Getting sick of it now and am so tempted to tell ds to hit back.

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

Ds has had problems with one boy since they both started his school in August. Boy A has regularly hit ds in the head, kicked him in the testicles, pushed him over and put wood shavings down his back. The school have put this boy on report, given him detention and told him to keep away from ds but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. After a few weeks of him leaving ds alone he has thumped him in the head again, leaving ds dizzy, crying and with a headache. ds said he also pushed leaves into his mouth. ds said that the head didn't do anything, he just said OK . I'm not sure what to do. He has shut ds's hand in a door, locked him in a toilet and turned out the lights and has hit him in the head infront of the headmaster. It seems like I'm paying money for him to hurt. They are both 9 by the way and the other boy is known as a lad that is less frugal with the truth. I've taught ds how to block punches but this boy is alot bigger and I don't feel as if I should have to do this. I just needed to vent really. I'm so pissed off.

[thisisyesterday]

i think you need to have a serious talk with the school.
tell them that you will get the police involved if your ds is constantly being assaulted at school, because it sounds like this is more than just bullying.

[morningpaper]

have you kept a record of times/dates and contact with staff etc?

If you've got this I would send it to the Governors pronto with a strongly worded complaint

I'm sure someone else will be along soon with advice

sorry you and your ds are going through this

[thisisyesterday]

i would also be compolaining to ofsted, or whoever else you can complain to about schools.

and I would want a plan of action from the school on how they are going to deal with this from now on

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

I'm going to send ds in with a strongly worded letter tomorrow saying that I want to have a meeting with them about this. This boy has attacked other children too so he is a danger.

I have not kept a record but ds remembers it all. They have a board of governers, a head for the junior school and one for the senior school, the senior school head is due to retire at christmas, the other head has a new job so shall be leaving at christmas too.

[morningpaper]

Buy a notebook

take note of ALL incidents from the child and ALL correspondence/talks to staff

then you hvae a proper record

you could ask governors for enquiry anyway

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

Ok. Thankyou for your responses. We've never had anything like this happen before. They were all (mostly) lovely children at ds's last school.

[Freckle]

Ask to see a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy. Every school should have one and you have a right to see it. Then check to see if the school is following its own policy.

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

I think it's on the school's web site. I shall sift through it with a fine comb.

[starbear]

How old is your Ds? I'm going to repeat what has already been said get a note book and ask Ds to writing in it or your write verbatim what has been said and done by the bully. Find out if your local borough police have a School Involvement office/r. Keep that number on the back burner if you are not happy with the headteachers solutions. Talk to his tutor in person.

[SparkyFartDust]

don't know if this is at all helpful but just seen this thread

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

The web site just says they take it very seriously and the policy is availiable in reception.

ds is 9 starbear, the same age as the other boy but ds is smaller. His tutor isn't in until Monday, ds is due to go on a school trip with the head and the other year class (the class the other boy is in).

Thanks Sparky. I'm having a look.

[starbear]

As the boy is 9 year old he is under the age of criminal responsibility. But that shouldn't stop a schools officer from having words with his parents and him.

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

I've met his mother when he shut ds's hand in a door. She accused ds of lying and making everything up, despite there being a witness. Her child was only upset because he had been given detention!

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

Does this sound ok?

Dear...
ds has made me aware of yet another incident that took place today which has made me concerned. He has informed me that a child in the other class, child A, has yet again hit him in the head, to such an extent that ds needed first aid and has spent the afternoon with a headache and feeling dizzy, as well as pushing dead leaves into his mouth.

As this is not the first time this has happened, I am concerned that this persistant bullying and assault towards ds will get out of hand. I am aware that you have previously put measures into place due to prior violent acts, however the persistance of this child and the violence he is using towards ds is continuing. I do not feel that it is enough to advise these boys to avoid each other as this child appears to purposly ignore this so that he can hurt ds.

I would appreciate an appointment with yourselves as I wish to be advised on how the school intends on disciplining this child further and ensuring my child's safety.

Yours sincerely
Avenanap

[morningpaper]

I'd miss this out:

"disciplining this child further and"

and maybe add "I would also be grateful if you would provide me with a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy"

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

Thanks.

[thisisyesterday]

"ds needed first aid and has spent the afternoon with a headache and feeling dizzy, as well as pushing dead leaves into his mouth."

sounds like ds spent the afternoon with a headache etc and pushing dead leaves into his own mouth!

would re-arrange it a bit to read something like:

He has informed me that a child in the other class, child A, has yet again hit him in the head, and also forced dead leaves into his mouth. ds required first aid and spent the afternoon with a headache and feeling dizzy.

or

He has informed me that a child in the other class, child A, has yet again hit him in the head, to such an extent that ds needed first aid and has spent the afternoon with a headache and feeling dizzy. During the incident child x also forced dead leaves into ds's mouth.

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

My hand touched send and I've emailed it. Poor grammar and all!

[thisisyesterday]

well I hope it does the job.
kids shouldn't have to go through this at school. the school have a duty to protect them. makes me so angry

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

I'll see what they say. This boy has hit other children in the mouth before and cut their lip open. He's known to lie and say he was no where near/didn't do it. It makes me so mad. It's a private school so I feel as if I'm paying for this to happen to ds. (it would be bad in a state school to though, no child should have this happen to them)

[qwertpoiuy]

OP, I am so sorry to read about your poor son.
Has there been any developments since?
My brother was in the same situation years ago, but then he became bigger and stronger than the bully and the bully became afraid of him!

[SweatyArseCrack]

Once they hit 10 they can be reported for assault. That may be the only way to get it taken seriously.