C section under GA

[monkeymouse123]

At 37 weeks I developed preclampsia and I was consequently induced. The induction process was fast, and labour took 3 hours. Baby was in 'fetal distress' so forceps were used to attempt to bring baby into the world, however failed. The medical team decided to perform a crash c-section and within minutes I was knocked out under general anesthetic to get baby out safely. Baby was transferred to NICU, following CPR as she did not breath initially, I got to meet the little one 24 hours after she was born. She is now ok following a few weeks on NICU. I still feel shocked and friends don't really understand how I feel as they think a c-section is quite normal process. I would be interested to hear if anyone else has experienced c section under general? Is there a way to discuss the birth with the hospital?

Now a Mum to two beautiful little ones.

[HariboAndWine]

I had one five months ago and completely understand your distress. I felt cheated out of the experience I 'should' have had and devastated that I hadn't been there for my dd2's first moments.

I went back to the hospital for something called 'birth reflections' where all medical notes were explained to my dh and I. It was hugely beneficial to both of us. We were able to ask questions and clarify what had happened and why.

I found/still find that people try to make you feel better by saying 'at least your baby is here safely' and while this is true it doesn't address those feelings of disappointment and resentment. I also found talking to dh hugely helpful as I realised he felt exactly the same way.

It is still difficult to deal with but I can talk about it now without crying and it is definitely getting easier. I wish you all the best. Enjoy your baby and it will get easier - promise

[Panzee]

From a long term perspective I was born by C section and my mum had a GA. we are as close as close can be and always have had a fantastic relationship. I know you will be feeling rather stunned but this is just something for you to think about later. Take care. :)

[SauvignonBlanche]

I have 2 EMCS under GA, I tried for a VBAC with DD but to no avail, she was in distress.

It does take time to get over it, I cried every time I saw a labour scene on the TV for ages.

I promise though that time is a great healer, I couldn't care less now, and loved them both straightaway, though I do sometimes tell them that they're not mine as I never saw them come out!

[emsyj]

I had an emcs under GA for foetal distress after a fast labour last time - it was very strange when I came round as I didn't 'recognise' DD at all and had no idea where I was.

It took a while to bond with DD but it did happen - and that can be the case with any type of birth.

Yes, you should be able to go for a birth debrief at the hospital to talk about why it happened - they may not have a good reason for you though! But you can ask any questions and explore why GA was used.

[monkeymouse123]

Thank you for the replies and for sharing your personal stories, all very touching.

It's good to hear others stories, and hearing that how I'm feeling is normal too. I worry that the bond isn't as strong as it should be, but as you all say it looks like time is a healer and bond is what you make it long term rather than those first few moments. I'll certainly look at getting a debrief with the hospital for clarity.

Thank you so much all of you

[PiannaFingers]

Just wanted to add that in my antenatal classes we discussed C sections with and without GA. The instructor was very clear that should any of us end up with GA it was almost to be expected that there would be bonding issues at first. Depending on the person and circumstances the length and severity could differ, but we were not to beat ourselves up about it (this was abroad in a NCT-type class).

[emsyj]

I remember getting an email from a lovely friend saying something along the lines of 'now you will understand the tiger mama feeling that you would do anything to protect your baby and this overwhelming love etc blah blah'. I just sat and cried because I didn't feel that I loved DD at all! It seems weird to think about that now, because I love her so so so much - but it was not immediate, so don't beat yourself up if you don't feel all those things that we are 'traditionally' told we should - rush of love etc. The first time I saw DD she was swaddled in a hospital blanket and a midwife tucked her next to me on a hospital trolley as I was being wheeled to post-op - she said, 'Oh, do you want your baby' and I thought - 'What baby??'. I just looked over at her and thought, 'I didn't expect you to look like that' - but that's all.

[IceBergJam]

DD is 14 months. I had a crash section under a GA. I wasn't in active labour so they were going to send me home or to the ward with a sleeping tablet. I told them I hadn't felt her move, so they strapped me up. The heart rate dropped off and never came back, then I lost meconium. The alarms went, I was stripped, and was in thearte and knocked out within minutes. She had the cord wrapped tightly around her neck.

When I woke up I didn't want to look at or hold my DD. It lasted a matter of hours, then I feel in love with her.

I suffered terribly with replaying the event in my head, over and over and was obsessed about the 'what if I went home / had the sleeping pill' alternative. I was also over anxious about her dying. I still struggle to watch birth scenes on the TV, and my voice shakes when I retell it. But I do feel fine about it 14 months on.

It will get better, but don't expect it too straight away. Cry and talk about it.

[amazingmumof6]

monkeymouse a friend had EMSC twice, 2nd time she had GA and she did feel pretty upset about missing the birth for a few months (that I know of).

to add insult to injury, she was quite angry that she practically went trough the whole process of labour twice only to end up with 2 EMSC.
she regretted not going for ELSC 2nd time, but her youngest is now 8, so I'm fairly sure she's over it now.

as twichy says, you can access your notes through the hospital