where can I get advice from a midwife or hv other than my own.

[Jenny123G]

Hi does anyone know where I can get advice from a midwife or hv other than my own.
Ds1 is 3. he was 11 days od. And I was induced. I had a third degree tear with him. He weighed 8lb 13 so not particular large.
Ds2 is 1. he was 2 days od and labour happened naturally. I had a second degree tear with him. He weighed 7lb 11.
Now I'm due in Feb and have the option of natural or c section. And although I am leaning towards natural I really really don't know what to do.
It took around 6 months for both to return to normal but bowel movements have never been the same although not life changing.
My consultant was no use at all just said she couldn't see a reason why I couldn't have a natural birth.
My midwife is wonderful and is the same one I had for all my pregnancies so she really does know my situation. But saying that all she can advise me to do is do my research and talk to others. As if she were in my situation she doesn't know what she would do.
I'm yet to find another mom who's had a 3rd and 2nd degree tear and is expecting again.
Just don't know where to go from here.

[cbeebiesatemybrain]

I'm sure I'll get flamed for saying this but netmums has a drop in clinic where you can post a question and a hv will answer. Also does your area have a birth reflections/afterthoughts service? This is where a mw goes through your notes from previous births with you to help you understand exactly what happened and why, it could help you to make a decision. Good luck with whatever you decide

[Skiffen]

You could contact the supervisor of midwives for your local team/trust. They are in post exactly for a situation such as yours where you need support and advice to make decisions and talk through best practice/policies etc. They are available in addition to your normal maternity/mw service and are usually very approachable and helpful.

[BuddyTheChristmasElf]

google independant midwife , they can go over your history with you and give you a second opinion

or superviser of midwives

or www.tommys.org/Page.aspx?pid=308
(not sure if this is the sort of thing they do, but I found emailing them about things I didn't want to bother my own horrible midwive with useful

[Jenny123G]

Thanks guys for the posts I will try both. How do I access the drop in on net mums. I'm new to all this.
Although correct me if I'm wrong but I have heard and got contact details for my local supervisor of midwifes but I thought this was a service if you were unhappy with your care?
I am more than happy with my midwife and I truly understand she can't make a decision for me as they aren't allowed plus there are risks for both type of deliveries. I wouldn't want to get her into any trouble. X

[BuddyTheChristmasElf]

and you can change consultants, you might need to stand your ground, they don't always LIKE giving you up to another team, but you can change and get another opintion

[Shallishanti]

No, the SoM is not just for complaints. I'd try there as they will be able to access your notes

[Skiffen]

No, that's a common misconception. The SoM is a MW of any grade (ie not a management role) who has been voted for by her colleagues (then interviewed and trained) to take on this particular role of advocacy and advice. A very useful resource for exactly this kind of situation. It is in no way "going over" your own mw.

[IfYouCanMoveItItsNotBroken]

Hi, others have advised you better than I can re talking to another health professional but I thought I would add that I had 3rd degree tears with my first 2 children. The second tear was apparently lesser than the first but was far harder to recover from. My consultant made it clear that he would expect me to attempt a natural delivery in the future so when I fell pregnant with number 3 I used a different hospital hence consultant. I saw him at 20 something weeks and he agreed to an elcs if I wanted it on the basis that the scar tissue is quite inflexible and although I wouldn't necessarily tear, it was more likely. I had my 3rd (and final!) child 9 weeks ago and it has been my easiest recovery, despite causing myself to get an infected wound. I understand that it's a big operation but I was happy to risk it given the pain, discomfort and incontinence I suffered for months after my tears. I know how you feel and, personally, wish I had pushed for a section with my 2nd pregnancy. It is painful but, in my experience, significantly less so than tearing without pain relief and the long recovery.