Still hopping mad about my birth experience (10 weeks later!)

[rachelhill]

Title says it all really. I wanted a lovely laid back birth in a community birthing centre, no doctors, no drugs, just gas and air, husband there, midwife quietly cheering on from the sidelines (needless to say this was my first baby).

Instead I got......

(1) Pre-eclampsia (only symptom I was aware of was a big headache and I reckon my blood pressure was only up because the flipping consultant would not believe me when I insisted they had my due date wrong and I was a week overdue).
(2) Admitted to a big scarey hospital 35 miles away from home and left in a lounge in the delivery suite (no rooms available) for three hours with no medical supervision after husband was told 'she's very sick, she needs to have the baby tonight to save both of them'
(3) Poked by FOUR consultants none of whom could even reach my cervix to get the gels in.
(4) Poked AGAIN by same four consultants who decided the next step was to break my waters at 1 cm dilated (they did after five hours of trying every hour and it hurt like hell) Why oh why do they think showing you the frigging crochet hook thing will set your mind at rest!? All I could think of was 'abortion hook, I'm fishing in your fanny'
(5) Told I HAD to have synotocin because I was really ill and not knowing any better reluctantly agreed. Was told to have an epidural. I had had some early labour pains and didn't think they were too bad, so I said I'd like to try for two hours on entenox and then finally said, yes please I'd like one now please....quickly if you don't mind.
(6) Anaesthesthiologist turned up...took a quick history and said: sorry no drugs for you my dear (I have a blood clotting disorder) but you can have two paracetamol. WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? I HAVE A BABY SHOOTING OUT MY FANJO AND YOU OFFER ME A HEADACHE PILL?
(7) Senior consultant then turned up and turned up the syntocin again, I stopped climbing the walls and instead started clinging to the ceiling while quietly sobbing to myself and begging anyone who would listen to whack me on the head with the oxygen tank because I was seriously tired and had been having contractions every two minutes for six hours. Husband given toast and coffee, I was denied food and drink because I was 'sick'!
(8) After TEN HOURS of above, midwife checked me again - on her way HOME because I'd been trying for so long and said: 'well there's progress, you're 3 cms dialated' - lost will to live at this point.
(9) Nice consultant on day shift turned up. Consultant took one look at me, turned off the syntocin and said, 'right, this isn't working, would you like a caeasarian' - could have kissed her for turning off the drugs. Could not keep my eyes open was so tired. She shook me awake long enough for me to say yes. Next time I woke up, the contractions were still there, and ouch they were worse, every 30 seconds now there was an nice man putting an epidural in (they decided it was worth the risk), he told me that the pain would go away in 20 minutes and could I keep still. I replied, yes, would be happy to, would he mind whacking me with the oxygen cylinder though because I'd really like to be unconscious. He refused and said I had to stay really still while he put the needle in and bless him, he managed to do it between contractions which was good because I was sucking down G&A for England.
(10) Husband sent off to phone people to update them, told that I would be given two hours to sleep first so I could 'enjoy' the birth. He went off and twenty minutes later new midwife noticed a drop in my daughter's heartbeat and they all panicked and rushed me into theatre. I was exceptionally lucky that husband came back when he did because they weren't prepared to wait, they threw some scrubs at him, wheeled me in and ten minutes later my daughter was born and this bit was BLOODY MARVELLOUS! There is no feeling like seeing this little yelling creature fit and well.
(11) Oh it's not over yet. Admitted to ward. Husband had words with them and offered them money to put me in a private room because I was so tired and it was so noisy, they did for one night. Then they transferred me into a ward full of pre-eclamptic mums to be, who didn't exactly look delighted to have a baby thrust upon them. The reason for the move. Apparently it's hospital policy to put women who have had preeclampsia in a ward with other mums in case they have a fit and die and no-one notices (so to be clear on this, you are relying on OTHER PATIENTS to monitor the vital signs rather than nurses?!) As it turns out, someone died two years ago in this hospital in these circumstances and wasn't discovered for twelve hours because the midwives thought the mum was 'sleeping' and only went in to check because the baby was crying a lot!
(12) In my notes it said: ALLERGIES: MORPHINE, PLASTERS, CO-PROXAMOL. Guess what? I woke up with a wraparound plaster over my wound, which lead to a nasty allergic reaction, it's still not healed. My skin blistered on my back from the epidural and from the front from the dressing on my c-section scar. Nurses offered painkillers, I took a look at my chart to see what I'd be prescribed. Ooh a choice of Morphine, co-prox and yep, two paracetamols (I'm starting to think they are joking here but no, the midwife confirmed that this was what I'd be written up for!)
(13) Four days later my liver was functioning at 1% normal, as in proper eclampsia, do they step up my monitoring just in case I fit, no, they do not, they in fact only check my blood pressure and how I'm feeling at shift changes. (Twice in 24 hours). Next day my liver was functioning at 4%, and they sent me home (!) TBH I would have checked out anyway because I would get better medical care from my cat!
Sorry that was very long, but I needed to get it off my chest. In retrospect I should have refused the induction and said, if I can't have the birth I want, I'll have a c-section now please and no you can't sent a search team up my fanjo to search for my cervix thankyouverymuch! Certainly next time I'm going to be much more forthright on my views.
Thank you for reading ladies. If any of you are preggers believe me, of my cohort of people pregnant at the same time, my experience was BY FAR the worst and honestly getting a healthy baby at the end makes it all worthwhile but I'm still very blooming mad about it all.
Rachel

[BuffysMum]

Poor you, by baby number 4 I cracked the system and had a fantastic birth! I too am allergic to plasters which made for some very interesting tape on one of epidural things took 2 weeks of scrubbing to get the sticky bit off - but the allergic blistering is so horrific.

Big hugs glad you felt it was worth it

Here's to a better birth next time!

[lulumama]

hi..just had a quick scan of this, will read when slightly less busy !

but

go through your birth notes and get answers and responses as to WHY!!

and

contact either

birth crisis

or

birth trauma organisation

to get debriefed on the birth.....

i also need to put my glasses on to read such a long post !

[Plibble]

Sounds horrendous and you are right to be angry. Do you feel better to have got it off your chest?

The worst bit is when people say "oh, but it was worth all that, wasn't it?". In my case, I quell the urge to smash a chair over their heads while yelling "No it bloody wasn't. I would have had the ceasarean right away if I had known what it would be like, instead of waiting 30 hours so that I was too tired to remember my baby being born!"

Bet you're already planning what you will do differently next time, though, aren't you ?

[controlfreaky2]

forward the nhs trust chief exec a copy of your post! oh go on.... you may feel better for it.... congrats on baby. enjoy her.

[marymillington]

Holy moly that's awful.

You're darned right to be mad.

You need to give the hospital some feedback on this. Try PALS (patient liason service). The people who are managing and delivering this need to know this stuff.

Glad you are ok now and have your lovely little girl.

[Judy1234]

Very hard. My sistser hired someone to go into the hospital and kind of advocate for her and get things as she wanted them. The lady was very good. For my last birth I hired an independent midwife. They were at home with me and then in hospital delivering me and that worked well too although they aren't allowed in all hospitals.

[lulumama]

do you mean a doula, xenia?

[LaDiDaDi]

You have my sympathies, esp with the pre-eclampsia. Mine came on really suddenly at 32 weeks, I remember putting my make-up on in the morning thinking I had put some weight on round my face, by the evening I had dd, the wasn't fat it was fluid and I was swollen up to the size of an elephant!

The obs looking after me were really good when I was sick but my medical care once I was back on postnatal ward, after 48 hours, was hopeless with no consistency to managing my bp or taking my bloods at all. I was begging to go home but the buggers kept me in a week whilst they messed about.

[TuttiFrutti]

Rachel, what a horrific experience. You have my deepest sympathy.

10 weeks is still very recent, so it's natural to feel very raw after the terrible time you had. Things WILL get better with time, but I think a traumatic birth is like a bereavement and the feelings never go away, they just get easier to live with.

I second Lulumama's advice to contact Birth Crisis or get some sort of counselling. I had a bad birth and I wish I had done this. Mind you, my second is due in a month's time so I'm hoping the second birth will be a lot better and put to bed the demons from my first one. I am much more assertive this time - you are right when you say you learn from experience to insist on what you want.

[LittleMamaT]

You poor thing - sounds horrendous. I too agree with Lulumama about contacting Birth Crisis - it's really important to talk through your experience with someone trained to listen rather than just with friends/family who although well-meaning, may not say the right things.

[TisTheSeasonForSnow]

I had an awful birth (no-where near as awful as yours) and i really felt like i'd let myself and DH down.
However the hospital did a 'birth listening experience' - sounded crap but i went - it was one-to-one and the snr manager of the ward went through my notes, bit by bit, explained why they had done things, and why they had made certain decisions etc.
It really helped me ... perhaps its worth asking your hospital if you can go and speak to someone.

PS: I also got one of the midwives a bollocking because of her behaviour!!!

[rhubarbcat]

Were you at Derby by any chance?

[hertsnessex]

As a doula (like lulumama) id also recommend birth crisis. i had a similar exp to yours with my first and birth crisis do do great debriefs. just someone to talk to who solely listens helps.

good luck.

cx

[TisTheSeasonForSnow]

Sorry no, i was in Warwick

[rhubarbcat]

Sorry, I meant Rachel

[FrostyTheSnowMarsLady]

Definitely talk to birth crisis. You really need to completely de-brief. You've had a horrid experience that should have been a much much better one.

I think it's good that you posted. These things need to be aired even if no one can do anything about it.

I'm sorry that your first birthing experience wasn't what you hoped for... but do hold on to this... each birthing experience is a different one. Just because this one turned out to be traumatic there is no reason for any subsequent births to. If you can have a doula with you for next time, then I would highly recommend one. If not a doula, then certainly have another voice to speak for you. It's tough the first time that you give birth. You don't know what to expect and what you can or can't refuse.

Remember.... there is no reason why subsequent births have to be the same. Each one is a new experience.

[Galmum]

rachel - OMG - to be honest it sounds like a bloody pantomine. sorry to have such of a rant but you have more than enough reason to be fuming! In terms of the induction and birth, I don't know enough to say whether they were being crap or you were v.unlucky in that normal procedures/techniques did n't get the outcomes they normally do.

BUT - I think I know a fair bit about how hospital/clinical procedures work.

I think there are major major fuck ups - in standard clinical procedures. I am a bit of a medical Mum and have spent A LOT of time in hospital with my son. I think you should contact the patient liason service at the hospital - maybe called PALS - find out about how to complain and bring it to their attention. If you can face it - you should, because they need to know that the sytem did n't work.

1. A doctor prescribed drugs you were allergic to. Does not matter what you are in for - this is a mistake of the utmost seriousness and could and does result in the death of patients. The doctor should have checked the allergy section - either they did not or someone did not fill the booking in/background details correctly. In your case - maybe your allergy is n't too bad and you were awake when they came to give or discuss drugs, but what if the situation was different.
   
   Please tell me that once this was discovered - the midwife looked fairly horrified and went off to contact the on duty doctor, that a doctor came to change and delete through the incorrect perscriptions immediately and discuss with you other pain relief options and if there were n't any, explain why. Any nurse/MW worth their salt should have been on the warpath with the doctors.
   
   
2. I imagine that there would be a standard protocol to follow with eclampsia. I don't what that is, but I find it hard to believe that it would be observations every 12 hours. At minimum I would have thought it should be every 8 hours and possibly 6 hours. Also what should the obs have been - blood pressure, temperature, talking to you about symptoms, maybe oxygen levels in your blood (taken with a plaster/red light thing on end of finger normally).
   
   I remember having observations after the birth of ds - possibly every 8 or 6 hours. They came and did them in the middle of the night, because the mw commented how I did n't even wake up with the bloood pressure machine! I had had a vaginal delivery and syntocin drip, no epidural and that is the level of checks I got! It was a very busy post natal ward but they definately did more regular obs than you got for my 24 hour stay.
   
   I do have to defend the hospital on one thing though - putting you in a ward with lots of other patients. It's a sensible thing to do. Even with 4 hourly obs, they cannot be there all the time, but in a busy ward where visitors/mw and doctors are going about hospital life , it's an extra level of security that you in the thick of it.
   
   After my son came out of intensive care post a liver transplant, we were on the ward (YES!) right next to the nurses station. He was having high dependency nursing for the first bit, but it meant for the whole stay I was right next help if it was needed and they could see him easily, as well as doing the formal checks and obs. It seemed crazy to me that we were n't in a room, but in the end I appreciated the extra security from nurses and doctors being constantly around. In a less than perfect world, it is a really sensible thing to do.
   
   I hope you can come terms with the birth trauma - the writing up of drugs you were allergic to has got me really worked up!!

[grouchyoscar]

Bloody Hell, that sounds totally horrendous it really does. Big big hug to you and congats on DD

I would submit your experience to the Head of midwiffery at your hospital and the head of your local PCT. It was your birth and your child and you should not be made to feel like that

Thankfully, I had a fab birth experience but I only got it because I was a bloody minded pain in the arse who asked a million questions, wanted a million answers and even discharged myself after 9 hrs of contractions as the monster of the maternity unit were treating me like a number rater than a patient. I blame Margie Clarke for influencing me as an impressionable teen in 'making out'.

Hope your feeling happier

[rhubarbcat]

Its not unknown for doctors to write up incoorect doses or drugs, including ones that the patient is allergic to. Thats why midwives and nurses (should) always check before giving anyone any meds, not just giving it because its on the prescription.

Having eclampsia actually involves having a seizure. I've only ever seen one case of eclampsia and the lady in question spent 4 days in Intensive Care.

It is standard practice in most (all) hospitals for any woman with medical problems or post lscs to not have a single room postnatally. I'm sure some hospitals maybe do allow it, but generally not. In a bay, not only are the other women able to alert staff if someone collapses, but the midwives themselves are in and out the bay more. NHS can't afford to have a m/w sat in every single room 24hrs a day.

I've never heard of anyone having liver function of 1%. Could it be the one of the tests ie your AST or GGT came back as 1 iu/L? I'd have thought anyone who's liver was only workign at 1% would be close to death, certainly seriously jaundiced and probably in need of a liver transplant.

[JessaJingleBells]

Hopefully you found putting all that in writing a bit cathartic rachel....

I really would contact the hospital to tell them about this...failing to notice documented allergies is a significant problem has the potential to lead to serious clinical incident. I think a lot of the 'other stuff' is more about the way you were spoken to/things were ( or weren't) explained etc and it all sort of builds up into one big almighty f*ckup! Taken on their own most probably wouldn't have upset you so much??
Certainly not trying to suggest you are over reacting NO WAY, the way MWs, nurses, Drs etc communicate is really important to quality of care.

Do contact the Trust through PALS or the complaints route ( via a letter to Chief exec - will be passed to complaints mgr who will likely pass to head of midwifery or Obstetrics to investigate)

[rachelhill]

Hi everyone, am one finger typing so this may be short (bfing dd at the minute).

It was at Oxford JR. I contacted PALS and they have given me the number for their 'birth afterthoughts' service to discuss. Really I just want to know why so many things seemed to go so wrong. I do think clinically they made the right decisions (except for giving me the wrong drugs).

FAO Rhubarbcat, I only know what the midwives told me re my liver results. I felt totally fine -mainly euphoria at having a baby I think - and not at all close to death before and after labour so god knows what was really going on. All I know is they wouldn't let me go home and I desperately wanted to get away from Jeremy Kyle which my ward co-inmates were blasting out on their TVs. Also I thought it was pretty cruel to the other pre-eclamptic mum to bes to have someone who'd had a bad birth experience and was still sick after delivery, complete with noisy baby, on the same ward...although I guess they'd at least have been prepared for the worst!!!

Thank you all of you for your replies. A lot of people round me have been of the 'best not dwell, it's over now' school of thought but I needed to vent.

DD says Ah-goo to you all

Rachel