Help with 11yr old who hates school

[multitask]

I've been a lurker here for a while and have read some great advice. I am sorry my first post is asking for advice but I am sure you will all understand.

My 11yr son is at his last year in primary school. He is in a small class of 18 pupils and only 8 boys. He has nothing in common with any of them, they are all football mad and a bit too street wise. He is a quiet bright child who isn't sporty in a football sense. He enjoys sailing, kayaking, sea cadets and is a computer whizz kid. This is setting him apart, the other kids call him a Nerd, but are always asking his advice in computer class. He is very smart, top of his class, enjoys the challenge of work, will do additional work and puts 100% effort into everything he does, he is an A* pupil and this too sets him apart, the other boys want to avoid work, get into trouble and mess about.

He has no friends, not that we'd want any of them as friends. He dreads school on a Monday morning, he complains the night before and just mopes around. When school finishes on a Friday or end of term he is a different child, full of laughter, fun and talks non stop, but during the week he is withdrawn, subdued and complains of hating going into school.

Providing he gets his 11 plus, he wants to go to a top all boys grammar school which he has been to visit and can't wait to get into. He relishes the challenges of new subjects and the work involved.. I wasn't convinced an all boys school would be right for him, but now think with classes of 20 boys the likelyhood of him making a friend who is more like him is higher.

So, how does he get through the next six months? It is breaking my heart watching him leave for school, I know his stomach is churning and he HATES it. My friend is the other P7 teacher in his school, she keeps a look out for him and his own teacher says his work isn't suffering, he participes in all discussions and doesn't appear unhappy.

I just wondered if there is anything I can do for him to make the next 6 months easier, he's not being bullied physically but life is no fun for him at school..

[charlotteolivia]

You say he does lots of things, does he have friends at the sailing club and at sea cadets? do they ever come round/go out? You should be so proud of ds that he is able to work so hard through this. he sounds brave.
school is tough, but if you focus on doing things with outside-of-school friends maybe this will help?

[multitask]

Thank you Charlotteolivia, he does have friends in both the yacht club and sea cadets, in fact he can't wait to get out to these activiites.. However they are not friends he brings home as not that local to home.

I know he is counting down the days until school is finished this year. He has a school residential to tackle in June, he will love the activities but not the company..

I know life isn't always easy but it's not nice to watch..

[onwardandupward]

Take him out of school until the Autumn?

[hippipotamiWantsToLoseAPound]

Does he have to go on the school residential?

Could you HE him until the 11+?

My ds is similar to yours, completely unsporty, he likes dancing, acting and drama so stands out like a sore thumb amongst his footbal-mad classmates. Luckily he is in a school with 87 pupils per year group so he has found one or two likeminded boys (but these are sadly not in his class)
However, he has befriended some of the girls (who I have found are quieter, more studious and not at all into football )
Are there any girls ds gets on with?

[hippipotamiWantsToLoseAPound]

Sorry, I did not mean your ds was unsporty, I was just illustrating mine is...

[YeToxicHighRoad]

He sounds like a fantastic lad. I'd be very tempted to take him out of school once he passes the 11+. - which I'm sure he will.
I don't have any experience of HE, and I don't know if you have more DCs, but it doesn't sound as if his schoolwork would suffer, and it's probably the last chance you'll have to give him some freedom and a break from all the stress, also building up his confidence for the new school.

[multitask]

Thanks everyone, yes he is unsporty in the traditional sense. Only into sailing, rowing, kayaking etc..

Home Schooling might benefit him but the last term in school they have activities he wants to do, cycling proficiency, and a residential course which off course includes canoeing and rock climbing which he will be very good at.. I think perhaps a chance for him to show the other boys that his choice of sports are fun!

Just getting the last few months in will be hard..