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Childbirth

FED UP!!! WANT TO RUN AWAY!!!

10 replies

kdinas · 10/10/2006 14:56

I am so fed up with everyone haveing an opinion on how I should be coping with this pregnancy, and how I should be considering everyone else when it comes to how I have this baby, and not even think of myself!
I just want to run away andhide out somewhere, have the baby in peace and quiet. I want to bond with the baby, keep him all to myself for a few days, and then come back. I don't want to talk to anyone, I want to feel tired if I feel fecking tired, I want to sleep without feeling guilty, I want to cry if I feel like it, and I don't want to hear any comments from anyone. I especially don't want to hear the following:
'My sister had a baby, you would never know, she bounced right back';
'so-and-so is tired, but then she did have twins, you are only having one';
'you look rough, but then some women are weaker than others, you can't help it'(I kid you not);
'If you were active, you would have the baby sooner, and wouldn't have such a big stomach' (wtf?)I am 35 weeks, what do they want?

I don't want to attend the hospital for ob appointments, my health is fine, I have not got GD, why do I have to talk to doctors all the time. All they want is to talk me into a c-section, I have had that discussion at every appointment!NO MORE!!!!!
Can't I just have this baby on my own!!!
PLEASE??

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chocolatemummy · 10/10/2006 15:00

omg
may i suggest you change your .....erm SUPPORT network lol


you do it girl, whatever it takes, because at the end of the day the babies coming out of YOUR vagina and its you who will be looking after it 24/7, and you have to do whatever you need to do to cope and feel happy

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BIGlilBUBU · 10/10/2006 15:11

I just used to smile and nod and let it go through one ear and out the other. Its the only way. I got told so much crap when ds was newborn and when I was pregnant.
I was told some really stupid things...one guy I know said to me "everyone I know that smoked when they were pregnant had healthy babys, and everyone I know that stopped has something wrong with theres" I mean what a stupid thing to say.
My friends dads new girlfriend told me that she weaned her daughter at 12weeks and her son at 5weeks aparently he was "a very hungry baby".
Your guna hear some strange views just ignore them....Hope you feel happier soon xx

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kdinas · 10/10/2006 15:11

I know chocolatemummy.
I think I am having a really bad day, have not slept properly for about a week, had 4 hours sleep last night, youngest ds is ill, so not napping well, and not sleeping at night, and I feel really low today.
To top it all off, have found out, for various reasons, I have to move out in around 4/5 weeks. I think this has pushed me over the edge. I can't thik how I will cope with that. Ds2 is not very good with change, and I can't cope with the packing etc.
All I can think of now are negative things, and I feel stuck in a dark place.

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Eliboo · 10/10/2006 15:11

Don't listen to them, put your hands over your ears and say 'LALALALA' very loudly - makes me when people feel impelled to fix tired, emotional, fed up pregnant people (eg me) with platitudes and nonsense. And besides, it doesn't work.
I'm knackered, huge, and fed up and I'm 'only' 32 weeks. I know I'm going to need help (even my bf, a supercoper, keeps telling me how she managed alone with her two - but she's NOT ME) and I've finally given up justifying it.
Hugs to you, if you want them, and you have that baby however you choose and feel however you feel. Sounds like you could use some different support and/or some space...hard to come by at 35 weeks, I know...

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Eliboo · 10/10/2006 15:13

xpost....no sleep, sick child, ah, thought I could relate to your post
I hope you can find some help for the move - that would tip me over the edge too, what crappy timing. Any chance of it being brought forward or postponed?

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kdinas · 10/10/2006 15:24

Ah ELiboo, I read your post abour ob appointments, but didn't want to fill it with my bad mood vibes.
If I try to postpone the move or bring it forward, I risk homelessness, so no choice there I am afraid! It makes me feel really grrrrrrr!
I have been ignoring all the comments etc, till now, but itis not working. It would be far better if I shouted obscenities back.....well it would feel good for a few seconds,hehehe
I have been trying to control myself since 32 weeksish, now I am fit to explode. Mentally and physically!
Am even wondering why I thought having baby was such a good idea. ds3 is only 18 months old, and is not walking. I will have two babies.

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Eliboo · 10/10/2006 15:39

I think late pregnancy is grrrrrr enough (and scary/overwhelming enough) without moving, parenting an 18 month old, or unsupportive pals: if you havent' shouted a few obscenities already you're amazing! No, risking homelessness doesn't sound like a good idea at all.
Funny how people get scared of their friends/family being overwhelmed....bet some of those comments you got were people's own panickyness. Not that that helps much.
Do you have any help lined up with your 18 mnth old?

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Lio · 10/10/2006 15:40

We put off visitors until I was ready and only silly people will mind waiting to see you and your baby.

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Toady · 10/10/2006 20:44

why dont you write a letter with the heading

"I REFUSE TO DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE NEGATIVE"

Then list everything you want and do want.

Finish it off with something like that you hope they are supportive of YOUR decisions and if not BUGGER OFF

Give this to anyone you think that needs it before they talk to you.

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PurpleLostPrincess · 10/10/2006 21:08

Bless you!!!

When I fell pg at 16 (many years ago) everybody was forcing all sorts of advice on me, it was a nightmare!!! I'm now on my 3rd pg (I'm now 29) and my philosophy is that EVERY pg is different and nobody can tell you how you should feel or when to feel it. It makes me so angry to hear that people are treating you like this. I do hope things improve and that you find a way to communicate your feelings effectively. The suggestion by Toady sounds great! I've only just found this site and it is brilliant - everybody is so supportive!

Just remember, you are your own woman, you know your body best and this is YOUR baby - not theirs!

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