How to get them to tell someone when they get hurt at school

[Flightattendant7]

Ds told me just now that yesterday some of the big boys started taking the snowballs he and his friends had made, and when he fell over on the ice they put them down his neck.

He said they also were holding them out for him to take back, then when he tried they suddenly took their hands away

I know it isn't serious stuff in the grand scheme of things but he is only 5 fgs. my friend's 6yo son was being bullied all last term and has only just told her, and the head's response was 'boys will be boys' bla bla.(He has AS which obviously makes it harder for him) She's considering hE until the summer when they are going abroad for a year.

I have suggested to ds that he must tell a teacher as soon as somethinhg like this happens, but he never seems to remember. How can I get him to seek help at the time? I hate to let him go into this kind of environment where he's being teased and nobody steps in.

[happynewRia]

for your DS.
Our school talks about this kind of thing in circle time, so maybe have a word with his teacher to see if they do the same.
My DS1 (11) was bullied at primary school and we got much the same answer as your friend, plus "he gives as good as he gets", and then eventually he ended up the one in trouble because he got sick of it and tried to stand up for himself
He is still being bullied at secondary school, but I am so at him being miserable that I have encouraged him to go to the teacher for whatever, and I won't hesitate in getting in touch myself any more either. DS2 is a different personality altogether and isn't afraid to tell, but also seems to keep out of the way better!

What I think I'm trying to say is we were fobbed off and ended up faffing about and not going into school at the drop of a hat, and I think that's where we went wrong. From now on I'm out there batting for my DSs and I don't care if the school think I'm a pain in the arse!!!
Hope your DS is happier soon.

[Flightattendant7]

Ria, thankyou very much

I'm glad your ds is happier now and has learnt to handle it. I can't get past wondering if it happens in all schools, which makes me sad.

I mentioned it to the head this morning in the playground, who said she was sure it would not have been malicious, just something the older ones thought was a 'game' which they wouldn't mind themselves and got out of hand.

I said no I'm sure no malice intended but is there someone out here to keep an eye on them? she said she would talk to all the older boys, despite ds helpfully pointing out which one it was.

I will see if anything is done. She went on about how we can't 'mollycoddle' them and they have to learn for themselves. Yeah right. he is 5 years old fgs!

I'll follow your advice and keep right on top of it from now on. Thankyou x

[happynewRia]

for you. maybe point out to her he is only 5(my DS2 is 5) and that you really wouldn't like him to consider this "fun" when he is one of the big boys, that good behaviour/good manners is learnt from being little and by example...(can you tell I usually send DH in ). (This is DS1s argument at secondary - when he is a yr11 he isn't going to be a big "I am" to the yr7 cos he doesn't think it's nice. Bless him, I hope he sticks to it)
good luck.

[Flightattendant7]

He sounds lovely Ria, what a nice boy

I think you make a very good point. It's just her trying to smooth it all over I think, but still - I'm having naughty thoughts of going and having a strong word with the little fecker who was nasty to ds myself, if she doesn't! (sits on hands)

[happynewRia]

sadly probably not a good plan FA, but I've been there too (more of grabbing the little fecker by the throat though)

[Flightattendant7]

Oh golly! Must admit I know how you feel though

[happynewRia]

I didn't do it