Baby Blues - any way to avoid them/lessen the effect?

[maltatheterrible]

I've read a bit about this "baby blues" phenomenon, and it seems that around day 3 after babys arrival I am going to get a bit teary and emotional for...maybe just 1 day, maybe a week.
This is only really worrying me because I've suffered with panic attacks before, got them under control now, but really don't want to feel that emotionally unhinged again.
Does anyone have any tips on how to reduce/avoid getting too loopy please?

[shhhh]

I don't think you can avoid them tbh. They are hormonal and perfectly normal.
I didn't think to much about them till around 2 days after dd was born and I found I was crying at EVERYTHING..!! Just go with the flow. Its your body's way of dealing with the hormones and change. They don't last to long and as long as your dh/dp is aware so he can help and support you etc.
Make sure the baby blues don't turn into weeks etc as then you need to speak to someone. I had the "baby blues" for around 6 months till I realise and admitted to myself that it was something more and I had pnd.
Be honest with your mw and hv and speak to them about your concerns.

Above all relax and enjoy being a new mum..!! Its brill..!!! BTW I am about to do it all again with baby 2 in Jan07..!!

[Galmum]

Not sure if you can really "do" much.

My advice would be to make your home your sanctuary - limit visitors to really close and nice family! and limit how long they stay so you can really focus on resting and bonding as a new family. I felt really battered and sore after the birth of my ds, but I loved the feeling of being at home with dh and ds.

Atleast when the house is quiet and calm, if you feel a bit emotional and down, you can have a good cry, a cuddle, a bath and snuggle down with the family. You don't have to put on a show for anyone.

Also don't expect them to be that much of a deal - you won't necessarily feel that low - I did n't - felt a bit emotional but in a good way as well as a teary way! It is a really special time and I loved it.

PS Friend dropped off an amazing chocolate cake - that helped too!

[pinkmama]

I agree with Shhhh. Think they are fairly inevitable. I just made sure that I didnt have too many visitors for the period that the baby blues had come in the past. Just remind yourself that it will pass in a couple of days. Also, as Shhhh says, make sure if it goes on you do talk to someone. I also let myself believe that I had baby blues for a few months before I had to admit that things had got out of hand and it was actually PND. Good luck with the baby, and hope all goes well. Enjoy.

[madmarchhare]

Cany really do anything about it but if it makes you feel better, I suffer with panic attacks/anxiety from time to time as well and I didnt have any attacks shortly after DSs birth.

Tbh I fely fine most of the time and just had occasional outburts, eg, crying (and a bit shouty ) because I had to wait too long for m/w (20 mins rather than the 15 she had said) to discharge me.

Dont worry yourself about it too much, just make sure you have people around you to cushion any of the tears and frustrations that may or may not come.

[maltatheterrible]

oh OK, I guess that doesn't sound too bad (pathetic watery smile emoticon)
I'm just a bit nervous about going to pieces and not being able to look after my baby properly.
MadMarchHare It's very reassuring to know that you didn't get panicky, hopefully I will be the same if I just manage to keep my breating under control!

[Twiglett]

I don't think they're inevitable .. and I hope that helps

after DS was born my hormones significantly crashed on day 3 and I had a crying jag and a panic attack .. the trick is to breathe through it and remember its a natural phenomenom .. it is not you going loopy and it is nothing 'serious' happening . it is just a re-adjustment

I don't recall any 'crash' after DD at all

HTH

[brimfull]

I have heard that people susceptible to pnd may be lacking in omega 3 and 6 oils.I realise that you're not referring to pnd but thought I'd just throw that in.

[maltatheterrible]

It does help, thank you. Just knowing that other people got through it and it wasn't that bad. I just hate the idea of being "out of control" but I guess I will just have to ask DH to keep an eye on me.

also like Galmum's idea of medicating with chocolate cake

[lulumama]

remind yourself that the baby blues are a result of the massive hormonal changes that happen after birth....so you are not going loopy!!!

tell your midwife/hv of your concerns and hopefully they will keep a close eye on you afterwards and be able to allay your fears....

[accessorizequeen]

Hi Malta, i can understand you're anxious about this, panic attacks quite a nasty thing to go through (I have myself). Although I must admit I didn't find anything panicky about the baby blues, it was more weepiness.
Another mumsnetter suggested homeopathic remedies when we were talking about pnd, specifically Pulsatilla for weepiness after the birth. I got some from Boots (they've got 3 for 2 on homeopathic remedies, Holland & Barrett do them too. Might be worth a try?
More information

[Jam77]

Hi Malta - like others that have posted I have suffered with panic attacks in past (was admitted to hospital with one as passed out and was on anti depressents for a year (this was all a few years ago) anyhoo my doc at the time even said "you will probably get PND" nice....was a stupid thing to say but the point of my ramble is that like you I was terrified of getting low/panic sticken again...(I am first time mum of DD 11 weeks ) I did get the blues around 2 weeks after giving birth but it helped that I told myself it was normal and would pass...and it did after 3 days I had stopped crying at everything and feeling like I wanted to run away at times...stay positive hon - hey you are creating a life inside you, keeping it healthy and well and after bringing it saftely into the world you are entitled to let your emotions go haywire x

[monkeymonkeymoomoo]

I've had depression and panic attacks in the past so was dreading getting PND. Spent hours discussing my concerns with the MW, GP and HV prior to the birth, I think because I was so concerned and kept the above people informed they kept a closer eye on me and as such I felt very supportive and knew that if anything did happen something would be done quickly. Would recommend this approach if you feel you can talk to someone.

[maltatheterrible]

thank you for all your kind/helpful replies so far. It seems that anyone who has experienced panic attacks is a bit nervous of them re-occuring after the baby arrives.
I shall take all advice to heart, especially letting my midwife know about my concerns. She's great, whereas my dp doesn't really understand.
He gets a bit frustrated when I can't explain how I'm feeling, and why I can't just "stop" feeling that way.

[KRabbit]

I had my baby on 30 November and I've been feeling tearful and miserable. Its made worse by not getting enough sleep!

I'm hoping it will pass because I want to feel like myself again so I can enjoy my baby.

[elibumbum]

You have a big shift in hormones on day 3 as your milk comes in.

I got tearful for a couple of days from day 3-4. I remember my Mum warning me as she left my room after visiting hours on day 2 that I should expect to feel 'blue' the next day and sure enough I was - although I did need to be reminded that it was the 3rd day blues again on the day!

My advice would be to make sure everyone around you is aware that you are likely to feel emotional etc and that it is perfectly normal and it should pass. It wouldn't hurt to make them aware of the symptoms of PND either.

[Sakura]

I disagree about the blues being hormonal. we have a hormone change, thats true, but its our environment that leads to depression. I gave birth in a country where post-baby blues are almost unheard of. First the aftercare here is amazing- you are massaged regularly and treated like a queen for a week.
Then at home (bit annoying but) the extended family comes round and you are not allowed to lift a finger in the house for 40 days. You are not really allowed to go out either.
Ive suffered depression before so I thought Id be a prime candidate for PNd but it just never manifested.

[lubella]

Nutrition Nutrition Nutrition

I don't think it is emphasised enough that eating habits - not just the food itself but times you eat and how you eat, can help so much with Baby Blues and some would say even PND.
Remember to take time (I know easier said than done!) to prepare yourself light fresh foods bursting with vitamins and minerals, and drink plently of water, this will lift your seratonin levels and help you to feel better and give you more energy to go on.
Also - make sure you are sitting down and relaxed when you eat even if it's just for 20 mins. Try and get as much fresh air as you can, Don't fight the urge to cry if you need to and generally just take care of your self.

[lubella]

Just wanted to add also - think about what you have just done, you have created another person from scratch which you are also (if you choose too) continuing to feed. All this has drawn upon massive resources within your body and it will take a while before you re-plenish all the goodness you have lost. This physical change can have a huge psychological impact on some women it's only natural....

x

[Dophus]

I would like to emphasise the 'keep your home your sanctuary' advice. I was inundated with out-laws and couldn't handled it. (5 days after CS I had an infection and a houseful of 9 overnight guests, all drunk).

Let people know now to avoid causing offence. Next time I will have a no overnight rule. Last time 2 days after leaving.

Let the tears flow - I cried at everything for two weeks, more often tears of joy but frequently sadness

[thebecster]

I was really worried about this before I had DS as well - history of depression & anxiety...

I made sure that I had lots of support - I got a post-birth doula who was AMAZING. And I gave DH the job of keeping visitors at bay, which he did wonderfully. On day 3 I cried at a World Cup match (England weren't even playing), and then cried because I was finding breastfeeding really difficult. And then cried because my baby boy was so beautiful that I couldn't believe he was mine. But looking back, it was one of the happiest days in my life Hope that helps.

[maltatheterrible]

wow - that sounds pretty intense! I'm not so worried about the crying, more about the panic attacks which I seemed to have beaten making an ugly re-appearance.
Will remember to eat good stuff and keep the visitors to a minimum, I love fresh fruit and veg so if anyone asks - they can only visit if they bring me things from the grocers!

[MerryPiffmas]

Not a given that you will get them
I never had them either time.
Rest, support around you will help.
xx

[poshbutdim]

I only suffered with the blues with my second dd, and I think that it was because I was slightly under prepared for her arrival!! I chose not to breast feed in the first instance so bought all the bottles and teats, but forgot to get different flows as not all babies have the same requirements. So by day three her poor feeding etc....and my tiredness lead to me feeling quite inadequate and low but when I really thorght about it I could have had more control by being prepared.

Accept any help offered and forget about the hoovering as people really don't care about crumbs on the carpet, but if they are show them where your hoover is kept lol!!!!

Take care

[lulumama]

i think sakura has hit the nail on the head with a lot of what she says

i can't remember the last time i heard of a woman in england or in a traditional western household being treated like a queen after the baby arrives !

it is almost like a competition to see who can be up and about, doing it all, quickest after the birth...having the chance to rest, relax and recover from the birth and enjoy the baby while someone else takes care of the house etc...would be a boost to any woman !

being supported and nurtured after the birth can have a really positive effect on your state of mind after the birth...!

[Sakura]

Yes, Sheila Kitzinger (sp?) says that many doctors are reluctant to prescribe anti-depressants to mothers with PND, because there is a suspicion that the drugs take the place of what the woman really needs; mothering of the new mother.