need advice please

[kee27]

hear gose well my ds has been picked on at school for a little while now . well any way 3 weeks a go this boy who keeps picking on my ds pushed him over and hurt my ds . so my ds had enought and got up and hit him but broke his nose in anger . which i dont condone but knowing my ds its not like him at all . well any way the school delt with it and yes my ds was made to be the bad one . when all along i was allways making the school awear that this boys was picking on my ds . so b4 they broke up from school a friend of the mum whos boys nose was broke . went round asking ppl to donate some mony to bye this boy a pressie as he had to go in to hospital to have his nose fixed. and when ppl asked what happend she replyed with my ds name saying how his a nasty lill boy who broke this boys nose i dont know how to deal with this now any one with advice please

[VinegarTits]

I dont know what to say really, hopfully the boy will have learnt his lesson about bullying your ds, sounds like it has all been dealt with v. badly by the school, i would just lie low till it dies down if i were you.

Your ds must have some right hook on him to have broe the boys nose!

[Fimbo]

Sympathies Kee27.

My ds and some of his friends were mucking about at nursery and they were all pushing and shoving each other, unfortunately ds pushed a little boy a bit too much and he fell into a bookcase causing a nasty bruise on the boys face. The nursery teachers said if the little boy had fallen on the carpet (which happened to my ds when the little boy pushed him) then he wouldn't have been hurt. My ds was unaware he had actually hurt someone as he wasn't doing it intentionally it was a game they were all playing but was spoken to by the nursery and us. I also apologised to both parents. They were fine about it or so I thought. I later found out that the mother had invited the whole nursery class to the boy's birth party with the exception of my ds, the nursery teachers were appalled by this and told the mother this, but she held her ground because my ds had hurt hers (despite saying not to worry and these things happen and me having her ds round to play). I found out also that a lot of parents had thought it terrible that she hadn't invited my ds and decided not to go to the party (she told another mother she wasn't inviting my ds), so I/my ds was the subject of playgroup gossip which I knew nothing about.

Sorry that was an essay. I say hello to this woman but nothing more and suggest you do the same.

[kee27]

i just feel my ds has been let down by the school all thos what he did was rong . but should have never been aloud to get this bad . as for his right hook lol i didnt know he was that strong . but must have been so wound up

[VinegarTits]

Can you speak to the head and explain how let down you feel? maybe if they had dealt with the bullying better, it wouldnt have come to this

[kee27]

i am so [angry ] tho as i have had other mums not talking to me . but i will sust ignor them as long as my ds dont start getting the brunt of it now thanks every one for ur help x

[kee27]

im going in to see the head when i pic my ds up from school so will be etting them know how i feel about this all

[kee27]

i hate it all tho as i feel sorry for my ds . he is being looked at as the nasty one who should not be played with he is only 8 and nevr wants to upset any one that is the thing about it all he is so senstive

[AJ2008]

This is awful for you. There is a website that you should check out and there is a free helpline. The people who man it are fantastic.

The site is called: Kidscape

They helped me when my daughter had a terrible time at school and we learned what our rights were and how to tackle the school. I wrote an article about it here

Somehow you have to make the school listen to your concerns and then do something to help you.

Good luck.

[kee27]

thanks hun

[andellewi]

I recently turned to this forum when my son started having a few problems in school. He decided to play by the rules and not retaliate and told the teachers instead what was happening. Nothing improved for him. He got to the stage he would't go to school the last day of last term. He has now decided that if no one will sort things out in school, he'll sort them out himself. Last week, a boy started a fight with him and he punched him back and made him cry. He won't start trouble but he'll finish it. He got into trouble but the other boy got away with it. I wrote a strong letter to the school outlining events and stated that a perpetrator of trouble should not get away without punishment whether he cries or not. I documented it and advised that I would monitor the situation closely myself and question any event like this in detail. Things have improved. Document it and keep a copy. My boy is just turned 9, his is no bully but sticks up for himself.

Don't let the school make a particular issue of your child either. If it's playground events for the most part, why is it being missed? Good luck.

[kee27]

hi ya all i just wanteted to let u know how we have been getting on . well i have had a meeting with the head teacher and she asured me she didnt know what was going on . yer right she knew allright . she was triying to tell me im being oversenstive me i said i dont think so . so any way we sort of solved the prob . and the other boys mum was called in and her bitch of a friend sorry to be so nastey about her but after what she did im so with her . they was both told what they did was rong and should not of happend unless the school gave permission . to do so i was not at the meeting with them so dont know what els was said but i did tell the head if it carrys on any more . and my ds is picked on any more i will take the mater to the school bord and so on till it gets sorted touch wood my ds has been ok so far lets hope he showed them he is no push over im just gutted it had to happen this way but thanks for all ur advice x x x x x x x

[AJ2008]

The one way to make sure the school cannot say "they did not know" is to write a letter whenever anything like this happens.

What you could do is write to the Head and say how good it was to be able to discuss the problems - then outline the problems and summarise what was said and what was agreed.

Then if you need to go in a gain, it is all there in black and white and the Head cannot say she did not know.

This will be very important if you end up going to the Governing Body. If there is nothing in writing then it is the Head's word against yours.

If you have not checked out the Kidscapewebsite, they have all sorts of info that could help you.

Good luck

[kee27]

thanks aj i will tk ur advice and mk letters to the head and and phto copy at the same time so then they can neve say they have not got a letter from me thanks hun x but like i say its all been qiet at the mo so fingers crossed it stays like that x