Our own bullying stories

[MegaPhone]

I have just read the message below about the school trip (which I will reply to in a minute) but it brought back a lot of depressive thoughts from being a teen. I wondered if people on here who have been through similar would like to share their stories in one thread?

Mine started at primary school when I was about 8 or 9. I moved schools so often I never really made friends but some kids were really horrible. Like one time there were two teams and the 'captains' had to pick kids. I was the last one to be picked (this happened EVERYTIME) but this time the teacher said "megaphone, choose a team and go to it" and both teams both started waving their hands frantically saying "Not us!! don't come to us!!" and the teacher was trying his hardest not to laugh

Another time we were discussing Victorians and the teacher mentioned paupers. One boy said "would Megaphone be a paupa? because she never has nice clothes or nice hair" and the whole class burst out laughing and again the teacher just smiled and turned away without even telling him off.

In the dinner hall the kids would rub their forks vigorously saying stuff like "Megaphone could have eaten off that! make sure you clean it properly"

At secondary school it was the same, nobody wanted anything to do with me and if I 'had' to sit near them they would roll their eyes and move their chair as far away as possible. In PE nobody wanted me on their teams and one girl once said to me "for gods sake, can't you just tell the teacher you're ill? you're ruining the game for everyone else" just because the teacher had forced me onto her team.

One boy once slung a load of flour all over me (black uniform) and I had to walk around like that all day and when we had to work in pairs or groups, they would say stuff like "why are YOU over here?" and if I said "teacher said I had to work with you" they'd roll their eyes and say "great" and one time a girl refused to do any work unless I was put on the other team and the other team them protested against it saying they'd all "strike" if I was on their team. Teacher did tell them off that time but it just made it all the more embarrassing, one kid and a teacher against the rest of the class.

The worst one was when a boy asked me out. I stupidly said yes thinking he was genuine and he ran off to a huge group of waiting kids screaming "she said yes! help!" etc

So that's my story, sorry for going on, I know some have had it worse. Would anyone else like to share?

[TheInnocentBystander]

Thats awful . Aren't kids cruel? (well some adults can be for that matter but in a sneakier more covert way) Did your parents know what was going on?

[BabyStarlightsMum]

Megaphone

Your story is great, - because it is a very good example of what bullying is truly like and shows the complexity.

It is not merely a case of finding a bully and disciplining them. I should imagine that would have not helped you at all.

You also give excellent examples of different types of teacher behaviour which quite obviously did not help you.

My story is similar actually. I hope the scars have made you a stronger person.

I used to fantasise about starting up a 'bullying club' at dinner times, so that me and others in my position could have a room, be protected and possibly make friends. I then promised that I would make it my vocation to DO SOMETHING.

Sadly I didn't, because my self-esteem was so erroded that I had problems for a very long time that affected my career choices. Perhaps sometime in the future.....

[HelenBurns]

I hate to say it but this happened at our primary school to a new boy, when we were 11.

Everyone kind of joined in and started to believe that he really was 'dirty' when in fact he was just new.

His voice had broken and he sounded really gruff. I think the other boys started it, but soon it was as though because everyone else was mean, we all started to think there must be something wrong with him and we all avoided him.

I seem to recall saying to the others to leave off him, once or twice, but it had no real impact - it was a real phenomenon. I found myself avoiding him too, I was scared of him because they all said he was ugly.

He grew up to be in the army I think, very popular etc - I think he fought back iyswim. I was lucky enough to meet him when we were at secondary age, and apologised to him for what had gone on. I think he kind of shrugged it off and said not to worry and he was a stronger person or not bothered or something.

But I am fairly sure that these things happen in every school and I am terrified of ds experiencing something similar from either side. I'd be furious if he was doing it to someone else.

[catinthehat1]

Well so far Erin's asked NEEPS (North East Eco-friendly People's Site) and the National Nubian Networking site the same questions.

Now either she's on work experience and been given the Ms and Ns to work through, or she's got an agenda going!

[catinthehat1]

I am so sorry , totally the wrong thread. Apologies again.

[evaangel]

megaphone

although I dont recall being bullied at school, my brother was bullied to extreme lengths, in primary school I was there so I could stick up for him but when we both went to high school, I was sent to all girls school and he was sent to all boys.

My parents were forever up at the school trying to sort this out

however one day he absolutely snapped and hit one of the harder boys in the face, he sort of got a sort of respect iyswim from the bullies and they left him alone after that

he was in a violent relationship where his wife was physically and mentally abusive...tbh his life makes me feel quite sad at times but after he left her he seems to be ok, he is in a much better relationship now, he is alot stronger now
hope this all makes sense

[petetong]

Yep. I had similar experiences. I think the thing that gets to me even today is the atttitude of the teachers who, like your experience, joined in the laughter. The picking teams business is a total joy to a bully and I was horrified when my children started school and told me that this still happens now.