Has anyone given birth to a large baby without tearing?

(89 Posts)
Sheldonella Mon 11-Mar-13 16:08:44

Just that really. I'm 40+2 and just had a midwife appointment. I measured 41 weeks and asked how big the baby is likely to be. She said most likely going to be big and with regards to the birth I can "have a go". I suppose she meant she expects me to need intervention or a section. I'm quite upset now sad

lilmamma Sun 31-Mar-13 00:00:29

oh and no stitches smile

lilmamma Sun 31-Mar-13 00:00:08

I was told my third was defently a 10lb er, bought 0-3 months clothes, and she was 8lb 5oz, with a wardrobe of baggy clothes :P

AMR73 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:27:37

Have also heard that the midwives can't tell what size baby will be until it comes out.

I had second degree tear but I did't feel anything while baby was being born (waterbirth) and just a bit uncomfortable after. They say that water softens the tail end and helps it to stretch.

Marie Mongan book on Hypnobirthing def work a look.

syl1985 Wed 27-Mar-13 19:10:29

All my children were big at birth.

first son: around 37-3800 gram
second son: around 4 kilo
third son: around 4.5 kilo

I never had any tear nothing.

I lived in Holland when I got my first 3 boys.
Healthcare there is so much worse then over here. Every year to much newborns die or are stillborn due to to late medical intervention.

Nothing went wrong with my first child.

The second:
He didn't made the turn and they needed to do something quickly as he was stuck in me and without oxygen.
By this he broke his arm.

My third they looked at his size and he was going to be even bigger. Still nothing was being done. I asked with 37 weeks if it was possible that they induce me. But there was no need for that. Everything was going to be fine.

With result my son came with 40 weeks and was even bigger. Didn't make the turn and they had great difficulty with getting him out.
He didn't brake any bones, but he had been to long without oxygen. He was unconscious for 2 minutes and then he had to go in an incubator.

The first 48 hours we didn't know how he was going to be or if he had any brain damage.
I was so furious on my gynecologist who know he was so big, but didn't do anything to stop this from happening. Nothing I was able to do about it as I soon discovered he followed the guidelines/rules.

Then I came to live over here in England. I asked my GP if it was safe for me to have another child in the future. He said that here in England they wouldn't take the risk. Here they will look at the size of the child and if he gets to big they're either going to induce me or I'll have an cesarean.

No country is perfect, but be so thankful that you live over here. Especially if you're a parent. Healthcare and schools are so much better over here then in Holland.

I really think Europe should tick Holland on the fingers for the rubbish healthcare and schools. How can they sit back and let to much baby's die every year and become disabled simply due to rules that must be changed.

Then childcare is horrible.
About one in 40 households do get into contact with childcare. They take the children away from the parents so easily.
Even a depression is enough reason for to take the children away from the parents. Only some will get their children back, but most parents loose the kids and are able to see them once every month for just an hour.

Are you depressed during your pregnancy then they can take the child away straight after birth. Some mothers never even have seen their own child because after the cesarean the child was taken away and that was it.

I'm very thankful that we're able to come and live over here.

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 24-Mar-13 09:37:24

Also, a few drops of tea tree oil in the bath really help!

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 24-Mar-13 09:35:51

I had second degree tears with both babies, 7'15 and 8'1 and honestly they healed fine. It obviously wasn't pleasant at the time but it was ok fairly quickly.

marthabear Sun 24-Mar-13 09:19:26

I feel cross at your midwife for putting this negativity into your mind. These throwaway comments can have a huge impact on a woman's confidence. Her assessment of baby's size is quite subjective anyway. Listening to your body rather than being told to push, and gentle pushes with the guidance of the midwife at the actual time of birth is possibly the best way to reduce the chances of perineal tears... no matter what the size of the baby.

TreadOnTheCracks Thu 21-Mar-13 14:09:16

Congratulations ! A lovely bouncing baby by the sound of it!

Floweryhat Wed 20-Mar-13 14:57:03

Congratulations smile

mimmymouse Mon 18-Mar-13 22:14:07

Many congratulations, Sheldonella!

seeker Mon 18-Mar-13 18:39:08

I had two big babies- 9.9 and 10.6. I did tear both times and had stitches, but it wasn't too bad, honestly. I recovered quickly and apart from the tears had easy labours and births. Happy to say more if you would like me to!

Flisspaps Mon 18-Mar-13 18:27:15

Congratulations.

A tear isn't the end of the world, if you do find it gives you issues later on then get yourself over to the ragged bits thread, but hopefully you'll recover just fine (I did) smile

Sheldonella Mon 18-Mar-13 18:20:54

Hi everyone.

Well I said I would come back and update. She was 9lb 1oz. Due to needing help with forceps I was cut and I tore. This may not have happened if my labour had progressed a bit more normally but no matter, I still have a healthy girl and all is well.

Thanks for all your words of wisdom, they were a huge help.

mamaduckbone Sat 16-Mar-13 21:49:00

I'd agree with the feeding and sleeping in the early days as well, although it didn't last. My ds slept for 6 hour stretches 10 til 4 at a week old and fed brilliantly-he was a dream!

mamaduckbone Sat 16-Mar-13 21:45:07

Ds2 was 11lb4, no tear, no intervention. Luckily I had a fab anti natal midwife who was completely convinced I could have the natural birth centre birth that I wanted, even though I was 11 days overdue and enormous. She didn't tell me quite how big she thought my baby was going to be for fear of putting me off, which it likely would have done. I'm so grateful to her-with a different midwife I'm sure I wouldn't have ended up having the positive experience that I did.

TreadOnTheCracks Sat 16-Mar-13 21:30:18

Anecdotally I agree with ladygaga my big baby fed and slept like a dream.

TreadOnTheCracks Sat 16-Mar-13 21:29:13

DS was 10 lb, had several late growth scans, his head circumference was off the chart.

Had to be induced at 40 +8 Easy birth though, 6 contractions and he was out. Little bit of tearing, I think because it was quick.

I agree with the poster above who says gravity helps with large babies.

narmada Sat 16-Mar-13 21:10:59

My big 'un - only 9lb tho- was much easier than my 7lber. Tore with both but deffo did not feel it either time and altho the stitch-up was not my idea of fun after childbirth it wasn't so bad. Tears and episiotiomies generally heal amazingly quickly.

Numbthumbs Sat 16-Mar-13 20:58:36

DD 7lb 10oz and DS 9lb, no aftercare needed at all for either.
I kept active throughout and gave birth on all fours, maybe that helped.

Try not to think about it, baby has got to come out somehow grin

TurkeyDino Sat 16-Mar-13 17:16:26

9lb13 and not a scratch on me! You'll be fine!

5madthings Sat 16-Mar-13 17:14:32

Ha ha at bigger babies sleeping longer stretches...

I think their size helps sometimes birthwise, not because of their strength but because of gravity!

Mine all held their heads up ftom birth regardless of their size.

Floweryhat Sat 16-Mar-13 14:41:56

I'd love to see the research evidence to back up your post LadyGoneGaga. It's a nice idea, but doesn't ring true to me...

LadyGoneGaga Sat 16-Mar-13 10:40:56

Big babies are much stronger than little babies. You can easily tell that when holding newborns. The little ones are generally quite floppy for ages whilst the bigger ones can practically hold their heads up from birth. Because they are stronger they can help themselves be born much more. When I was giving birth to 9lb 8oz DD (second baby) I could feel her pushing against the top of my uterus with her legs. A very odd sensation but it helped (3.5 hour labour, 20 min second stage). I think I would have got away without a tear too but she was a bit too eager and had her elbow up by her head for good measure. Even so I couldn't feel it happening and healed well.

And big babies often feed more efficiently and sleep longer stretches in the early days. So there's lots to be said for them!

LynetteScavo Thu 14-Mar-13 21:35:25

I gave birth to a baby with a really big head, and only needed two stitches. (First baby)

Don't be upset by what the midwife said....they can be way off! Nature, most of the time, make a baby which will come out of the mother OK without intervention....would be stupid not to!

lucywiltshire Thu 14-Mar-13 21:30:18

It doesn't really hurt if you tear anyway TBH! You wouldn't feel it during the labour and they give you a local anaesthetic if you need stitches afterwards, and anyway you won't really care what they do after the event plus you'll have your baby in your arms so don't worry about tearing. I had tears of varying severity with each of my three (most recent only 20 days ago and I am hardly aware of the stitches and even doing my first poo wasn't an issue)

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