Join me in saying NO to Facebook til age 13.

(66 Posts)
weevilswobble Sat 21-Jan-12 08:06:29

Just that really. I'd like DD2 to have a childhood without the drug of Facebook. They can live without it, we can say no!

nev308 Fri 13-Jul-12 21:45:16

I agree entirely, no way my children are having Facebook accounts until they are at least 13.

imnotmymum Fri 09-Mar-12 12:38:35

Yes would not have an account at primary that not necessary at all same as I would not let my kids have a mobile in primary.

Bramshott Fri 09-Mar-12 12:03:41

I'm pretty relaxed about internet-type stuff and probably would let DD1 have a FB account once she goes to senior school (in the same way I'll probably let her watch a 12-rated film before she's actually 12).

Social networking via the internet isn't something that's going to go away, and is something our kids will need to learn to be savvy about and do sensibly. Better IMHO to discuss these things with them at a young-ish age when they still listen to you!

Theas18 Fri 09-Mar-12 11:54:33

I have a 12 (13 in may) and she has been told no and doesn't have it. Not sure if she'll even ask then TBH but I shall probably encourage her to have a highly supervised account then so she can learn to use it, and it's ups and downs.

DS set up a secret account at 12. Boy did he get bollocked! He wasn't very good at covering his tracks and had made his elder sis a friend! We didn't force him to close the account though as I figured he would do it again and in a much more underhand way if he wanted to, so I'd rather he was secure and heavily policed by me than spending all his time on their hidden.

I have seen the positives- the elder kids are friends with kids from primary for instance who went to other schools. I also know, in a very "hands off" way a bit of what's going on with DD1 at uni. Which is she's partying like mad but always appears, in the photos at least to be the least drunk of them all! I had a slight turn when she appeared in one photo with a huge black eye- looked very real but was for a dressing up thing-later photos emerged with friends dripping blood etc!

imnotmymum Fri 09-Mar-12 09:34:11

Yes there is the secret FB my DD2 friend was told not allowed and set one up as "all" her friends have it and she was a bit left out with the games etc on their. Surely this is worse !! Thanks M1 sensible and common sense and do not listen to the media scaremongering !

M1ssBerta Fri 09-Mar-12 09:31:19

imnotmymum has nailed it really. It's just an extension of friendship. It's the way of the World now so best to embrace it, sensibly and with common sense.

GrimmaTheNome Fri 09-Mar-12 09:28:07

>There is some chat about homework too.

DDs school has its own chat/email system - so they can do this sort of stuff which is useful, but its only other pupils, and if there was bullying there (unlikely, they'd have to be eejits to do it there) then the school would sort it out.

imnotmymum Fri 09-Mar-12 09:25:57

My kids have real friendships but just a quick way of arranging meeting points etc. We have real life friendships do we not but here we are conversing on Mumsnet . No need to be worried about age if your child is sensible enough to only accept people she knows ! Mine also have skype and twitter and a phone !

HSMM Fri 09-Mar-12 09:24:33

DD wanted Facebook in yr7 because all her friends allegedly had it. I was faced with the choice of setting up an account for her that we both have access to or one of her friends showing her how to set up an account herself. I went for the supervised account. There was one spate of bullying where I got involved with blocking people, but mostly it's just waffle. There is some chat about homework too.

GrimmaTheNome Fri 09-Mar-12 09:22:21

I didn't have to face this issue - my DD didn't ask for underage FB and now she's turned 13 she still doesn't seem interested.

Instead she does this really weird thing called 'Real Life Friendships' grin

If your child lies about their age to sign up underage, does that age then roll forward or can you correct it? I would be worried if a 12 year old was apparently 16 on FB.

imnotmymum Fri 09-Mar-12 09:14:06

I police my DD1/DD2 facebook we have an open relationship and are close and talk about safety etc. It is cheaper than providing them with endless credit for texts !! I know their passwords and often it is used simply for putting up cute photos of the puppy and chit chat about homework etc. They are 11 and 13. It also helps them keep in touch with cousins overseas

differentnameforthis Fri 09-Mar-12 09:09:59

It is FB. If it is well policed, and lets face it with a 6yo it is likely to be, I don't see the harm

Facebook is over 13, because as a previous poster mentioned, it is against federal law in the USA to hold info on under 13s.

So to let your under 13yr old on it is breaking federal law. If facebook were to be found to be holding info on under 13s, they may get prosecuted & that may well put the future of facebook in jeopardy. So then perhaps no one will get to use it.

effingwotsits Thu 08-Mar-12 21:31:00

DD aged 13 got it at 10. Big mistake. She no longer has it and is now 13 and a half (of course we are the parents from hell and she has no life etc etc...). Her other siblings will not be getting it either.

Chirpychick2010 Thu 08-Mar-12 21:26:38

I say No I've seen the bullying and the harm it does at a close hand and I wouldn't want my dd to go through what my friends dd went through. So it's a no from me!!

cumbria81 Fri 02-Mar-12 15:52:52

The 13 age barrier is totally arbitary and based on some random US law about data protection. Do you really think that at midnight on a child's 13th birthday they instantly start to use the internet resposnibly? No, they don't.

I totally agreee with the posters who allow (closely controlled) access at a younger age. Facebook is great when used correctly

hellsbells99 Sun 29-Jan-12 06:39:32

* sought not seeked!

hellsbells99 Sun 29-Jan-12 06:38:32

My dd set up Facebook behind my back when she was 12 - luckily her cousin told me! I deactivated her accnt and grounded her at the time. Having seeking advice from her ict teacher I let her on when she was 13 with me being a friend. Didn't no much about fb at the time - like the private messaging side. She has had problems - been 'fraped' by so called friend etc. I now have her password and she has made this clear to her friends - no longer any nasty stuff and used for making social arrangements, chatting and help with homework. Don't check it v often now as all calm - for now. Sorry for long post. I hate fb really ;)

ravenAK Sun 29-Jan-12 05:22:46

Hi Weevils,

I'm all for lying on the internet. I'm not really called ravenAK, for example. & if I'm filling in details on an internet form that doesn't need to know my postal address, but would quite like to so that it can sell it on to junk mailers, then obviously I'm going to make something up...& I always give a fictitious DOB.

I've taught my ds to do likewise - never, ever, give out genuine details on t'internet if it's avoidable - leave unrequired fields empty, & fill out the required ones truthfully or not dependent on whether the you need the company to have that info...

So yep, I was quite happy to create a FB account for him & give an inaccurate DOB. The DOB on my own account is deliberately wrong too.

The U13 rule IS very much about US legislation re: what data they're allowed to hold on minors. It's not a legal restriction. I daresay it's quibbling, but as far as I'm concerned, the hotmail account & password which are associated with ds's account were both set up & are both controlled by me.

Actually, ds got bored with FB months ago - I probably log into his account more than he does ('Oi ds, you need to reply to Uncle Ben!').

As for how it relates to my profession: well, I'm pragmatic AS a result of what I do for a living. My 'standards, rules & discipline' are different to the extent that I make sensible judgment calls when it's my own kids, as opposed to following external guidelines when I'm working with children. My tutor group thought it was outrageous that I wouldn't let them watch a 12 film the day before we broke up for Xmas - I'd absolutely have let my 7 & 5 year olds see it, but when I'm at work, that isn't my call to make.

So - I'd rather my own dc learnt about the internet under my aegis, than be one of the parents who regularly & smugly inform me that no, their child could not possibly be a cyberbully - because they don't allow FB - until they're confronted with a screenshot of the evidence.

rubyrubyruby Tue 24-Jan-12 20:51:41

What I am trying to say is that 'Yes' my DC's could feasibly set up FB accounts without my knowledge but there would be little point because of our social network we have.

weevilswobble Tue 24-Jan-12 20:33:26

Bellabeariswideawake said earlier on the thread that is it illegal to hold personal information about under 13s in USA. Is this the only reason for the restriction? I dont know. Anyone?

weevilswobble Tue 24-Jan-12 20:30:22

I agree with everything being said, BUT you have to lie about their age! Thats my problem!

Emmielu Tue 24-Jan-12 19:33:27

Ah yes friendship issues is common even on my fb! Some of my friends rant or bitch about their friends on there & they're grown women! I agree if the child is shown properly what it's REALLY for then they can get the most out of it.

PostBellumBugsy Tue 24-Jan-12 11:52:40

Nope, I won't be joining. I'm all for kids having FB accounts while they are young enough for their parents to set it up for them & teach them some net ettiquette. Both mine have accounts & we do it together. I have their passwords, I help them upload photos, our PC is in the family room, so I know what they are up to.
Social media is the way forward & I want my two to understand how to use it wisely, to know which friends are being stupid on it, what things are really unwise to do, how to manage "friendship" issues on it etc etc etc. They are much less likely to listen to my words of wisdom at 13, than they were when I first set them up on it (at 8 & 10).

LynnCSchreiber Tue 24-Jan-12 11:45:38

My kids don't call the shots, despite them thinking they do.

She is a teacher when she is at school. How she parents her child has nothing to do with her profession (unless she is horribly abusive, and allowing FB is not in my opinion abusive).

It is not possible to lock the PC down and then think, fine. I have protected my kids. Over 60% of children are thought to have been exposed to porn - in school, at their friends' houses, when they got passed child protection software.

Our kids are often more internet and technology savvy than we are and if they want to access something on the internet, they will find a way.

I guess the comparison is how we used to have a sneaky fag when we were out with friends. I know my mum was absolutely certain that my brother didn't smoke, but he did.

OnlyANinja Tue 24-Jan-12 08:25:40

It's more important that you pay attention to what they are doing on the computer and teach them about how to be safe and what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour than that you stick to an entirely arbitrary age limit.

It's not as if 12 and 364 days in unsafe and 13 and 0 days is suddenly safe to go on the internet by themselves.

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