How would you handle this situation?

[GlastonburyGoddess]

Ok, a particular child at school has been causing problems since ds1 started. Ive always tried to see it from both sides as I know my son can be a bit of a so and so at times.

Anyhow ds comes home last night, coat hes had for less than a month has had the hood torn off the zip and the zip at the front wont do up, when questioned he tells me this child had pulled him by the hood off a piece of playground equipment and kicked him in the back.

Im pretty livid about this, will get dp to try the zip when he gets home later, but if he cant get it to move, coat is practicaly useless and will need replacing £25 from mountain wearhouse.

have spoken to school, who are ringing me this morning to talk about it.

What would you do in this situation? would you leave to the teachers to sort out? would you speak to the parents and ask for money to replace the coat?
Im reluctant to spk to the father myself, he seems a bit odd(at ds bday party last yr he gave ds 2 little presents, then his child had a meltdown at the end and he asked for one back, to give back to his son!!? i gave it back and thought what a spoilt child)

Im tempted to go down the school and lunchtime and stand in the playground watching whats going on-school obviously arent paying much attention(its not a huge infants school so an incident like this shouldnt be too hard to spot taking place)

opinions please?

[GypsyMoth]

i'd just leave it to the school to deal with. i think your son will encounter worse than this in time to come.....and thats alot of damage to a coat from a small tug? maybe you should take the coat back for refund?

[GlastonburyGoddess]

My sons farly big and heavy so this would not have been a "small tug" this child must have really pulled and pulled to remove ds from the equipment

[GlastonburyGoddess]

BUMP

[tghrmum]

NEVER SPEAK TO THE PARENTS!
£25 to replace a coat saves your child in the long run. But make sure the school acts on it.

[GlastonburyGoddess]

How do i get the school to act on it though? have spoken to the school before about this same child stangling my son at playtimes and other incidents, and the incidents keep on happening. do you think id be unreasonable to ask to go and observe at lucnch and see whats happening and how much supervision theyre actually getting?

[ajandjjmum]

Similar thing happened when ds was small - likewise he was no angel! - but the school asked the other mother to replace the shirt her ds had torn with a new one. She was actually mortified, and bought a two-pack, and I was really embarassed!

Always difficult!

[GlastonburyGoddess]

Just spoken to his teacher on the phone, shes going to talk to the teacher of the other child. she was not impressed that she hadnt been told about the incident yesterday when my son had gone to the first aider to complain about the pain in his back where the child had kicked him repeatedly. Also the fact the first aider had not sent a note home to inform me.

Not sure what to do about the coat, if you see my pics on my profile you can see its a pretty "hardy" ski coat type thing with strong plastic zips. I cant take it back for a refund as its clear that its taken a good old pulling by the other child. ajandjjmum what would you do/say to the school about it?

[GypsyMoth]

how would youb observe at lunchtime? if the schooln even let you then i wonder if the child in question would modify his behaviour for that playground session.

[ajandjjmum]

It's a hard one, but I might be inclined to take the coat in a show them to damage, saying this isn't just a gentle pull!!! Perhaps suggest that as you are going to have to pay for the zip to be repaired - at the very least - you will be looking at the school to recompense for any further damage to ds's belongings, caused by this particular child.

That way you're making your point, without pushing for payment for this incident.

[GypsyMoth]

i would keep a diary of whats happening,then you can see any patterns. also,they are infants?

[GlastonburyGoddess]

yes they are only 5 year olds