Bullied by teacher

[pottybutnice]

Teenager at all girls school being bullied by teacher. Got herself caught in the cross-fire between two girls having a friendship 'issue' and ended up being scapegoated and now ostracised by the girl who has badmouthed her across the year group. Unfortunately the teacher in charge of pastoral care has taken sides against daughter who can now do nothing at all right. The report by that particular teacher (but not others) was completely negative. An awful situation but my daughter doesn't want us to get involved as she thinks it will make things worse. The girl who has bad-mouthed her is quite influential in the school and also has influential parents and connections. The whispering campaign has gone on too long - but what we don't want to do is make things even worse.

[FernieB]

I will watch this thread in case someone can help as I am in a similar position. My DT's (9) are being picked on by their teacher following physical and verbal attacks by another girl in their class. The teacher blamed one of my DT's for the attack and now picks on them and phones/emails me to complain about them all the time. His complaints are trivial - I got an angry email from him moaning that they had not done well in a spelling test. Other kids had done less well but did not get emailed. The bully goes to him all the time making complaints about my DT's which other children say are not true, but he believes her and continues to tell tales to me all the time.

I have made a complaint to the head about him but as this was just before Christmas I am not sure whether anything will or has been done.

Does your daughter have good friends at school as this can make the difference at high school? At least at high school she does not have to see that teacher as much. Sadly there will always be teachers who are unprofessional like this. It's very difficult. I would be tempted to complain to the head.

[Brinco]

My daughter got detention during lunch and wasn' told by the teacher that detained her the reason for the detention.

The following day I wrote a letter to the teacher in question. When my daughter handed her the letter, the teacher asked who the letter was from. my daughter replied, its from my mum regarding yesterday.

The teacher started having a go at my dd. She told my dd, she had no right to tell me what had happened. So my daughter said it's unfair you kept me back without a reason,and I've dont nothing wrong. The teacher then told my daughter, it was because she was walking up the corridor the wrong way. (how petty)and it was breaking school rule.

My daughter tried to explained to her that she was'nt and they are cameras around, so she could have gone and check if my daughter was telling the truth. So in the end she told my daughter she is giving her detention after school for tell me.

The teacher rang me, and from the word "hello", she started having a go at me, saying I wrote her a rude letter. All I asked is why was my daughter in detention with out a reason? She was unprofessional yelling on the phone at me and then hung up.

That does not sound right, does it?

Teacher can be bullies.

[giveitago]

All three of you - OMG - Fernie and Brinco - you are also being bullied.

I'd go mad - teachers have a job to do but in your cases I'd be saying something along the lines to remind them that you are the tax payer and they are the hired help quite honestly.

Potty - is it that the teacher is giving her bad reports or is your daughter being picked on in the class? Were the reports previously OK? Can you meet this teacher and express concern? If no headway then take to HT?

Teachers can be arses - I had a junior teacher who thought I was a worthless waste of time - she ignored me and my work the entire year and then when she had to catch up with marking my work went BONKERS at me - didn't mark any of the work and as a punishment I had to have remedial maths!! To humiliate me I think - well thanks for the extra maths as based on that I ended up at a very good selective senior school so we had the last laugh.

[soapboxqueen]

Some teachers are bullies. I am a teacher who has herself been bullied by another member of staff. In the end I left because the HT was sympathetic but did nothing. He was an arse to the kids too.

I would complain, complain, complain to the HT until something is done. Then the governors then the LEA if applicable.

giveitago I think your attitude stinks . It is thoroughly condescending and insulting to refer to teachers as the hired help. As professionals we work bloody hard and every comment like that is a stab in the back for those of us who go above and beyond.

Yes there are crap teachers and those who shouldn't be in the job. Show me an industry where that isn't the case.

[giveitago]

I don't think my attitude stinks - I'm not rude, I'm not a trouble maker but I'm certainly not deferential.

There are many gps, doctors, teachers, government workers, politicians who make people feel so small - just a reminder of who's the tax payer and who's providing the service.

Yes, many teachers go above and beyond - same in any sector but what I'm shocked at is that on the bullying threads a fair amount of the advice is about making sure you get on the right side of the school.

Makes them sound pretty scary. A few weeks ago (and my introduction to the school my ds will be going to shortly) I took a friend's child to school - wasn't sure of the protocol and wanted to ensure I'd got him there safely - followed him into the class - asked the teacher if there was anything else I needed to do she responded 'take a wild guess'. Bloody hell - I didn't respond as there were kids but I saw her in the street and reminded her that she was representing a school to prospective parents and to be mindful of that in future. I think that's fair enough.

[soapboxqueen]

Referring to anyone as the hired help IS rude. It implies that they are of no consequence, unimportant and of little value. You also seem to be suggesting that all of the above named people are not tax payers. Since many of these people earn more than the national average they pay more into the system them most so why they should be referred to as public dogs bodies I don't know. Being deferential and showing respect are two different things. I can respect other people for their knowledge and skills that I do not posses without having to think of them as servants so that I do not feel insecure.

Although I will admit to being fairly new to MN most of the bullying threads I have read tell the OP to get back there and demand action and not allow the schools to get away with it.

[giveitago]

I think I'm entitled to my view. Perhaps you should get off your soapbox.

The tax payer is the client - the hired help is person in the tax payers funded post providing the service - what's wrong with that? I was a public servant - my role was funded by the taxpayer - I decided I'd view myself as the hired help and I don't have an issue with that.

I'd suggest that you perhaps are the person who feels insecure.

Sure I understand that teachers have it hard - but so do lots of other jobs.

Don't assume I don't have the knowledge or skills of 'other people'.

I'll defer to professional but I'd never assume that they are always right.

Alot of the posts give advice on how to word letters as not to piss off the schools, who to approach first as not to make the teacher feel undermined. They do.

[nickschick]

My ds1 was bullied by a teacher he was only 9.

We fought for nearly 2 years to get this put right and eventually the teacher was offered early retirement meanwhile ds1 was educated at home with a tutor paid for by the LEA.

[giveitago]

Oh Nickschick - OMG - you had to fight for 2 years.

I was bullied by a teacher at junior school and I had her for two years. She wasn't horrible but I didn't exist to her (nasty bit of labelling) and if I wanted to do anything with my friends ie an assembly she'd stop me - I was very very excluded. My dad hated the school and the only reason he didn't pull me out was because I had good friends and was happy - he basically gave me all the teaching I needed at home - but we're going back to the 1970's here and I'd have hoped that teachers would be better but I'm wondering.

I appreciate teachers have a hard time but my goodness what a defensive occupation it is.

And in the above cases looks like the parents are being a bit bullied as well.

I assume your son is OK now?