.

As you can see I'm very pro and had a wonderful experience. We took things really slowly. Didn't come downstairs for 3 days. And I think that helped ds have a smooth introduction to the big wide world.

Having said all this.. I think if a woman would feel safer and more relaxed in hospital then I think she should go to hospital and will probably have an easier labour there. It's important you are where you want to be.

And you are really early on too, you may feel differently nearer the time. I had a few probs early on and was considering a hospital birth incase of complications. Remember you can change your mind at anytime, but it's easier to change to a hospital birth from a hb plan because of mw's arranging to be on call IYSWIM.

Ok, will shut up now! Congrats on your pregnancy