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Daughter had her hair cut at school by another pupil.

31 replies

Nicola1983 · 21/03/2010 01:27

Hi there,

Just wanted to get everyones opinion please. On Friday just past i was called over to my daughter class teacher at the end of the school dya to say that another pupil had taken a pair of scissors and cut her hair. I was shocked to say the least but i was told it wasnt all that noticable and that the child in question had had their privillage time taken off them. At this point i may piont out the children in question are 4 and 5 years old.

On further inspection when i got home i could see the extent of the damage and i could have cried. Its awful. My daughter has long hair and right at the back near the crown she now has a clump of hair that is no more that than 1 inch in length. Both she and i are devestated that another child could behave this way to another pupil.

My husband marched up to the school to speek to the headmaster about it and both the class teacher and he headmaster said they would put it in writing to us as to how they are going to deal with this but to be honest im still not happy.

Having spoken to my daughter and other children in the class they were all sitting on the carpet listening to another teacher and the little boy in question ot up, went and got a pair of scissors and just cut off a chunk of my little girls hair - fully intentionally. When i asked what happend to the boy my daughter and her friends told me the teacher told him that that wasnt a very kind thing to do and he was removed from the class to sit int hte quiet room until he could learn how to behave.

My other concearn is that only i was informed about the incident. The parent of the little boy in question were not told about this at all and were allowed to go home and carry on as normal. I have written a letter to his parents telling them what i think about it all and that i will be seeking further action. Had this been an older child within the school, without any question they would have been suspended.

I am now debating weather or not to send my child back to school now. I mean what next - he takes another pair of scissors and stabs her in the eye with them??????

Anyway - any advie or guidlines etc would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Nicola

OP posts:
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Missus84 · 21/03/2010 01:33

Massive overreaction!

They are only 4 and 5 - this kind of thing happens. Sounds like the boy was punished appropriately at the time.

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Nicola1983 · 21/03/2010 01:41

The same little boy lashes out at my daughter all the time - he has been known to throw his school bag right in her face full pelt on a number of occasions, pull massive clumps of her hair out and grab her so tight he leaves a bruise.

OP posts:
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MadamDeathstare · 21/03/2010 01:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarmenSanDiego · 21/03/2010 05:09

You're seriously over-reacting with regards to the hair-cutting. It's not great but it happens and the teacher has dealt with it. Not really worth 'marching' to see the head about. What more do you want to happen? Hair grows back. It's honestly ridiculous to write to his parents.

The 'lashing out' and hairpulling is more of an issue though and I think you need to discuss this with the class teacher.

But don't take it to the parents. The school need to deal with it and it sounds like they are.

You're talking about 4-5 year olds. Of course they'd suspend an older child. But he's not an older child, he's 4/5!

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JollyPirate · 21/03/2010 07:03

Another poster here saying the hair cutting thing while distressing is not the major issue here. To be honest the scissors should not have been within his reach - end of.

The hitting and other behaviours though ARE an issue and need to be adressed. Is it just your DD he does this to or do other children get the same?

At 4-5 years old many children are still adjusting to school and often it is around this time that underlying issues can come to light. It could be that this boy has sme underlying issue which the school and the special educational needs people need to deal with. That's not YOUR problem though - it's the school's issue to deal with and they may need to look at providing supervision or one to one support for this boy to prevent these problems occuring.

My DS who is 7 can lash out if he feels crowded (probable Aspergers Syndrome) and tbh lots of the issues did not come to light until he was a similar age - the social skills of the other children progressed while his did not. However, all children iof this age can have some rough and ready social skills.

Not making excuses for this boy but thought it might help to know there may be issues that you are not aware of. Tbh I would have wanted to know if my DS had cut another child's hair. However, I bet this boy's parents are already aware of the issues taking place in school and starting the torturous journey of trying to get support in school.

Your poor DD though . Have the school told you what they will do to try and prevent the hitting etc. It sounds like someone needs to be supervising this other child a bit more.

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CarmenSanDiego · 21/03/2010 07:09

Sorry Nicola, read it back and I sounded a bit snappy in my reply. Really good advice from JollyPirate though. It's awful if you feel your child is being picked upon by another child.

But it's also easy to lose sight of the fact the 'bully' is just a very young child himself. It could be that he has special needs emerging or is struggling with school and his parents are working hard to help his behaviour. It could of course be that his parents aren't bothered and he receives no discipline. But this is why it is much better for the school to deal with because you just don't know what is going on.

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seeker · 21/03/2010 07:19

Bizarre that the quite long OP is about the hair cutting - (and a bit worrying that mother and child are "devastated" about hair that will grow!) and no mention til later of the the school bag in the face, the "massive" chunks of hair being pulled out and the bruising.....

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iMum · 21/03/2010 07:27

A good reason to make sure hair is tied back or even better plaited.

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JackBauer · 21/03/2010 07:49

I would just leave it TBH, and writing a letter will achieve nothing. He is 5, he won't understand ebing punixhed days after the event (which I assume is what you want)

Just so you know I do understand, DD1 was hit in the face with a stick by a boy in her class (of 4yr olds). We didn't find out what had happened until questionning her later that day. The boys mother still doesn't know he did it.

I was mroe angry that the teachers and TA's hadn't noticed a 4 yr old waving a big fecking stick around. I know of another child who had his hand cut with grown up scissors while they TA's weren't watching.
It is pointless being angry at the children beyond punishing then, they need adult guidance to learn to behave and you need to make it clear that they need to stop the hitting/pushing, which is more worrying (that it is ongoing)

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DecorHate · 21/03/2010 07:52

I posted on the other thread about this (under Primary Education). It's a bit stealth-like to not mention the hitting, etc at first.

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/03/2010 07:59

oh there are TWO threads on this

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onebadbaby · 21/03/2010 08:08

YABU unless there are other issues. Reception children cut their own and others hair once in a while. I taught reception and in most years there is a hair cutting incident. As for keeping scissors away from children, that is ridiculous. Most five year olds can be trusted around scissors (and they will be rounded ended child's scissors). They are an integral part of classroom activities- it is silly to suggest they should be away from their reach. Maybe the boy has SEN.

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ArthurPewty · 21/03/2010 08:13

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MmeLindt · 21/03/2010 08:15

Just noticed your post about hitting and pulling hair. That would make me more angry than the hair cutting incident.

How were these issues dealt with by the school?

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OrmRenewed · 21/03/2010 08:18

"I have written a letter to his parents telling them what i think about it all and that i will be seeking further action."

Yes of course they should have him hung drawn and quartered. Do you find that 'marching up to the school' gets a positive reaction

Of course the hitting is more serious but why so obsessed with the hair. And how do you know what sort of on-going communication the school have with this boy's parents?

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OrmRenewed · 21/03/2010 08:21

BTW sorry about the hair. Was your DD upset?

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cece · 21/03/2010 08:24

I think you are over reacting about the hair. Haircutting incidents happen at that age. And hair grows back...

I would advise 100% against writing to the parents of the boy about this. Let the school deal with it - they are the ones with the experience and know this boy better than you do.

I would definitely ask to speak to the Headteacher about the pushing and hair pulling though. I agree this boy could have SEN and although the school will not talk about this to you they should be able to listen to your concerns and perhaps provide further help for him if required.

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JollyPirate · 21/03/2010 08:33

Okay - I was wrong regarding scissors being out of reach. I am going by my own DS here as he would not have been trustworthy around scissors at age 4-5. He used to cut his teeshirts but never chopped another child's hair thank goodness.

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geordieminx · 21/03/2010 08:34

Although I have no experience of reception classes I would be more concerned that the little boy was not being supervised, and that the scissors were available for him to go and get - surely this is the teachers responsibilty?

Agree with everyone else though - at 4/5 they cannot be "punnished" for this, anymore than sitting in quiet area - what were you expecting - 5 strokes of the cane?

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MadamDeathstare · 21/03/2010 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PixieOnaLeaf · 21/03/2010 13:51

This reply has been deleted

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Jenzi · 16/10/2010 16:07

I wonder if any of you could put yourselves in the shoes of the victim here. Stop promoting bad behavior. I have just had my sons hair chopped off by another pupil at school in class, I am thankfull it was just his hair but i cant hang around to see what happens next Its attidudes posted here that drive teachers and governers to sit back and think well children will always do that to each other. The same pupil has been bulling him for weeks now.
Are you people out there going suggest to me, get over it? If we don't teach children consequences of their behavior Why is everybody running scared of todays youth?

Todays its me, who knows 2morrow might just be your turn. How is it going to feel then, i wonder?

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VivaLeBeaver · 16/10/2010 16:35

Old thread alert.

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serenity · 16/10/2010 17:00

What is with random people resurrecting old threads lately?

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dichotomy · 16/10/2010 17:07

Yes if the OP had stated "my daughter is getting bullied"

She didn't, it was all about the hair-cutting. which is relatively minor(as has been pointed out)

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